To wish that a Stranger would give me unsolicited advice

[Jemima232]

Having read a lot of threads this morning about HVs, retired dentists and Random Strangers giving unwanted advice about fizzy drinks, I am devastated that this has never happened to me.

Why have I been Left Out?

My dog escaped from the garden into the street once, and ran 2 blocks at full speed, crossing a couple of roads and up a damn hill. I ran after him, calling and shouting, eventually caught him after 2 blocks. An old man was looking out of his door, and said "that dog should be on a lead". This was 10 years ago, and I still dream about smashing his windows

Not from a stranger, but my MIL once told me that I should teach my (then) baby how to climb off the dining table, because if she ever got up there herself she'd know how to get down.

OstrichRunning, I think your MIL should invent a device that prevents babies from climbing onto dining tables and patent it before someone pinches her idea and makes a fortune from it. Parents of young babies everywhere are crying out for this sort of child-friendly accident prevention device to put on their "must have" list. Just my humble advice.

@Nickpan That made me laugh!

Was the dog called Fenton?

@SingingLily

My previous advice regarding babies' headgear and the unwanted advice given to many PPs is equally valid here.

Do not have babies

Full. Stop.

And do not, under any circumstances, have dogs within your family circle

It is just asking for trouble IMHO.

Do not have babies

On reflection, Jemima, this is good all-purpose advice that pretty much covers any possible situation and if we all adopted it, all and any problems requiring unsolicited advice would be solved within a generation! You are nothing short of genius. I'm pretty sure there's a drawback though...

@CreakingKnees

Thank you for validating me. I thought all along that my sister was BU.

Who needs seven (large) crossword puzzle books on a journey from London (Euston) to Inverness (via Perth)?

Only a retired English teacher.

As it happens, my sister is a retired English teacher.

This still does not explain why she found it necessary to weigh herself and the train down with nine different cupcakes, three packets of assorted nuts a cream bun and a packet of YoYos.

First Class passengers are generally entitled to free beverages. My sister, despite her husband's large income, went to the Lowly Persons Snack'N' Drinkery on board the train and got herself several large G & Ts.

I was shocked.

@SingingLily

There is a huge drawback in my advice to PPs not to have babies.

I happen to be a midwife.

My Luggage Collection

See For Yourselves. No Expense Spared.

£59 the lot.

Haven't RTFT but I was in Zara last week in a long queue.

Picked up a pair of earrings from the stand at the checkout and the lady behind me commented on my 'spur of the moment buy'.

I said, 'oh a little something to cheer myself up' -

She replied - 'I don't think you need cheering up' - how the hell does she know???!!!!

@HowDidItEndUpLikeThis

Of course she knew.

Random Strangers always know better than everyone else.

I managed a small shop alone for some years and usually had a can of diet coke on my desk or behind the counter. I had 7 years worth of daily comments. People were truly horrified that I could manage that nature of shop and drink DC. (it was a 'new age' type shop so kind of self care theme, eg relaxing cds, essential oils etc). For the record I don't drink hot drinks and rarely alcohol. It's my one vice. Personally..I think it's neither good or bad for me (yes yes, I know all the tests on pilots, rats etc). I've never noticed any difference when I have given it up.
Anyway, not a day went past without an exclamation from someone. One customer who was friends with the shop's owner, requested that I never gave her small daughter a sip of my can!!! I was told I was a bad representative for the shop etc.
I think it would have been more acceptable to have been shooting up on the shop floor.
I should say that my doctor always has an open can on her desk when I see her.

I happen to be a midwife

This is the problem with solutions, Jemima. They have so many unintended consequences. Only last year, two members of a religious group knocked at my door carrying clipboards and purporting to be carrying out a survey on crime. I love surveys on crime and never miss an opportunity to offer my views. The survey started well - did I think the crime rate was increasing or decreasing? "Oh, increasing, definitely" I said with absolute confidence. Solemnly, they ticked the first box on their survey forms. The next question was did I think crime would continue to increase or would it start to drop. Feeling even more confident now, I said "Increase, for sure". Another tick. This, I thought, was going well.

Then came the pitch they'd been building up to. Fixing me with their most earnest expressions, they said, "Wouldn't you like to live in a world without crime?" And gazed at me hopefully.

I struggled, Jemima, I really did, but I felt they deserved nothing less than honesty.

"Not especially", I said, "People always say 'crime doesn't pay' but actually, I've made a pretty good living out of it for years".

To my amazement, they scarpered, sharpish.

Did I mention I'm a prison governor?

my doctor always has an open can on her desk when I see her.

Alltoomuchrightnow, this is disgraceful! I'd always been told that the definition of an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than their doctor. Report her to the GMC for letting the side down!

I was wandering around a random back street in London, studying Google maps on my phone as I was lost. I'm often lost because I don't know my way round London at all. A young man approached me and advised me to put my phone away somewhere safe as there were some thieves in the area. I did as he advised, but then was very very lost for a long time. I felt he should have offered to direct me to where I was going rather than just cutting off my only means of escape like that, so although he was correct in his advice, I also felt it was lacking in many ways. He just gave his advice and disappeared, which I felt was inadequate all round.

Or just give her some unsolicited advice.

@chessewitheverything

Clearly he was also Lost In London, because he failed to use his phone in order to find his way about.

There's giving advice and being a complete knob.

DH has just given me some unwanted advice (Stop posting on that fucking website whatever it's called ShitMums whatever I don't care the onions are frying are you going to make the dinner or what)

I may have to start an AIBU about his greedy and controlling behaviour.

Huh.

Now he wants to know which fucking suitcase I want out of the cupboard for my epic trip to London (via Glasgow) tomorrow.

Went for a 5 mile run. Finished said run.
Afterwards, whilst I was walking back to the house, - a man (who was walking in the opposite direction accompanied by 3 women) loudly told me 'you won't get fit like that'.

I'm normally a jokey person, but this pissed me off.

Isn't the whole point of having a DH that they get the right suitcase out without wives having to instruct them?