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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Never been abroad or on a plane at age 35!

229 replies

SalemShadow · 10/06/2019 20:55

There was a woman on dinner date yest. She is 35, never been abroad or on on an aeroplane. She was telling her date he will have to take her on a holiday. Aibu to be completely shocked? I couldn't believe it. Seems a sheltered existence

OP posts:
Asta19 · 11/06/2019 00:37

I was unusual in that my mum was from another European country and I used to go and spend all summer there every year with my GPs. so I was flying from the age of 2, this was in the early 70s so a lot less common then. I know it cost my GPs a lot in flights, whereas nowadays I sometimes go to see other relatives there for just a weekend (GPs passed away some years ago). I had an ex who had no interest in going on holiday, in the UK or abroad, and it’s one of the main reasons we broke up. I love travelling, and no I’ve never been to a beach resort in my life! I genuinely do like seeing other cultures and places. I don’t judge people who don’t feel the same but I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone that didn’t want to travel.

mouldyhousemouldylife · 11/06/2019 00:52

I don't see how missing out on a cheap package holiday in Magaluf means having a sheltered existence

This example wasn't even in the OP not sure why you're acting like it's the only option when the options are, I don't know, the rest of the world?

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 11/06/2019 01:18

I can imagine most people who haven't travelled abroad probably haven't due to poverty (money and time poor) and fear of flying. Seems shitty to be sneary at that.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 11/06/2019 02:55

""I think you need to travel and experience different cultures""

I know plenty of people who travel and never experience a thing outside their guide book or the people they meet from the same country as them. Tons of people just tick countries off their list without doing anything there.

Do you NEED to travel? What happens if you don't? Our grandparents' generation basically never travelled, do you think they were somehow worse people because of it?

DesperadoDan · 11/06/2019 04:56

I’m 43 and have never been on a plane.
My DM has a phobia about flying so childhood holidays were always in Devon or Cornwall.
I have never felt the urge to travel, it certainly doesn’t mean I’ve led a sheltered life. I’ve turned down holidays with friends and a couple of partners over the years.
I suppose it could be what you’ve never had you don’t miss.

soulrunner · 11/06/2019 05:25

Our grandparents' generation basically never travelled, do you think they were somehow worse people because of it?

My grandad was in N Africa in the 2ww. He never went on holiday overseas because ‘I went abroad in the war and I didn’t think much of it’ Grin

MorondelaFrontera · 11/06/2019 07:14

This example wasn't even in the OP not sure why you're acting like it's the only option when the options are, I don't know, the rest of the world?

because that's the option chosen by many people! Can't you recognise that some "tourists" have never left their package holiday hotel or holiday "town" even eating the same crap they eat at home?

No one is saying it's the only option, but it's ridiculous to pretend that everyone who steps on an international plane will experience "culture"

MorondelaFrontera · 11/06/2019 07:16

Our grandparents' generation basically never travelled

How old are your grand-parents! There were plenty of travel for mine and the generations before them. What they didn't have is RyanAir or Thomas Cook package holidays. They just travelled differently.

UnicornBrexit · 11/06/2019 07:17

I never quite understand why these threads are AIBU. It's just slagging off someone else's life experiences. Smuggery at its worst.

UnicornBrexit · 11/06/2019 07:21

Our grandparents' generation basically never travelled

If my GPs were alive they'd be in their 120's! And they were very well travelled, all 4 of them, all over the world. Granted they didn't do package holidays to Maj-orka-ah etc but they did travel extensively with a widely flung family through the Empire Commonwealth - Canada, NZ, Australia, all across Africa, India etc. They also travelled with work throughout North and South America

lucymegan · 11/06/2019 07:31

I'm 35 and have never been abroad, my parents haven't either. It doesn't appeal to me in the slightest and tbh we'd never afford it anyway. The furthest I've been is Cornwall.

Parky04 · 11/06/2019 07:33

Each to their own. In my opinion, going to an all inclusive in Benidorm is my idea of hell, but appreciate a lot of people like it. There are an awful lot of places to discover in the UK so why the need to go abroad?

Fyette · 11/06/2019 07:34

My granny has never been abroad, or been on a plane, and the mere thought horrifies her. Grin

I'm a traveller, though. I have lived in six different countries on three different continents, speak four languages fluently and can get around in a couple more. I have a harder time relating to people my own age who have chosen never to go abroad or immerse themselves in different cultures (or indeed those who only go on package holidays to British hotels).

