FGM on year 5 school curriculum

[MermaidMummy]

I'm really not sure if I'm being unreasonable, so I'm interested in everyone's thoughts.
My 9-year-old's class has just started learning about puberty. We have been told that the next lesson will cover terminology such as erection, sperm and female genital mutilation.
I just don't get why they need to learn about FGM at 9 years old. Some of these kids are very "young" for their age, and mine is very sensitive (won't watch the news in case an "adult topic" crops up).
What is the rationale for teaching this in year 5? There is nobody in the class from a cultural background likely to carry out FGM, but even if there was, would a 9 year-old know that it might happen to them and inform a teacher (if that is the rationale for teaching it)? From what I have read they aren't told anything about it in advance. If it has already happened to them, what is the benefit of bringing it up in class? Couldn't it be damaging and stigmatising?

My point is why teach it as part of an early lesson about puberty, in which they are learning about names for body parts that some are still calling "feefee" etc.

Schools teach it because some parents won't ever do it and those kids deserve protecting. The average y5 will have heard of words like penis and vagina even if they usually opt for words like willy instead.

Schools are doing the best they can to help prevent FGM by various means (I speak as a school governor), and educating children is one way of helping.
Yes, if your child specifically is not at risk then this is, to a degree, not relevant to them. However, there are many other female children in the class/school who may not be aware that this is illegal. So, if they have already been a victim of this abuse, they may know to report it to a teacher/trusted person. If your DD knows someone who is talking about being sore or so on, then they can alert someone. They may know someone else who is at risk.

We absolutely need to prevent this happening in the first place and punish the perpertrators, but without education, we cannot move forward. How can you know something is wrong if nobody has ever told you about it?

What this all seems to be avoiding is that FGM happens in extremely specific communities. Does the teaching make that clear? Because it should, if it's going to be covered, surely?

Anothertempusername

I'm not saying they shouldn't learn about it. I'm saying I don't think 9 is the right age! That is all.

I'm on the fence on this one. The parents who do this to their girls are usually very controlling and come from an insular community. Will these girls be removed from the lessons anyway by their parents?

As long as it is done sensitively

I forgot to say that my kids knew what sex was by age 5/6 but I'd forgotten to cover wet dreams which they learned at school in y5. They didn't know the word masturbation either although knew what it was. The school puberty lesson is more like a backup of what kids should know well before that point.

Fee fee? At 9 years old? You're leaving this all too late OP. My daughters been saying vagina and vulva since she could talk. Now she's not scared to talk about them.

UnicornBrexit

Perhaps you should wait for the teaching material before getting all up tight.

I'm uptight in response to people deliberately or otherwise misinterpreting my views.

I wasn't sure how to feel about it to be honest, which is why I asked for opinions. Yes, i will be interested to see how they plan to teach it.

FGM is a human rights issue and I'm sure that children in Y5 will not be shown graphic photographs, OP.

They do need to know about this practice, though.

SignedUpJust4This

Fee fee? At 9 years old? You're leaving this all too late OP. My daughters been saying vagina and vulva since she could talk. Now she's not scared to talk about them.

Just to be clear, my daughter knows her vulva from her vagina and doesn't call it a feefee. I was jyst trying to make a point, as some of these kids do use baby language for their private parts and really don't know the real names.

I have no issue with a my kid knowing about "adult themes/topics" at age 9. They are in Year 5, they aren't babies.

I really do hate this blanket ostriching some parents practice. This is life, there are gay people, bi people, trans people, religious people, non white people shock etc etc, you do your a child a complete disservice is you don't make them aware of sexual, cultural and religious practices.

Well said, Unicorn.

As long as these topics are handled in an age-appropriate way, it can only be a good thing.

And if learning about FGM stops just one girl from going through it, it's really worth it.

@MermaidMummy what is the right age then? 12? 16? 35? I learned about euthanasia at school at 13. Is that too young? I learned about the Holocaust at 11. Is that too young?

If an 8/9yr old girl’s family choose to take her to a country and mutilate her do you think she’ll be able to prevent it? Or fight them off? No of course she won’t, she’s a child.

But she might be able to share her fears with an adult, who might be able to prevent it.

Thank you for all your responses. It is really eye opening.

Much like many types of abuse within families, it becomes the norm

And that's exactly why it needs to be taught, so that children realise it's wrong and that there are adults who can help them make it stop.

Anothertempusername

@MermaidMummy what is the right age then? 12? 16? 35? I learned about euthanasia at school at 13. Is that too young? I learned about the Holocaust at 11. Is that too young?

If you bother to read what I've already said, even a few months after the initial lessons. I think bringing it up in a lesson which is supposed to be about naming body parts and discussing "body changes at puberty" is wrong. They should focus on these issues in separate lessons. If they want to teach about other forms of abuse then do that later on in a lesson about abuse.

So how is a sugar coated version going to benefit the kids everyone is saying will benefit from learning about it?

In the same way as the no pants rule helps children to understand that anyone who molests them is wrong so they can tell somebody about it. It would be entirely inappropriate to describe the graphic detail of what that person might do to them but entirely appropriate to make them aware .

I think you've done right in requesting the materialAnd you can check that you feel it is age appropriate. Personally I would prepare her at home by telling her about fgm beforehand. Then you know she understands it and how unlikely it is to happen to her.

but this is an extremely negative cultural practice. Are the cultures that perform this actually made clear at any time? Because surely ALL the facts need to be out there for education to be effective, but equally how is that done without resulting in accusations of racism or othering?

Surely they don't just say vaguely 'some cultures do this'?

I can appreciate why you feel like you do. But we can’t bring about change without education.

@lakielady - in that situation parents will often tell the girl in flowery terms. For example: when you go to x country you will become a woman / find a husband / become clean. The girl will also know from other family members.

People don’t realise but FGM isn’t reserved to African countries; it used to be something that happened quite commonly in a lot of south asian countries too (including India). When I was growing up FGM (or cutting as it was called then) was discussed from the age of 8 alongside child marriages and often similar language was used. Even GPs got involved and started linking FGM to infertility / infections and I remember a lot of leaflets in the surgery about it. As communities opened up and education provided both FGM and child marriages became far less prevalent in South Asian communities in the UK — and that education filtered through to the countries too and changed cultural practises there as well. Now FGM is almost unheard of in South Asia.

janetforpresident

I agree, and we will talk about it before the lesson. I know she will be horrified and will carry it as a worry though. I can't think how the school will be able to gently explain mutilation of any sort. It's mutilation by definition.

I understand why you're uncomfortable with her learning about this, OP, but I do also understand why they need to be taught this.

They're at the cusp of puberty and gaining independence and whilst it seems a million miles away and extremely unlikely to happen, FGM is some culture's norm (as wrong as it is).

If this is engrained into them now, then if a child should confide this has happened then they know they can tell a teacher, similarly if it happens to them, they can tell a teacher.

I doubt they will be told in graphic detail what the 'surgical procedure' entails, more along the lines - "you mustn't let anyone touch your private parts, some people try to change the shape of a vagina but if anyone tells you that happens to them always tell the teacher."

They won't be taught anything that isn't there to try and promote awareness and keep them safe. Speak to her teacher in advance about the topics that will be covered and go over it with her at home beforehand.

“I think bringing it up in a lesson which is supposed to be about naming body parts and discussing "body changes at puberty" ”

PHSE lessons go a bit beyond naming body parts in Year 5. Well, they certainly used to- I bloody well hope they still do!