To be sick of people moaning about our wedding!

[Darksideofthemoon19]

We are getting married in 4 weeks. Originally we had planned a big reception last year for this weekend. We had hired a hall etc. But people started commenting on “are you having a free bar, we don’t like that music” etc etc so we decided to cancel it all.
We have now decided to have a small garden party with just our closest friends. This is my second marriage so my family came to my first one. My dad has been absolutely fine with it and has gave me his blessing.

My sister who I rarely speak too or see and who doesn’t even seem to like me messaged me saying how she thinks it’s wrong “that your re inviting friends you’ve known 5 years but not me”. She makes me feel so negative and depressed when I’m around her, she constantly puts me down etc.

We also haven’t invited any of Dps family. He has a split family with his dad living in another country, his grandma living hours away etc. His mum also doesn’t even want to come to the wedding!

His grandma texted me asking how we were, I said just abit stressed about the wedding but it’s coming together, she replied that because we aren’t having family there we are on our own and that they won’t be getting us a card etc. Completely understand this but I’m so so sick of being made to feel shit about it.

I understand that they want to be there, but only last month she told us how happy she is that we are just getting married and getting it done!

I’m so fed up. I knew this was a risk but I thought people could be happy for us. Why would people who can’t even message or see us very rarely even want to be there?! Our friends have been there throughout everything.

His grandma texted me asking how we were, I said just abit stressed about the wedding

This is spectacularly tactless. You have let her know that you are having a party but that for some reason she is not worthy to attend and you expect her sympathy with your party preparations.

Originally we had planned a big reception last year for this weekend. We had hired a hall etc. But people started commenting on “are you having a free bar, we don’t like that music” etc etc so we decided to cancel it all.

Are you saying you had actually invited people and are now telling them they can't come because some guests (presumably not every single one uninvited) complained. That is spectacularly rude.

@Applepieco yes and it's become very confusing

I probably wouldn't even have told them about it.
That way they couldn't complain and afterwards just say you had a quiet one.
How do they know all about it if you are mostly nc

This is why I'm getting married abroad, if we invited MIL then BIL's & families wouldn't have come, It was just shit having to pick and choose so we have booked it just for the two of us and our two children in Cyprus, nice family holiday, wedding and honeymoon in one. No one knows about it, and won't until afterwards but I'm expecting the shit to hit the fan when they do find out.
Ofcorse people are going to be upset when they don't get invited, I think you will just have to suck it up unfortunately!

If you're rarely in contact then it doesn't matter does it?
You've chosen your path now so crack on and ignore.
I admit to only reading first few posts btw in case I've missed anything.
Someone always gets upset over a wedding! But don't let it be you when it's yours!

I'm happy for you.

I heard through my grandparents my mother would kill her self if I didn't invite her. Why would I ask her since I'd not seen her for ten years, she abandoned me as a baby and had played no good part in my life ? Blood does not mean rights for a wedding invitation.

Decide what you really want. Those making noises challenge them. A sister who is morning that isn't invited? I'd ask her why she thinks she should be when she clearly doesn't like you etc.

Mother still alive

You should have just gone abroad. You’ve excluded family-as is your right, of course-you can’t expect them to be delighted about it. Had you gone abroad or just organised a registry office do, you’d be sorted.

The two threads in one is really confusing. Can people just stick to the current thread topic and not derail?

Haven't RTFT only the OP's posts, but, OP, didn't you expect people like family members to moan if they're not invited?
Especially if they've got form for being difficult.

Inviting your fiancés family, who you seem to want there, and not your toxic sister would have been the best thing. It's like saying I'm not going to do something because Christine will bully me. Don't give into bullying.