Will he always be like this?

[fitbitfreak]

New boyfriend of some months .Honest and straight up with me but a mummy's boy so can be spoilt and self obsessed at times. He is generally very sweet. Very popular etc.
He has been honest from the get go that he likes his own company and to spend time on his own regularly. No problem there. He said too that he likes to spend plenty of time on his hobbies and with his friends. He has a large amount of friends and hobbies. I'm happy with that. What I am not happy about is that he can only fit me in around these choices . I thought he would increase face to face contact as time progressed but it is still the same. Any similar experiences please. Will it ever improve if like this early on in the relationship.

Sorry, no, I don't think it will. What if it progressed and later on you had DC with him? Chances are he would not want to give up any of his activities. Sorry to say it but I think you should cut your losses now as you two aren't suited.

If he wasn't a mummy's boy and self obsessed, possibly. However...

While he's having his cake & eating it, why would he change?

how often are you seeing him and how often would you like?
Are you always the initiator ?

He wants sex on tap without commitment...
But just enough to keep you waiting for him in the wings obviously...

He doesn't sound like he's cut out for any kind of a partnership

I would play him at his own game tell him you need a lot of time on your own and you need to spend time on your hobbies eccetera
Or if you can't be fucked with all that shit just kick him to the curb

I think it’s unlikely to change I’m afraid, normally at the start of a relationship you see each other loads as you have that butterflies/excitement feeling and want to be with each other as much as you can.

At the moment he gets to have a girlfriend at times that only suit him, it seems one sided and unfair and that he is calling all the shots. It also suggests he sees his time as more valuable than yours as he’s the one who decides when you meet up.

I think I would end it for someone who actively wanted to see me, and on more equal terms.

Don't make any compromises or concessions, make sure he dances to your tune and fits his life around your conveniences, whilst at the same time being a sweet and honest person
Should be fun to watch 😂🤣🤭

I always insist on being someone's first priority otherwise what's the point of the relationship

Obviously if someone has kids then they come first that goes without saying. But I'm next. Me.

Why would you value yourself so little . Come on girl ! He needs to put some effort in. Only he doesn't have to because you are happy to take his magnificently bestowed crumbs..

My lovely dad used to say .. if a man doesn't worship the ground you walk on - he's not good enough..

I see him during the week to watch a movie or have dinner and at weekends for a day out and then we stay at mine on that night.
Mostly. Sometimes he has other plans . I often tell him that I miss him or suggest meeting some more but he has a busy schedule . I would like a serious partnership with a view to marriage or living together in the future but I'm not sure f I am that bothered anymore .

Read all your replies and they are unanimous that he is not where I am in terms of level of commitment. Thanks.

Good lord no this one is absolutely to be thrown back in the pond.

It doesn't sound like it's progressing. Of course he's entitled to want me time and friend/hobby time. But you need to time too and to see where it's going. You shouldn't always feel on the back burner. It doesn't sound like marriage or commitment are on his radar at all.

He knows that the more he can persuade you to invest your time and effort into trying to compete for his attention the harder it will be for you to walk away, the longer he can string you along for the more he knows that he's got you trapped into doing his bidding.

Cut your losses now!

"He's just not that into you", as the saying has it.

Walk away and find someone who is.

Why would you want a mummy's boy 😩😩

Op, listen to whosorrynow.

He is throwing you crumbs, and it will leave you hungry and insecure. This sort of thing can become addictive and therefore destructive. Walk away before you get hurt.

I wasted 6 years of my life with someone like this. He never changed. I was always the last one on his list.

He's just not that into you, sorry.

@pawpatrolismyfav it depends what kind of Mummy's boy surely? said the mother of 3 boys

OP you'd think if he liked you that much he'd make some compromises but also, you would make them too. I'd just walk away, to have worries this early on isn't a good sign!

No, chuck this one bag. He just wants an occasional shag, doesn't he?

Chuck him back, I mean!

In the early days of dating it should really be a case of not being able to get enough of each other. He just doesn't sound that into you. Not having time my arse - he's not interested in 'making' the time.

I would like a serious partnership with a view to marriage or living together in the future but I'm not sure f I am that bothered anymore

That won't happen with this one, sorry OP. He might change in future if he's in his 20s now, but I wouldn't waste your time. He might make a decent partner for someone at some point. But I think in the here and now you can do better.

And being spoiled and self obsessed isn't sweet. That sounds like he's sweet when he's getting his own way, which is manipulative rather than pleasant.