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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that a Stranger would give me unsolicited advice

254 replies

Jemima232 · 08/06/2019 12:02

Having read a lot of threads this morning about HVs, retired dentists and Random Strangers giving unwanted advice about fizzy drinks, I am devastated that this has never happened to me.

Why have I been Left Out?

OP posts:
CreakingKnees · 10/06/2019 13:07

Whispers to @MrsArabin. It's ok @Jemima323 is just a busybody who likes to follow people to give them good advice. Just stay quiet and she will go and shout at a pigeon or something.

Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 13:07

In fact, now I come to think of it, two of my sisters commented adversely on the size of my suitcase as they both have too much fucking time on their hands as they were concerned that I might not be able to transport it safely.

I ought to start a thread about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 13:08
OP posts:
BuildBuildings · 10/06/2019 13:09

Just this morning in the gym this girl gave me unwanted and unsolicited advice about what exercise to do for weight loss. She said she used to be 22 stone. (looked a size 12 now) so well done her. But that's got fuck all to do with me and what I'm doing in the gym. I did feel offended but then I chose to think about how she should be embarrassed for being so lacking in self awareness. So then moved on with my day.
But actually this is a rare occasion this has happened.

MsTSwift · 10/06/2019 13:11

When I was mid twenties a woman my age now mid 40s gave me brilliant advice which I took “dump him (points at my ex) and move to London” did both and have a much happier life now than I would have otherwise

CreakingKnees · 10/06/2019 13:14

Waits with bated breath for @Jemima323 new thread.
Meanwhile, size can matter, it depends on how you handle it.

The suitcase that is.

Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 13:32

@CreakingKnees

We all went to a funeral. Sister 1 met me at Perth Station (and that's a thread in itself as she was in First Class the smarmy cow as she has a much bigger income than me) and as we were only going to be in Inverness for one night she asked me why my case was so large.

Like my sartorial choices were any of her business.

Got to Inverness (having suffered the embarrassment of Sister 1 paying to upgrade my low-income 2nd Class ticket) and met up with Sister 2.

Sister 2 had flown up (which again is another thread, as any good MNer knows it is bad for the environment to fly anywhere) and the first thing she said was "That's a ridiculously large suitcase for an overnight stay."

She had her toothbrush and clean knickers (not Spanx as she is thin the bitch) in a carrier bag.

I, however, had chosen to go to our aunt's funeral in a new outfit. I had also just bought the new suitcase so naturally I packed everything in it.

Who goes to a funeral in the outfit they travelled up in anyway?

Who was being unreasonable here? Huh? Answer me that, CreakingKnees if you can spare some time out of your busy day.

OP posts:
SingingLily · 10/06/2019 13:38

When I was mid twenties a woman my age now mid 40s gave me brilliant advice which I took “dump him (points at my ex) and move to London” did both and have a much happier life now than I would have otherwise.

And that was from his own mother, MrsTSwift! I'd say you dodged a bullet there.

Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 13:42

@MrsTSwift

I hope you also avoided wearing short skirts, as everyone knows this can lead to fibroids in later life.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 13:45

And also, all of you, do remember to disregard any advice given to you about carrots, purses and prison kitchens.

It may be well-intentioned but you could end up in a very embarrassing situation indeed.

You may even feel the need to start threads on MN about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 13:47

I would also strongly advise all of you who have received unwanted advice about babies' headgear not to have babies in the first place

OP posts:
MrsArabin · 10/06/2019 13:51

I may not post again as I am now preparing to go to Glasgow to start my new hobby of critically observing the luggage of people I don't know.

@CreakingKnees I am obviously not taking any notice of your unsolicited advice to ignore @Jemima323 but I'm grateful you took the trouble to give it.

Am I doing this right? Confused

PaneerOfEvil · 10/06/2019 13:51

Firstly OP, why did you go to a funeral? You should be NC with all relatives. Secondly it’s an invitation, not a summons.

I think your sisters are right about your suitcase. You probably took up all the space on the luggage rack. Did you even think about your fellow passengers?

