Never been abroad or on a plane at age 35!

[SalemShadow]

There was a woman on dinner date yest. She is 35, never been abroad or on on an aeroplane. She was telling her date he will have to take her on a holiday. Aibu to be completely shocked? I couldn't believe it. Seems a sheltered existence

I don't see how missing out on a cheap package holiday in Magaluf means having a sheltered existence. She might have explored the UK and done a lot more interesting things than people who go to the same holiday place every single year
You know that there are other alternatives than these, right, Morondela? I don’t go to the same place more than once and am never ‘stuck’ in a hotel. I’ve had some good and some dull holidays in the UK and abroad.
I don't go abroad and people are so fucking judgey about it. I have been - parents took us - but I doubt I'll go again.
Any reason Rosa? Your reasons could be causing the judginess, or people could be being arses. It’s hard to tell.

Never been abroad or on a plane! She wants to go so I assume a money thing!

She should just cultivate a money tree and pay to go abroad. What a daft, sheltered nobody.

I’ve been abroad quite a lot over the years but I certainly wouldn’t judge people who haven’t. A good friend of mine can’t fly due to medical reasons but she is certainly not ‘uncultured’. Other people may simply not have the funds to go abroad. Others may have a fear of flying (more common than you think) or may simply not enjoy the hassle of airports, transfers etc. and may instead prefer UK based holidays.

Quite a narrow outlook you have there, OP.

Cardi they just look so shocked when I say I don't plan to go abroad.

and they ask "why not" in a tone of horror. I always just politely say it's not for me, unless they pull out the offensive racist "but don't you want to go HOME" - home is North London and my parents left their country for very good reasons. Usually when I say "I'm not travelling to a place I'd be scared to walk around as a woman alone" most people shut up, though you do get the odd one who asks if I have any male relatives who can take me.

at that point, I do say freely that they are spectacularly missing the point, but I am always polite about it.

I don't think I should have to give a reason for why I don't want to go abroad either. It's not as if I am refusing to do something vitally important, or ignoring a person who has fainted in the street or something.

I'm 49 and never done either and only just got my very first passport two months ago...

But you can go abroad not on a plane.

You can go to Venice on a train, for eg, from St Pancras, eurostar to Paris, maybe enjoy couple nights Paris see the sights, sleeper to Venice only about 30 euro iirc, go to sleep in France wake up look out window in verona, then in over the lagoon to Venice. Brilliant.

Better for environment, and the whole thing about the journey being part of it is there to the max. Exciting and somehow romantic.

Don't get me wrong I go on places also but there is something about trains and the sea.

OP she could check out website man in seat 51 he is amazing, we took kids on multi stop train holiday last year with help from his site 🙂

Oops seat 61

www.seat61.com/index-mobile.htm

I worked for an FE College in the Midlands. Taking level three students on a trip to London (bearing in mind they are heading for university the following year). Very few of them had been to London , some of the,m had not even been to cities less the 50 miles away! Quite astonishing!

I get offers from eurostar all the time for return to Paris Brussels Bruge etc for like 30 pounds.

I know that it is expensive to travel to London to access this
I know there can be other costs

But traveling abroad is cheaper than it has ever been.

I mean Ryanair. I go to Ireland about 20 return or something. Not saying this is good but it is there. Other low cost airlines are low. Air baltic for eg check out somewhere in Eastern Europe I have recs there to. For single / dual travelers cheap.

Families it is all expensive as numbers but that's a different combo.

cardibach
I have lived in 3 continents, I take my kids on holiday to a different country at least once a year, and holidays are part of basic expenses for me. I am absolutely not against travelling.

My point was that I don't feel superior to people who don't travel. The most arrogant and smug "travellers" I know think they have experienced the culture and know a country because they've spent a couple of weeks in there. Them, I do judge.

I know shockingly little about the UK because I spend as little time as possible in here. I don't feel superior about it either.

It's the OP who is very judgmental.

SalemShadow what exactly is your travelling experience?How many foreign languages do you speak?

I worked for an FE College in the Midlands. Taking level three students on a trip to London (bearing in mind they are heading for university the following year). Very few of them had been to London , some of the,m had not even been to cities less the 50 miles away! Quite astonishing!
I think it's more astonishing to work in FE and not realise that many students' horizons are very narrow as a result of poverty. I have taught in schools where children had never left their city of birth, never seen a farm animal in real life (the size of cows totally freaked out one child I took on a trip) and basically spent their entire lives on the estate where they lived, with occasional bus trips for shopping to the city centre. It made me sad but didn't surprise me at all.

