Hi wise ones, please help me! To cut a long story short my SIL is a little older than me in her early forties, not in a relationship, and no kids. She's bossy, arrogant, opinionated and always makes me feel like shit. No filter or respect for me being her brother's wife, even though she wouldn't dare talk to the other SIL the way she talks to me. She corrects my grammar, tells me what to say and not to say, and then I thought, oh well she'll get better when we have kids because she wouldn't dare correct my parenting. I have had a difficult time telling my husband for the last seven years how she makes me feel and he basically always excuses her and never has my back. ONCE he picked her up on something. Never again. He always finds an excuse.
Yesterday she said really aggressively I do hope you aren't giving him too much fruit juice. I said, excuse me? I was so shocked. She goes on about it being the leading cause of hospital admissions. My husband starts rambling about how it's ok because we use a straw and I'm like WTF this was your chance to tell her to STFU as we are not idiots and we have it covered thanks, and so I tell him how out of order it was in the car on the way home and then I'm told his family is off limits and then we had a huge row and I called her an interfering bit*h. I think that's pretty good going once in seven years. I am his family but feel like the lowest level on the pecking order because he will NEVER correct her. So he said ok, I'll call her and tell her what she said was out of order. But then it'll get back to the MIL, the BILs and I'll be the horrible person, so guess what, I told him not to bother because of how hard it will be for HIM. So she still is free to carry on. I hate her with my every ounce of energy and live in fear that when my MIL dies, we will inherit this miserable, opinionated arrogant woman to come and ruin our Christmas and Easter and children's birthdays, She makes me feel like shit CONSTANTLY. It rips me apart and despite having a fairly good chat to clear the air for a few hours last night, the upshot is husband still thinks I should just 'challenge her respectfully' next time she does something but I know even the smack down I gave her yesterday - well you don't have a toddler so all this theoretical parenting is easy isn't it - won't be enough to stop her because she has no respect for me. My mum hates her, my friends hate her, I just can't handle it. I don't even know what I want here, there's no answer, I just cannot deal with it.