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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FGM on year 5 school curriculum

571 replies

MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:27

I'm really not sure if I'm being unreasonable, so I'm interested in everyone's thoughts.
My 9-year-old's class has just started learning about puberty. We have been told that the next lesson will cover terminology such as erection, sperm and female genital mutilation.
I just don't get why they need to learn about FGM at 9 years old. Some of these kids are very "young" for their age, and mine is very sensitive (won't watch the news in case an "adult topic" crops up).
What is the rationale for teaching this in year 5? There is nobody in the class from a cultural background likely to carry out FGM, but even if there was, would a 9 year-old know that it might happen to them and inform a teacher (if that is the rationale for teaching it)? From what I have read they aren't told anything about it in advance. If it has already happened to them, what is the benefit of bringing it up in class? Couldn't it be damaging and stigmatising?

OP posts:
Grasspigeons · 07/06/2019 10:29

You need to tell the children in time so they know to get help... think about the age of the girls it happens to

Original poster
MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:30

You mean if it happens to them in the future they'll know to get help?

OP posts:
Grasspigeons · 07/06/2019 10:31

Yes i think so.

Original poster
MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:31

FGM is carried out any time between infancy and puberty.

OP posts:
Anothertempusername · 07/06/2019 10:32

It will be happening to children in the UK. The more children who understand how horrific, traumatising and illegal it is the better. No harm at all can come of children of that age learning about it.

Original poster
MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:33

How will my 9-year-old child knowing about it help the situation?

OP posts:
LimpidPools · 07/06/2019 10:34

Well you can't inform an infant, can you? But you can explain it to an 8/9 year old.

UnicornBrexit · 07/06/2019 10:35

It is important, some of the girls will culturally be from areas that practice FGM and are at risk of being taken out of country, or indeed up country and having it done.

I really do hate this blanket ostriching some parents practice. This is life, there are gay people, bi people, trans people, religious people, non white people Shock etc etc, you do your a child a complete disservice is you don't make them aware of sexual, cultural and religious practices.

Exactly how deep do you think this is going to be covered aged 9? Graphic shots of a vulva? Hmm rusty razor blades? tapes of screaming ? You said in your OP its about terminology. Do you think they are going to be shown and erect and ejaculating penis?

If it has happened - every HCP they encounter has a legal obligation to report it …. If it has already happened to them, what is the benefit of bringing it up in class? Couldn't it be damaging and stigmatising? … to stop their daughters being cut.

Constant parental hysteria.

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 10:36

“How will my 9-year-old child knowing about it help the situation?“

It’s not a personalised curriculum.....

Yesicancancan · 07/06/2019 10:38

Yabu . Very much so. This may be the only time the class find out that fgm happens and that it is abuse.
You are also making a massive mistake to assume no one in the class is likely to be effected based on your assumption of cultural relevance. By your argument you are saying if you think some of class are from cultures effected by fgm that it’s more likely to happen. That is a racist point of view.

Original poster
MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:39

What about rape, incest, murder, abduction, mental abuse, physical abuse...etc. They aren't, as far as I know, being taught about these things. Only "inappropriate touching" of the "area covered by underwear". In the same lesson they are being taught the words breasts, penis, vagina etc they're going to learn about being held down and cut in their privates with a razor blade and no anaesthesia so that they will be unable to feel sexual pleasure?

OP posts:
LimpidPools · 07/06/2019 10:39

I imagine it's standard on the national curriculum, to ensure it reaches all the vulnerable children it needs to. And that takes priority over the delicate sensibilities of your child.

But if they really need shielding from this knowledge, then you have the right to withdraw them from sex education Hmm

aPengTing · 07/06/2019 10:40

How will my 9-year-old child knowing about it help the situation?

Well, perhaps a friend she has might mention to her about getting cut etc. Your child could then inform you or a teacher.

I knew from the age of 11 that my best friend had the full FGM, children tell each other things.

buttonmoon19 · 07/06/2019 10:40

YANBU. It shouldn’t be on the curriculum.

Original poster
MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:41

Ok, my view must be unreasonable. But how will learning about it prevent it from happening to a child who has no idea that it might happen to them?

OP posts:
LimpidPools · 07/06/2019 10:41

And yes, in case it wasn't clear, YABVU.

TheRealShatParp · 07/06/2019 10:43

**How will my 9-year-old child knowing about it help the situation?

Why are you only thinking about your child?

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 10:43

“What about rape, incest, murder, abduction, mental abuse, physical abuse...etc. They aren't, as far as I know, being taught about these things.“
They will be. Consent is a big issue. I would go and ask the school exactly what they will be told. It’s unlikely to be in graphic detail.

Original poster
MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:43

Well, perhaps a friend she has might mention to her about getting cut etc. Your child could then inform you or a teacher.

This is true, yes.

OP posts:
LimpidPools · 07/06/2019 10:43

It is not all about your precious darling OP.

I imagine they teach it to the boys too... Try and get your head round that one Hmm

FanjoFizz · 07/06/2019 10:43

It is important, some of the girls will culturally be from areas that practice FGM and are at risk of being taken out of country, or indeed up country and having it done

I don’t see how a child knowing about FGM will stop it happening.
If an 8/9yr old girl’s family choose to take her to a country and mutilate her do you think she’ll be able to prevent it? Or fight them off? No of course she won’t, she’s a child.
They probably will take them to “visit family”, the same as they do with arranged marriages.

IsabellaLinton · 07/06/2019 10:46

I don’t believe it should be on the curriculum either, certainly not at that age. My DD won’t be attending those lessons. I’d much rather we concentrated on the perpetrators and prosecuted those found guilty to the full extent of the law.

Original poster
MermaidMummy · 07/06/2019 10:47

then you have the right to withdraw them from sex education

But this isn't basic sex education is it? It's abuse, barbaric torture and on par with cutting off a child's penis. For a second ever lesson on puberty it just doesn't seem right.

OP posts:
Grasspigeons · 07/06/2019 10:47

It might not prevent it for them but it might give them the confidence to approach someone when they get home or their sibings, cousins and so on. A girl might understandcit happenedcto her, it was wrong and realise thats in store for little sis

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 07/06/2019 10:47

It will be taught in an age appropriate way, using age appropriate language.