To think some parents are far too over protective.

[ScottishJo31]

Hi all, I am fully prepared to get flamed for this I have 3 children aged 9, 5 and 1 ( all boys) my middle son is in reception and every week without fail there is a message on the class WhatsApp group which usually contains a photo regarding a child who has the odd scrape or bruise caused by general play or sometimes rough play, with accompanying statements such as I am heartbroken that my baby has got hurt by another child .. I trusted my baby in the schools care.. etc etc
The majority of these injuries are minor scuffs and the odd tiny bruise potentially "caused" by a child no older than 5 years old.
My sons class has a lot of children who do need to supervised carefully and monitored because they play fight and run around a lot at lunchtimes as most 5 years old do in my opinion!
My sons have always had the odd scratch and scrape and I never think to give them the third degree about it... yet some
Of the boys who have been a bit rough with my middle son are the very ones who have every minor bruise listed on these groups.
I appreciate parents do not want to see their children get hurt but to document every tiny mark seems excessive. I appreciate I may be in the minority about this but it seems a bit much- it's something I'm seeing more and more...!

commonly met up other dm in a& e with ds - we should have held coffee afternoons there! ds was severe asthmatic when young & nurse was pleased when she bumps & dents because she reckoned that was a sign of health!

Goodness me how things have changed!!! When my now 27 year old son was about 8 he got his fingers trapped in the class paper shredder with the help of a friend !!!! The fire brigade had to come out and the school sectretary wouldn’t tell us the problem over the phone . When we got to the school the ambulance service were also there !!! Outcome was his fingers were very flat but he was fine but never for one minute did I think of blaming his friend !!!! It’s just a blame culture now or people wanting their 5 minutes of attention !!!

@HaroldsSocalledBluetits Thats bollix.Its more to do with the fact tehy learn how to do/not do things on their own.

If somebody always steps in they will not learn that.And that might be fine in school bt in a work place/collage that just wont wash

YADNBU. Because of their parent's reactions, children see their injuries as far worse when they really are. Sure, small children are unpredictable in their reactions. They might scream at a drop of blood or they might insist on playing football with three broken limbs. The best you can do is help them gauge the appropriate reaction, not have a meltdown yourself.

Years ago I read a paper that said that children need to learn about consequences and danger in a safe way when they are young. Fall off the slide when mucking around, get bruises and a graze, learn it hurts, be less stupid next time, etc. However, children who are mollycoddled don't learn about danger and appropriate actions so do stupid things when they are older and unsupervised such as trespassing on railway lines.

I have the usual childhood scars but I also bruise very easily.

OP you have used the term ‘play fighting’. The problem with play fighting is that it is quite hard to tell when play fighting stops and real fighting starts, especially if you are am MTA and have to supervise many children over a large area.

I remember once waiting in the playground when DS was in about Y5 there were a couple of boys pretending to be stunt men fighting, throwing punches with no contact, but then one boy miss timed his punch and walloped the other one in the head. Immediate tears and blame, and no acceptance it could be an accident. Much easier in a school environment not to have those sort of games, as they can get out of hand.

I have 3 (nearly 4) boys. I suspect that these are the oldest children and the mums are still precious. My middle boy was managed out of his close friendship with the oldest child by said childs mum as she felt he was a bad influence. Her middle boy is very rambunctious and her "baby" has proven to be very capable of being 'rough' outside of his friendship with my boy. It's a learning curve that only happens through experience I think.

If you are "heartbroken" that your child scraped their knee at school then I think you thank god for blessing you with such an idyllic existence.

Had to take DS to A&E after he fell off a box at nursery and bumped his head. (He vomited later, which is why we had to stay a while..) The doctor checking him asked whether he's got any injuries and I told him that hes got a few bumps and bruises but that they are from running around and falling over. Doctor just went, "Well, I'd be worried if he came in without any of those." DS is 2 and attends the nursery attached to my school. We do lots of outdoor stuff and kids do get injured every so often. It isn't usually a problem for the parents. If it were, they'd send their kids to a different school.

I absolutely don't mind kids getting bruises (just as well with my ds!)

However I guess it also depends on what 'type' of game.

Rough and rumble is ok if they are playing superheroes and bump into each other during play rather than deliberately.

But I also don't think games like hitting with sticks, pushing and shoving etc should be allowed. I've seen kids playing superheroes kick others as part of the game - but that's not ok.

Still wouldn't post on the what's app group about individual bruises and bullies. But I guess a general "I understand they are playing xxxxxxx and a few kids are being hurt. Could everyone remind their child of sensible games".

I totally agree with you and wouldn't use the what's app myself for this but I wonder if some of the parents have a point buried deep in their precious whinging that's getting buried deep and lost in translation?

I was always falling over in the playground, and had permanent scabs on my knees-then they discovered I needed glasses!

Our WhatsApp is a nightmare too. We don't get that element though. Just boring verbiage from several seemingly, chronically bored women, who feel the need to share their every waking thought. Can't wait til they mix up the class!
On the playground scraps though, our school has a worryingly high incidence I think and they are not addressing it as they should. My son was punched in the face twice (2 different boys) and pushed off a moving tricycle once. All aged 4. Pretty much all my friends have similar stories with varying degrees of seriousness.

Did anyone watch the 63 Up programmers last week? They had followed a group of children across social class since they were 7, I'm old enough to remember the first one 7 Up in 1964!
What I noticed last week was the opening sequence of black and white scenes of the children playing and I thought 'They wouldn't be allowed to do that today', swinging on ropes on what looked like bomb-sites etc. I pity many of today's children.

It was an adventure playground. And yes it would not be allowed now.

We seem to be quite lucky in that the DCs primary school lets them play in trees and big wooden climbing area etc at playtimes- they do come home muddy and scuffed...I'm quite surprised really- they also have this thing called a play pod full of random scrap- old tires and things in there. So some school do let them.

jenny DH and I commented that it looked more like a building site than a playground!

It's a bit over the top. I'd be upset it was deliberate hurting but kids gets bumps and bruises. My 8 year old daughter is covered from school I haven't a clue what she gets up to but her legs are usually covered, we joke that in the holidays her skin has time to recover but I can't wrap her in cotton wool especially at school.