I personally I do find it strange as I love travelling and since a teenager have saved all my spare money to go.I love to travel around the UK to but find other countries fascinating.
Plane not an issue on different trips I've been by car, coach or train to:
Sweden
Poland
Spain
France
Ireland
Portugal
Holland
Germany
Italy
But that said each to there own. My good friend has rarely been abroad but loves to spend her spare money on lovely clothes. Something that doesn't interest me at all but she gets great pleasure out if it.

kenne that example was specific to racists talking to me about what they think is "home". Cardi asked how the conversations go and I was just elaborating. Also, I didn't want someone coming along saying "but ...but ...OTHER CULTURES" while assuming I had no knowledge of any other cultures. Again, I have no criticism of those who don't know other cultures. Frankly my parents' country culture isn't a source of joy.

I've been to a few countries as a teenager. I don't wish to devote time or money to going abroad again. If that makes me weird in your view, I think you are quite narrow minded. Everyone has different preferences.

Before we took her last year, MIL had never been abroad. She didn’t grow up with much money (DH had never been abroad either until he met me) so it wasn’t something they considered. Most holidays they had with the family were cheap places where they either knew someone with accommodation they could get at mates rates, or they would be working while they were there.

I think as she got older and didn’t have to pay for the kids anymore, the idea of organising it and getting a passport and navigating airports was a bit overwhelming and she really needed her adult kids to take her and introduce her to the experience. DH and siblings had all gone abroad for the first time with a partner by then.

Does this make her sheltered? No. She just hadn’t been abroad. Not everyone is from the kind of background where that is easy, either because of money or opportunity. I think it’s fairly sheltered to not have considered that not everyone has the same opportunities in life.

I went on an school exchange at 14, Greece with my mother and her husband at 19. Then a church trip with DS2 in my late 20s...next abroad was a sailing course to the Sark and Guernsey aged 40...all of which were organised by others...now 52 ..i still wouldn't have a clue how to organise a trip even if I had the money.

Most people who say they are scared of flying, aren't. They're scared of the plane crashing!
Imo fear of flying is all about control, and who is in charge. On a plane I'm not in charge, the pilot is and he's not me. Obviously I would be a much better pilot 🤣
Op I don't think it's in any way strange or unusual that a person has never been abroad. Maybe take a little time to understand and appreciate that your experiences are not universal, others live completely different lives.

It's easy to forget how daunting it can sound to go 'abroad" and deal with airports, customs and so on when you have never done it, and even worst when you have children in tow.

Some people get overwhelmed at the idea of London tube or New York subway, others take them every day. Some people don't understand how can anyone live in London "terrorist attacks! Murders! Rapists! Gangs! Knife crime!" Londoners just live their day-to-day life.

Having a different life doesn't give you any more or less value.

I don't think I know anyone who's never been outside the UK and, tbh, would find it strange.

However, some of my family in Perth, Australia, have never been outside Western Australia, let alone gone abroad. It's the most isolated city in the world and air travel is apparently very expensive. Plus they have the weather & the beaches so maybe feel less need.

I was 32 before I had been on a plane we went to Florida I was first abroad at 28 we took the ferry to France. Not everybody can affordor have the inclination to fly.

Most people who say they are scared of flying, aren't. They're scared of the plane crashing

Not necessarily, I've read several stories recently about people taking bad on planes and dying. DVT, stroke, heart attack, it would scare to take bad and die in front of my DS... I just don't like the whole thing and the pressure and the feeling trapped...

Environmentally very sound! not shocking at all.

Planes are gross anyway. I spend a fair chunk of my life on the Tube, which is also gross!

Airports are gross. Probably a lot worse now than the last time I was in one.

When I retire, I hope to leave London, have a small house and mahousive garden and stay as local as possible and spend lots of time tending said garden. the poster who said they have rellies in Perth who don't leave - I don't blame them.

I've heard it said that half of Americans don't have passports, not surprised, would take them several lifetimes to explore their own country.

I didn't want to pay to renew my passport but following the Windrush scandal I thought I better do it - seems like all official papers are a good idea if you're not white.

oh, and is it now the norm to ask for a passport as proof of eligibility to work in the UK? if that's true, it's very unfair if someone doesn't want one and has to fork out for that.

no idea if it's true but a friend in HR told me that was another reason to renew my passport.