I have been reported to SS

[mooning123]

I have a DS with ASD and LDs. he is 10 but cognitively much younger well.

anyhow, we went out the other day and whilst I was getting something from the house and DS was waiting outside for a minute, a lady living down the street and her 7 yo DD pass by. for whatever reason, DS dropped his trousers to show his bum to them. he has never done anything before.

Said lady is also a HV and when she passed by today and saw me outside told me, she would (or already has) reported us to social services over safeguarding concerns re DS as he mooned at them and I am clearly unable to keep him safe.

DS is very well looked after. But with a child with SN, sometimes, you take your eyes off them for a moment or two (generally speaking, DS is always with an adult).

I am terrified what will now happen? anybody any insight?

DesperadoDan

I am going to ignore you before I am less than courteous.

As a member of the general public I would be pretty cross if a five foot dc ( not much shorter than me) flashed his bum deliberately at my dd.
As a CP social worker I would think that is was unsafe behavior on his part that could get him into difficulties particularly if it went on into teenage years.
I would check OP and school were aware of issues and working on them as best they could. Then shut the case.
Professionals have increasing expectations around reporting all incidents they observe.

And I hope dreich you would have sufficient good manners to treat the family with respect. That sadly was not my experience when a bunch of ill trained, ill mannered, judgemental idiots reported me.

It sounds tough but you said he was cognitively ‘much younger’ than 10. If so, she may not be unreasonable as I wouldn’t leave my 6 year old standing outside alone for two minutes.....he’s 6 and although I’m almost certain he wouldn’t run into the road, talk to a stranger etc, I’m not absolutely certain. How much is ‘much younger’ - if he is at the mental level of a 5 year old, that doesn’t sound safe??

A referral to SS might not be a bad thing...after reading what you've said about feeling a bit overwhelmed by the caring role....this might be a really good opportunity to get some help. SS are not monsters. They have a statutory duty to help you. If you find that they are unhelpful when they come out to see you (if you even get a visit in the first place) look up your local carer's resource centre. It's really important that you get some good and supportive advice. I wish you all the best for the future and I'm sorry that this HV has made you feel uncomfortable and scared.

'opalescent do you not see that it was a massive waste of finite resources?'

Absolutely 100% no.

Nothing has even happened yet 🙄. Somebody has seen something related to a child, and felt worried. They have reported it to SS, for them to have a look at the situation.

They have then made the parent aware of their actions.

That's the right thing to do.

Whether or not there actually is a concern, is irrelevant at this point. In order to prevent future child protection cases being missed, people need to have the confidence to report things that don't seem okay.

As a previous poster said, sometimes things can seem minor in isolation, but when out with other information, a different picture can emerge.

OP- I'm not suggesting at all that this is the case with you!!

It is also worth noting that there could be a referral with this sort of incident were there were more serious concerns. I have worked with DC who have had referrals for this type of behaviour at school when 5/6 and further investigations showed significant concerns. There is nothing to suggest this is the case in the OP's family but a mosaic of smaller concerns can build into a significantly concerning family. Unless they are all gathered together it isn't possible to always see this.

@rage

I can only speak for my team. We assess the whole family and then we write a plan of what we are going to do to support the family.

That can be referring on to CWAD, supporting the family in their EHCP application, applying for funding for support packages, signposting to parenting courses or applying for funding for counselling.

We are quite creative sometimes!

Our aim is to keep families out of SC and out of crisis. We don’t always succeed but we do try our best and we do care.

this is where HVs often infuriate me, such ignorance towards ASD and other neorological disorders in children,

And it could be worth noting dreich that the family concerned may be functional, kind, upstanding and high taxpayers to boot so it might be worth ensuring they are treated with the respect they deserve and the exceptional parenting they deliver acknowledged accordingly rather than behaving towards them using the lowest common denominator.

And it could be worth noting dreich that the family concerned may be functional, kind, upstanding and high taxpayers to boot so it might be worth ensuring they are treated with the respect they deserve and the exceptional parenting they deliver acknowledged accordingly rather than behaving towards them using the lowest common denominator.

Ooh high taxpayers to boot?

'I would be very inclined to contact her employer local trust area to report that she is using her position outside of work in an intimidating way' I actually agree with this, to an extent..... I don't think if she let's say worked in a different role she'd be assmug and self satisfied about such a hysterical overreaction to a child she is fully aware doesnt understand socially appropriate behaviour,... not understanding socially appropriate behaviour, I could understand is it was repeated incidents but it isn't.

staydazzling

Her employer would back her up 100% for reporting a concern like they told her to.

Yes, actually Hercule because it's us who fund this bloody mess that provides zero services when required to young people with mh issues. So when this bunch of right on lefties decide to question my care and report me to another bunch of right on lefties they can remember that and have a quiet think about who funds their chaotic, barely competent services. And when they deal with me they can be respectful and fucking polite as I have brought up my children to be.

OhTheRoses

Speechless, to be honest. You sound like you have rather a high opinion of you.👍

bunch of right on lefties

All families should be treated with respect. That is a completely separate to having a duty of care with regards to investigating concerns.
I have seen excellent parenting from penniless parents in refuges and appalling abuse in high earning families with their dc at private schools.
Money helps reduce the stresses which can lead to social care involvement but it doesn't make one a better parent.

I think her employer would look dimly upon this tbh. especially as she clearly knows his SEN.

staydazzling

Then she would be within her rights to raise a grievance. She was literally doing what her training tells her to do.

The most that will happen is a sw will come round, ask some questions and leave. As a disabled child he is entitled to a child in need assessment so if he has not had one you might one to ask for one.

Some people have a lot of problems coping with thinking about/ being around people with a learning disability and some of those people are on this thread. Ignore them.

roses I am part of a high tax family, we pay far more in tax than I ever got back in my salary as a social worker, does that mean I don't have to doff my cap to you?
I am also not left wing so can I actually be as supercilious to you as you are to people who are actually not focusing their lives around large incomes?

I think lots of professionals in children’s services are just bloody terrified so report and refer things that once they would not have and it sometimes has nothing to do with their increased safeguarding training. If they use their judgement and discretion then I’m sure not many of them would have acted in the way the one has here in this scenario. Isn’t that what safeguarding training is also about? Surely traumatising a potentially innocent family such could have serious safeguarding ramifications in terms of let’s say their non abusive primary carer’s mental health.

It’s part of a wider fear in society and an enormous pressure on everyone being sene to do the right thing. If this HV knew the OPs son had SEN then shouldn’t that have required a different approach initially? If she does know and still did this then actually it tells me that her safeguarding training isn’t working and she isn’t able to interrogate and extrapolate appropriate multi agency information.

The language and perception surrounding SS is so wrong too. If it really is the case that their last resort would be to remove a child -and hopefully to work with their family wherever possible and of course appropriate - then talking of reporting and referring automatically fills any parent with fear.

Surely traumatising a potentially innocent family such could have serious safeguarding ramifications in terms of let’s say their non abusive primary carer’s mental health.

But this shows a poor understanding of what safeguarding is about. It’s not about innocent or guilty. It’s about safety. If the OP’s son might be placing himself or others at risk through his actions, this requires a response. Nobody is saying it is abuse.

No lots of professionals refer because nearly every single serious case review where a child has died, has shown that lots of people knew a bit of a picture, but in many cases they did not refer because they used their "commonsense" and did not refer, because they saw it as a minor thing. But when all those bits of information that were not referred are put together, it was bloody clear that the child was in real danger.

Also gin a child having SEN makes them more vulnerable to being abused, not less. Too many times in the past, warning signs have been written off as due to SEN rather than being recognised as clear signs of abuse.