SingingLily · 10/06/2019 13:52

Jemima, I've been thinking about yours and ToTheLetterOfTheLawTHELETTER's dentist. It's all oddly familiar but I've only just worked out why.

My dentist has a moustache, keeps nagging on about sugary drinks, and I'm fairly sure has a membership card for Watership Down. However, I really don't think it's the same dentist. For one thing, she still sees NHS patients.

As you were, then.

TheGrapefulDread · 10/06/2019 14:30

Please could you take your sisters and do a double birl clutching a Tunnocks teacake, an Urn Bru and an Oor Wullie annual in front of the George Square webcam so I can appreciate you over large suitcase from the comfort of Cornwall. Explain nothing to them.

TheGrapefulDread · 10/06/2019 14:31
  • your
Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 14:32

@PaneerOfEvil

I happened to be travelling First Class as my stupid sister will not mix with the hoi polloi

Therefore my suitcase did not take up a disproportionate amount of room, although my sisters snacks and crossword puzzle books certainly did. (It's a wonder she doesn't reserve an entire compartment, far less go First Class.)

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 14:35

@TheGrapefulDead

I will take your advice.

Standing in George Square with obviously-Scottish artefacts and an over-large suitcase may get us into trouble with the polis, though.

I assume you're a solicitor as you live in Cornwall. You can whiz up to Gleska and get us out of jug (although for all I care my sisters can stay there till hell freezes over.)

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 14:37

Oh, and I always "explain nothing" to my sisters.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 10/06/2019 14:41

@SingingLily

The dentist in question was Greek, if that will help to narrow things down.

So.……...a lustful, Greek dentist with a moustache and a taste for seeing other women (and stupidly taking them to the same film, BTW.)

Anyone else recognise this dentist? Anyone else had a shagathon with him?

I can give you plenty of advice.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/06/2019 14:54

I usually get advised by older ladies to put my purse somewhere safe...

OP you really should start giving back to the community and offering unsolicited advice. It's selfish to expect to receive if you don't give.

SingingLily · 10/06/2019 15:05

Ah, mine is Bulgarian so definitely not the same one then. I knew I was missing a vital clue 🤔

Years ago, I worked part-time behind the bar in a "naice" country pub where the landlord was very particular and insisted we serve drinks "for ladies" in a "ladies glass", i.e. one with a stem. A nervous young man once asked me for half a lager and half a cider. "Is one of those for a lady?" I asked, mindful of the house rules. "Yes", he said. So I prompted him further - "Which one?" I asked. He turned and pointed, "That one over there in the blue dress".

And I've lost count of the number of times men would ask for "A pint of bitter and a half of lager without lime". In the end, I'd assume my most innocent but gravely serious face and say, "I'm afraid we've just run out of lager without lime, but we have lager without blackcurrant if that would do instead". You wouldn't credit the number of times they'd hesitate and say, "Oh, I'd better go and check first".

I think I may have ruined many a first date with my well-meant but unsolicited advice 😔

PaneerOfEvil · 10/06/2019 15:13

OP I would advise you to advise your sister to travel in the guards van. Has she always been this selfish?

CreakingKnees · 10/06/2019 15:18

Right. I am returned from real life.
I think your sister was BU if she turned up with her spare knickers and toothbrush in an Asda carrier bag. I mean a waitrose bag is quite acceptable really as not does it only show class but they also give you 5p back for it.
Besides, who on earth would enter a first class rail carriage with a carrier of any less than a waitrose?? No wonder ticket inspectors turn into aggressive Mr Shouty's! it would give St Peter himself the vapours!
In relation to your own suitcase, well it depends on if it had 2 wheels, 4 wheels, the colour and how many stickers attached to it of previous places visited. I mean if it is a plain black 2 wheeled affair from Sports Direct and you're in 1st class then the Inspector would be well within his rights to fly into a rage, beat you round the head with his ticket machine and throw you off the train there and then.
One simply cannot lower the standard of 1st class travel.

CreakingKnees · 10/06/2019 15:20

@Jemima323.
Sorry, but i was so flustered at the thought of travelling first class without the appropiate luggage that i forgot to include your name.