To think some parents are far too over protective.

[ScottishJo31]

Hi all, I am fully prepared to get flamed for this I have 3 children aged 9, 5 and 1 ( all boys) my middle son is in reception and every week without fail there is a message on the class WhatsApp group which usually contains a photo regarding a child who has the odd scrape or bruise caused by general play or sometimes rough play, with accompanying statements such as I am heartbroken that my baby has got hurt by another child .. I trusted my baby in the schools care.. etc etc
The majority of these injuries are minor scuffs and the odd tiny bruise potentially "caused" by a child no older than 5 years old.
My sons class has a lot of children who do need to supervised carefully and monitored because they play fight and run around a lot at lunchtimes as most 5 years old do in my opinion!
My sons have always had the odd scratch and scrape and I never think to give them the third degree about it... yet some
Of the boys who have been a bit rough with my middle son are the very ones who have every minor bruise listed on these groups.
I appreciate parents do not want to see their children get hurt but to document every tiny mark seems excessive. I appreciate I may be in the minority about this but it seems a bit much- it's something I'm seeing more and more...!

My worry for years has been that kids aren't allowed to fall off bikes, climb trees, rough and tumble in general
AND then they hit 17 and get given the keys to a killing machine
Without ever learning that actions have consequences and sometimes those consequences hurt

Golden, that’s an odd statement, parents love their children, part of love is preparation for their future, no one will love your child like you do, discipline and teaching Your child the word no is to love them.

Christ! I couldn’t be a part of that WhatsApp group!

I grew up covered in bruises and scrapes and used to gleefully show of my “war wounds” to anyone who would listen. My sister and cousins and I would compare our scars to see who had the best and biggest ones.

What is wrong with these parents? Have they completely forgotten their childhoods?

That group sounds particularly grim! There are some people who just really need to get out more.

Glad to hear from people who agree with me on this! I mentioned to DH the other day how much I loved to see DD’s little knees all scraped up now she’s at an age where she’s playing outside a lot more and he looked at me like I was batshit! And then I thought maybe I was but I’m realising now that it might because he had a very cosseted childhood. Whereas I automatically associate scrapes and bruises with having a fun happy childhood which is obviously what I want for DD.

user87382294757 I've had similar with trips I've been on. The most recent one saw parents kicking off because we weren't posting enough updates on the school Twitter feed. The kids were 15!

Generally, the kids aren't permitted to bring their phones on residential trips as past experience says they cause way, way more problems than they solve. Interestingly, it's the parents rather than the kids who take the most issue with this, I've found.

I'm a terrible parent... I didn't realise DD6 had 2 plasters on her leg the other day until bed time but also...she's always got them. If they're not exploring and testing boundaries and limitations of what their little bodies can do, how will they ever learn?

There were always overprotective parents, but there does seem more potential from things like WhatsApp groups- or Mumsnet for that matter - to encourage them.

It's been around ages. It's a running joke in my family that I got so many childhood injuries it 'changed' by the time I was 8.

Another girl in my school tripped and fell into my face. Her teeth landed in a way that my eye down to my cheekbone was ripped open. Both parents were called. My DM walked in, saw I was ok and straight away went to the other girl and said 'Oh Sarah* your poor mouth, are you ok, is Mammy on her way?'. The school were in a panic about which would sue which or both and both could sue the school.

I'd had a few bumps and DM had never kicked up a fuss but others would. This was 25+ years ago.

The 'some' are now the usual. Accidents happen. Bumps, scrapes, accidents that are nobodies fault shouldn't be a thing.

I don't think the schools help with this though, probably because of the overprotective parents. I got a call to say my son had had an allergic reaction to chlorine during a swimming lesson. I turned up with anithistimines to see a very clear shiner. I asked him what had happened and he said he had been kicked while swimming. Total accident - these things happen. He said it didn't hurt, no headache, no nausea. School wouldn't let him back in until he'd been assessed at walk in centre. I took a photo before leaving the pool, purely so I could compare it when was seen to assess whether it had gotten worse or better. School clearly panicked and rang me twice while I was away (total of hour and half) to check on his "injuries". He was fine, completely unperturbed and quite excited planning how he was going to tell his dad he got it while fighting crocodiles in the pool.