On the other hand, some incredibly shallow people travel often, and some great and openminded folks do not - whether because there is no money, they have different priorities, or there are other obstacles. Especially now we are all so connected because of the internet, you do not have to leave the country to encounter people from all walks of life and corners of the earth. I do judge people who simply don't care to look further than their own backyard and have no interest in anything happening beyond our borders, but you do not need to travel to do that.

Treaclepie19 · 11/06/2019 07:37

I'm 29 and I haven't.
I'm also sure when I do I will panic (fear of heights and open spaces)
Doesn't bother me too much tbh, I plan on a short flight in the future just so my son gets to travel.

FrenchyQ · 11/06/2019 07:38

I was 38 the first time I flew/ went abroad. Always did UK holidays when growing up (mum and dad have never had passports). And then couldn't afford to go abroad when I left home

Gth1234 · 11/06/2019 11:48

The thing about going abroad, it's all a bit Dr Johnson. (apropos the Giant's Causeway, but it's all the same)

Worth seeing, yes; but not worth going to see.

InglouriousBasterd · 11/06/2019 11:56

I usually find it much cheaper to travel abroad than the UK tbh. A week in Cornwall in the summer holidays is ridiculously expensive. Even trains in the UK are more expensive than flights abroad - a train back to my home town from London (2 hours) costs around £100 if not booked well in advance; a flight to Europe will set me back around £50-80. I think it’s sad when people don’t travel - I’ve learnt so much from different places and cultures - but each to their own. I know people who hate it.

RosaWaiting · 11/06/2019 12:06

Gth1234 "Worth seeing, yes; but not worth going to see."

thanks, I've not heard that expression before. I really dislike the practicalities of travel as well.

I'm also curious what people feel they learned from short stays - one person mentioned the affordability of going to France for a day. I wonder what you learn on that kind of trip.

again, not a criticism. I love art, for example. Some people have no interest whatsoever. That's fine. It just makes us different. It feels as if there's a few posters on here who can't get their head round it.

I wonder if OP will return.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 11/06/2019 12:12

Hilarious that people think people in our grandparents' generation all had the money to travel.

Besides the war, not one of my grandparents ever left the country and that is certainly the norm among my friends.

How the other half lives...

InglouriousBasterd · 11/06/2019 12:13

I went to France for a day as a teenager Rosa - war graves and battlefields. Totally unforgettable

Lifeover · 11/06/2019 12:13

I'm more shocked that she was expecting somone else to take her abroad if she wanted to go do it herself if she couldn't afford it don't expect other people to subsidise your life. Sounds like she wants someone to carry her through life

I always loved travelling - limit these days because of carbon footprint, but equally some people quite happy in the UK. Just because one person enjoys something doesn't necessarily mean everyone has to.

2eternities · 11/06/2019 12:15

MIL is in her 60s and has never left the country, doesn't seem to bother her she says what you've never had you don't miss. Some people are never in the position to afford going abroad.

RosaWaiting · 11/06/2019 12:31

Basterd that's one trip I did as a teen and it was totally worth doing, even for me Grin

re grandparents, mine never went abroad either. I'm fairly sure it was partly money related but 3 of them were dead before I was born so I don't know. I have a cousin in my parents' country of origin, she never travels either and people ask her about it all the time too - mostly "don't you want to visit your rellies in London". She can afford it, has done well for herself but can't face the practicalities of travel, don't blame her.

MorondelaFrontera · 11/06/2019 12:42

Hilarious that people think people in our grandparents' generation all had the money to travel.

what's so hilarious? You can't say that our grand-parents generation NEVER travelled neither can you say that everybody does nowadays.
People have different income and priorities, that's hardly news.

You can't say that holidaying abroad was unheard of even between the 2 wars or before the 1st one. It's simply not true.

PhossyJaw · 11/06/2019 12:50

Hilarious that people think people in our grandparents' generation all had the money to travel.

What's hilarious is the assumption that travel was a leisure pursuit. Poor people have always travelled for economic reasons. My grandparents (not from the UK) were economic migrants to the UK and US. Whole families followed one another to another country, one person sending on the fare to a sibling or cousin, or in some cases, like my maternal grandfather, spent the best part of 20 years in London, sending his pay home to keep his children.

But I think white English people don't get this.