To wish that a Stranger would give me unsolicited advice

[Jemima232]

Having read a lot of threads this morning about HVs, retired dentists and Random Strangers giving unwanted advice about fizzy drinks, I am devastated that this has never happened to me.

Why have I been Left Out?

Jemima, be sure to use your phone if you get Lost in London and if you get unsolicited advice from a random young man, tell him from me that he's a knob.

@MyFamilyAndOtherAnimals1

Well, not only was that unwanted advice, it was also wrong.

My doctor frequently tells me that I'd be a lot thinner and fitter if I walked occasionally, never mind five mile runs.

She doesn't drink Diet Coke, though.

@Jemima323
Your husband sounds like a right doofus. If I were you I would pack his worldly goods into the aforementioned suitcase, throw it and him through the door, change the locks, log it with the police and seek a solicitor for 30 minutes of free advice on a divorce.

( your sister took 3 nuts on the train with her? Did she ask the carers permission or were they her former pupils? )

@CreakingKnees

I may have to retain my DH as he takes the bins out, thus saving me from endless drudgery.

I wear my hair in a pony most days, on a Friday (dress down Friday) I leave hair loose! A lady who catches my bus has noticed this and told me my hair should be up on Friday's too as it makes my face look thinner!

@cheesewtheverything

I was born in London so I do not have to rely on random young men, or my phone, to find my way about.

If they dared to give me advice about anything I would certainly tell them that they were a knob, making certain that I had used this opprobrious epithet on your advice.

I would also give them your address.

@Iputthescrewinthetuna

Obviously everyone needs to have a thinner face on a Friday.

You really should know that - if you need advice about face shapes on weekdays, I advise you to start a thread.

I may have to start a new thread! What do I do this Friday? Wear it up so she thinks I have listened to her or keep it down to stick my fingers up at her! Oh the dilemma...

He needs retraining, not retaining @Jemima323.
Maybe we ought to start up a husband training school. A bit like a dog training school type of thing. You can be Barbara Woodhouse. I think you would do well. 🐕

I would wear it down and stick my fingers in her eye @ IPutTheScrewInTheTuna.
How dare she poke her snout into your hair affair.

Can I advise you lot to stop making me laugh? Everyone on the train has been giving me strange looks. Or maybe they just look strange because they forgot to wear their hair up? It's not even Friday dammit.

Wear it down, Iputthescrewinthetuna, and give her a friendly wave. You don't have to do this using all of your fingers, obviously.

@Jemima232 I don't know why it irritated me so much! Normally I love exchanging a few words with a stranger.

... though it may be something to do with he looked like a classic middle-class twazzuc who likes to show off about his day on the golf course and also his most recent lycra-clad cycle-ride yuck! (... though I do realise that this is pure speculation).

I must say that I was very pleased with the fact that I had managed to haul/drag my way around a multi-mile run on that day. Saying that... I'm not convinced that it's the healthiest thing to do - I think walking regularly is much more beneficial than a random long run once a week. ...but I don't really care.

and as I don't care about medical advice, I'm just off to grab a nice frosty diet coke. Yum.

@MyFamilyAndOtherAnimals1

You were accosted by a MAMIL?

I am so sorry.

You need to start a thread.

Vio12, I hope you are not in the quiet carriage. If you are, I strongly advise you to only mime laughter. Your fellow passengers can thank you later.

Moved on to the bus... Just been given advice from a guy about where to get diverted bus, in totally the wrong place and wrong time. Ignored his advice and got on the bus somewhere else. He got on the same bus a stop later! So there are a couple of options here. 1) He didn't like my resting bitch face and decided to try and subvert my bus catching in order to avoid me or 2) he realised his error and decided to shame facedly catch said bus in sympathy.

@Vio112

Or he's also reading this thread and wanted to be mentioned.

Tbf he did look like a typical mumsnetter. Bald guy in his fifties with a beer gut. He probably writes threads about inconvenient parking and has a couple of brats called balonz.

@Vio112

Yes. Threads about parking (with diagrams) and threads about weddings (with inappropriate angst) not to mention threads about toilet brushes (hopefully without diagrams.)

Surely both his brats cannot be called Balonz?

According to my mum DS2 (aged 6) took it upon himself to offer unsolicited 'advice' about the evils of smoking to a complete stranger outside Waitrose recently.

🤣I think that's impressive, MyGast! You have a future Chief Medical Officer on your hands.

AIBU to post a picture of McVicar

@jemima well that would be bloody typical if they were both called Balonz wouldn't it.

@Vio112

Absolutely bloody typical of a chav, yes.

But are you sure he is a chav?

@Vio112

Absolutely bloody typical of a chav, yes.

But are you sure he is a chav?