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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who’s in the wrong here?

79 replies

Beebeezed · 07/06/2019 09:58

Was just sat on a bus. A lady gets on with a buggy and parks it in a way that is taking up two spaces and then sits down next to it, so taking three altogether. Bus not very busy.
An elderly lady opposite her starts shaking her head, tutting and muttering to her friends about how many seats she’s taken.
The lady with the buggy asks if there is an issue. The elderly lady says ‘you don’t even pay for babies to get on and they end up taking two spaces’ to which the lady with the buggy replies ‘pretty sure you got on this bus using a free bus pass. Out of all of us I’m the only one that’s actually paid for my seat. Thank you’
This is then followed by a lot of moaning and voicing of disgust between the elderly lady and her friends while the lady with the buggy goes on her phone to ignore it.

I’m on the lady with the buggy’s side here. If the bus had been packed I would have expected her to manoeuvre the buggy to be taking up only one space but it wasn’t so I don’t think she needed to. I’m all for respecting your elders but I do feel this lady was being a bit silly. What do you guys think, who’s was being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Vulpine · 07/06/2019 12:36

the age was relevant because part of the exchange was about free bus pass.

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 12:37

“The woman being elderly is very relevant to this particular story”

Bollocks it is. And even if it was, why is she called old/elderly in every single post thereafter?

pigsDOfly · 07/06/2019 12:37

I don't think the buggy woman was rude.

Everyone had a seat, no one was being inconvenienced so there was no need to tut and moan about it.

And yes, if the older woman was using a bus pass and getting her travel free, what's the problem about someone pointing that out, when she moaning unnecessarily about someone else's use of the seats on the bus.

Antigon · 07/06/2019 12:39

The question is whether the woman with buggy would have moved if it got busy or someone with a disability needed a space.

Maybe the older lady has seen so many people not move for others.

buckeejit · 07/06/2019 12:40

Older lady was a whiner. I'm with pram lady

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 12:40

Old dear.
Lemon sucking.
Nothing better to do.
The usual pile on when an older person is mentioned- waiting for dried up old biddy........

pigsDOfly · 07/06/2019 12:41

Surely the woman being old enough to use a bus pass is relevant to the story, as otherwise the buggy woman talking about bus passes would have made no sense.

I'm the first person to jump on all the ageism that's on here so frequently, but I just don't see it in this.

JacquesHammer · 07/06/2019 12:41

Bollocks it is

So everyone gets a free bus pass? Or is it, indeed, a scheme relevant to a certain age....?

recrudescence · 07/06/2019 12:42

Taking up three seats doesn’t matter if there’s no-one there to sit on them.

PepsiLola · 07/06/2019 12:44

@BertrandRussell age is important if you read the OP post regarding her comment about her having a free pensioners bus pass.

I don't think OP was bringing age up for no reason, it explained the mums later comment

ScreamingValenta · 07/06/2019 12:46

They're both in the wrong. A perfect example of what happens when two rude and entitled people come head to head.

  • Lady opposite shouldn't have mentioned the matter to her friends
  • Buggy lady shouldn't have responded to remarks that weren't addressed to her
  • Lady opposite should have addressed concern more reasonably - e.g. 'I'm worried that your buggy might stop others sitting down if the bus fills up.'
  • Buggy lady should have reassured passengers that if needed, she'd move the buggy.
Original poster
Beebeezed · 07/06/2019 12:49

I only mentioned she was elderly as it made the comment regarding the bus pass make sense.

OP posts:
PepsiLola · 07/06/2019 12:51

@Beebeezed you'll always offend someone 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am on mums side, she deserves a high five for the bus pass comment! I wouldn't have been quick witted enough to think of that

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 13:04

Age might well have been important in the OP. How about every other post? With derogatory comments?

JacquesHammer · 07/06/2019 13:13

Age might well have been important in the OP

When someone posted that age was relevant to the OP, your response was “bollocks is it”.....

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 13:31

Other people have free bus passes.

Why was it relevant for every other poster to reference her age?

Pinkvoid · 07/06/2019 13:32

The old woman just sounds bitter and cold. It was completely unnecessary and I really feel for the woman with the newborn who is probably knackered and already stressed without having this hassle added on top.

The bus wasn’t full so why shouldn’t the pram take up two spaces? I’m sure she’d have moved it if needs be.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 07/06/2019 13:35

Other people have free bus passes.

Yes but the woman on the bus could tell this woman had a free bus pass because she was elderly. If she'd happened to be a teenager who would have had a free bus pass she would have said so. You're really grasping at straws here!

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 07/06/2019 13:35

Should OP have said "There was a lady on the bus who we all knew had a free bus pass but I'm not telling you why".

Antigon · 07/06/2019 13:37

The old woman just sounds bitter and cold.

Or maybe she's just tired of seeing people take up 3 bus seats and not move when the bus gets busy?

who is probably knackered and already stressed without having this hassle added on top.

Actually the woman sounds like she was quite happy, probably browsing MN on her phone

I’m sure she’d have moved it if needs be.

Why are you so sure? Do you know her?

funinthesun19 · 07/06/2019 13:37

- Buggy lady shouldn't have responded to remarks that weren't addressed to her

If they are about her and they are loud enough to be heard, then in my opinion they are addressed to her. It’s not rude to confront someone if they are making unfair comments about you. People shouldn’t be shocked and taken aback when they get called on their twatty behaviour.

- Buggy lady should have reassured passengers that if needed, she'd move the buggy.
No she shouldn’t.
1)There was no need to move her buggy.
2) why should she give the rude woman that satisfaction? It’s just feeding a busy body who thinks they are right.

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 13:40

So why has every other poster referenced her age? Even if it was necessary for the OP to, why should everyone else?

NannyRed · 07/06/2019 13:42

Old biddy was in the wrong. It made no bloody difference to her if the buggy took up one or 21 sears, she didn’t suffer!

JacquesHammer · 07/06/2019 13:42

So why has every other poster referenced her age? Even if it was necessary for the OP to, why should everyone else?

They haven't.

funinthesun19 · 07/06/2019 13:42

Or maybe she's just tired of seeing people take up 3 bus seats and not move when the bus gets busy?

Apart from a wheelchair user getting on the bus, why should she move? I understand giving up her own seat because it’s right at the front and someone might need it more than she does, but not the big space where a wheelchair or pram would go.