That Friday afternoon he came home with a bravery award from school for staying calm. Even he thought it was ridiculous, and he's 6.

Hrm depends what you mean by "rough play" really. Pushing/shoving/hitting/kicking yes I absolutely would want the school to be doing something about it. No one should behave roughly to another person.

The vast majority of these incidents are from play fighting which can include wrestling, chasing and general horse play.. from my observations it's generally a group of boys who are all as bad as one another with no one child victimised:

Yes the school did advise about not having phone contact on other trips as can make them homesick and the like, and school would contact if anything wrong. they go on a few days away in primary school so no idea why they make such a fuss in the teens! Not helpful to the teens is it. It even resulted in the FB page being updated with a pic of said group of embarrassed, smiling teens to reassure the mums they were OK- which then resulted in more requests for pics of theirs!

I am glad we don't have a school Whatsapp group. We have a school rep per class who emails a class email with details of anything we might have forgotten, that is OK. Or asks for help with PTA things. Anything else you can just contact the school.

Sad that some parents are more concerned than the actual kids.

YANBU and It’s not just incidents of rough play though- my friend tells me on our kids class WhatsApp (I’m not on it thank god) parents get precious about all sorts. They went on a school trip and so many mums were complaining because their children couldn’t take their phones with them and they “couldn’t cope” not speaking to them for 3 days. Not to mention the “you don’t think they’ll make them do outdoor activities in rain do you? My Sophie* hates rain” all the kids had water proofs btw. Coats, trousers and boots. Another was worried her child wouldn’t manage to brush his hair and would the teacher do it for him? They’re in year 6

Bloody hell if a child in year 6 can't brush their own hair, you have not brought them up properly.

Sil wont put her child on a swing because "you never know what will happen" yet she feeds him pot noodles and neglected him for the 1st year if his life (hes 18mnths). Some parents are protective in some aspects and not others, its all very odd

Exactly jenny honestly I would be too embarrassed to mention that to anyone if one of mine was unable to do something so basic (special needs accepted of course but even then it’s a fairly easy skill)

It went on all week long. One of parents went on the trip as a helper (she’s a TA in another class) and they were getting her to “spy” and report back to them and to pass on messages to their child. My own daughter is clearly a victim of neglect as that wouldn’t have occurred to me

What is "play fighting" and how does it differ from "fighting"?

My kids are pre-school but we've just been on holiday and they literally have scapes and bruises all over their legs! Also have an injury form most days at nursery.

My dc school was so worried about ringing me when my middle child feel over at school and broke her arm, as it was the 3rd year running on the same day one of my children had fallen over and broke themselves. When I answered I just which one had they broken this time.

The teachers felt really guilty about it. we just laughed because you couldn't written it.

Year 1 - DS fell at nursery - broke his elbow. And will we at the hospital waiting to be seen DD2 tripped over her own feet and split her chin open and needed gluing.

Year 2 - DD1 tripped over her own foot broke her wrist.

Year 3 - DD2 tripped over her own feet broke her wrist.

My ds regularly comes home covered in scrapes from falling over running etc.

But I’m not keen on “play” fighting and it he was coming home every day with visible marks caused by other kids I’d probably be a bit pissed off.

Exactly @ArfArfBarf. The OP is explicitly not about climbing trees etc but about children being "rough" with each other. I also would be concerned about that. Of course children can push/hit and so on but you don't just let them and say "oh, boys will be boys". I notice as well that it is just boys who are doing this in the OP.

I think most people near me are quite chilled and outdoorsy but I had an old friend to stay I was shocked at the level of overprotection. Her poor 2 year old wasn’t even allowed on a ride on toy without an excessive amount of hovering and interference. I can see her being a nightmare at school.