An ongoing 'discussion' with my OH.
He is of the view that everything should be equal, ie we must spend similar on each other's birthday and Christmas presents, that he will only ever do 50% of a task, that I should not expect flowers and compliments unless I give it back. I'm not a gold digger (I actually have far more money in assets than him, although his income is 50% higher than mine) nor am I a delicate flower who needs to be looked after, I'm very independent but sometimes it would be nice to get some help, or at least an offer, as I am always super busy trying to do 20 things at once. For instances I've had issues with builders earlier this year and never once has he helped or in any way got involved (conversely I've given him lots of help with his problems, written references, letters of complaint etc).
Also he says things which I feel are unkind, I have a very good memory generally (I've always been able to memorize huge lists etc, it was helpful to pass exams) but as I get older it's not entirely infallible. If I say X happened, or I think X happened, he will say what about your amaaaaazing memory? Or thst my memory is nothing special, I'm just the same as everyone else.
I find that hurtful and told him. He said that it was no different to me saying he was feeling sorry for himself and if I say that I can't expect him not to respond similarly (He comes out with a lot of comments like I clearly don't care/ am not invested in our relationship/I obviously find him repulsive and want someone else - I give him no reason to think this).
Is it wrong to actually not want everything to be so very equal? To actually want sometimes to be or feel looked after/ cared for, just a bit? Isn't that how a relationship should be?