Dentist in tesco tackled me

[Spiceb]

Shopping with 3 year old yesterday. Stopped by the raisins. Old woman came up to me and said "excuse me but please don't buy them. They are terribly bad for teeth" I must have looked incredulous because her husband stepped in to say she was a dentist

Aibu to think go away and let me shop in peace? I'm a sensible grown adult who can make choices

"Teeth? Teeth? Why are you talking to me about teeth? He's got a raisin art project at nursery! We're off to get his snacking celery sticks later!"

Clearly YABU not to accept the advice of your elder and better especially as she was a dentist to boot

Yes, they are bad for teeth but you probably know that. Next time buy gobstoppers instead.

FFS what a nosy Parker.

My dc are now 11 & 8, have no cavaties and ate plenty of raisins.

I would have given them the "look"

Do they still sell raisins in those snack size packets, suitable for lunchboxes?

And actually, I think you have the right to say whatever you want as long as it's not illegal hate speech and people then have the right to ignore you or not.

I don't think OP was suggesting legal sanctions for the woman. There's no right to say whatever you want to whoever you want in any circumstance and never be thought a rude interfering bastard.

" There's no right to say whatever you want to whoever you want in any circumstance and never be thought a rude interfering bastard."

You might not care that the other person thinks you're a rude interfering bastard though. The OP might go away thinking that, but not give raisins to her child.

I made the rookie error once of putting my very unhealthy shopping on the belt without looking in front of me. It was my dentist.
He was buying enough booze to sink an elephant. Knowing looks were exchanged.

Whether she was right to give unsolicited advice or not, raisins are bad for the teeth and are a particular bear bug for our paediatric dentist. Lots of parents think they are a healthy snack, but unlike chocolate which slides off the teeth raisins get lodged between the teeth causing decay.

"I would have given them the "look" hmm"

Oo, I'm sure the lady would have been really scared!

'It has nothing to do with age, it’s about unsolicited advice.'

Yes. There are busy bodies everywhere it seems. I've no idea what would possess anyone to comment on someone else's shopping.

I then would have opened a little box with a flourish, handed it to my child. Then I would have opened one for myself, and emptied the contents in to my mouth.

Ooh, don't do that in Morrisons! My (female) partner got told off by a security bloke for opening a packet of mini pork pies and eating one as we were going round (we'd been to the gym and then she'd been to a hospital appointment and was chewing her own arm off having eaten nothing at all that day).

She said "I'm 63 and he's made me feel like I'm 6..."

Imagine the shock if you turned this innocuous looking little packet over in the lunchbox section to be confronted with a prominent 'Raisins rot teeth' message.

It could happen.

My kids had raisens in their lunchbox, not every day but regularly because 15 years ago, we parents were told they were a healthy alternative snacks. They both have excellent teeth.

I suppose it all comes down to the tone of voice. If it was a case of saying 'sorry I dont want to intrude and I might be out of line as these might not be for your child, but just in case you are not aware, even though raisins count as 1 of 5, they are not great for teeth at all. I'm a dentist and have seen more and more younger children coming with cavities with parents having no idea that raisins are bad, I just thought I'd bring it up but of course feel free to ignore me', It would come across as caring. As OP relayed the conversation, it sounded patronising.

If you saw a mum letting her child play on a railway track with a train bearing down on them, wouldn’t you shout to warn them? Or would that be “ interfering”?
Surely the dentist was trying to save the child from the damaging dental consequences of its mother’s ignorance/neglect in exactly the same way? What’s the difference, apart from the degree of harm?

junebirthday that's a generalisation. As I have got older I have learned that people don't welcome unsolicited advice and I tend to mind my own business more. There is a lot of ageism on MN. I didn't see it in the OP then I tried out "a black woman", " an Asian woman" "a fat man", See desription not needed. Someone approached me would suffice. I agree that the person was very nosy and irritating but referencing the age and gender was appealing to prejudice.

I love raisins ...

It's high time the government introduced state-sponsored trolley jeerers to patrol the aisles of our supermarkets to shame us all into making healthy choices!

I'm sorry but unless she was a dentist who had actually examined your DC's teeth she should keep her gob shut.

My D.C., aged 12, 9 and 7 have beautiful teeth. Their dentists have always remarked on how well cared for they are with no cavities.
They do eat sweets, fruit and we even give them (shock horror) a glass of fizzy pop with dinner! I don't need lecturing on what my kids eat because they're doing just fine thank you. Now if their teeth were showing signs that their glass of pop was harming them then sure. Do your job, dentist.

I would have put extra raisins in my trolley had someone been so rude as to approach a complete stranger with unsolicited interference.

Surely the dentist was trying to save the child from the damaging dental consequences of its mother’s ignorance/neglect in exactly the same way? What’s the difference, apart from the degree of harm?

Ignorance/neglect? Jesus fucking Christ. They're raisins not cyanide.

Good to see so many people taking on board the advice that raisins are bad for teeth. Thank you OP for this thread.

The lady was wrong to comment in a non clinical environment.

However the advice is correct. I'm a dentist too. Have a look at the back of a pack of raisins. You will see the sugar content as approximately 66%

66%.. That's massive. They are sticky so will get stuck in all the pits and fissures of teeth. Some of the companies actually add extra sugar to their raisins to counteract the tartness.

Chocolate melts away so ( whilst there is no nutritional value) is a safer bet when making a choice between the two.

Frequency is a key factor. Have ALL the "treat" at once directly after a meal, and brush soon after.

Oh I love these threads ... the dietary police come out in full force ...

I give DC raisins. Thank you for all your advice that they are bad for teeth (I do know this) and for suggesting cheese and chocolate as alternatives. My DC are allergic to dairy. Of course you don't know this fact, nor do you have any idea how often I give DC raisins. So just go away and keep your opinions to yourself. Like the lady who annoyed the OP.

It's all fine. Eat and drink whatever what you want, as much as you want, Smoke cigarettes. No problem. If you have rotten teeth, alcohol dependance/addiction, obesity, cancer and all the associated health related issues. No problem because "the government" (taxpayer) will pay for it all to be treated and absolve you of any responsibility.

So much drama! As if anyone would 'sweep them all off the shelves into their baskets'. Telling them to 'mind their own bloody business' etc. Just say 'oh ok, thanks' or just nod and smile and then GET ON WITH YOUR DAY. Everyone's different, some people like interaction, some don't. Just accept it and your lives will be happier 😊

I would not give this the head space. Some people are being a bit free with their opinions, but she was not offering her opinion on the terrible state on your teeth (as I assumed this would be when I clicked on the title) but giving what she regarded as helpful advice. It's irritating as it was unsolicited but I assume she wanted to comment as she sees raisins as marketed as healthy snacks to kids and she believes/know they are bad for teeth. Y'know like those posters in dentists telling you how much sugar fruit drinks and smoothies have and why they are bad for kids teeth.

I would try to see the good intent and move on with my day.

@DannyWallace what was this child preventing flavour? Maybe it could be a non invasive contraception. I know I would rather eat icecream than take pills, or have the mirena that I am having fitted this week ;)