Partners who stay with Sex Offenders *WARNING - EXTREMELY TRIGGERING CONTENT*

[nanoonanoomindy]

Hi

I realise this is a very uncomfortable subject but a thread on mumsnet a couple of days ago with a weblink for support for parents whose children have been referred to social services (can I say I absolutely agree such services should exist and that there isn't enough support for these families).

What has 'surprised' me is the extent that parents (and of course mainly mothers) are posting for advice and contempt that SS are involved as they are in a relationship/married to a partner who has been convicted of downloading child abuse images/found to be grooming 13/14 year olds. 'He was in a bad place, he's not like that now', 'He's been on this course and won't reoffend' and the best 'it was a malicious accusation' - negating the 1001 images recovered from his PC and can't understand while SS have a contact order meaning her partner can't have access to her children is in place.

There are women on there who KNOW their partners wave been convicted of abuse to children and are still claiming 'he isn't a threat'

It's so common on this link surely we have to have some wives/GF's on mumsnet who agree - I genuinely hope those living with a partner/whose children have been removed because you put your sex offender bloke first, will come forward and explain what I'm missing.

I couldn’t agree with you more. My father is abusive, he sexually abused me, he’s stalked women, he’s emotionally abusive to my mother. But she won’t ever leave him and doesn’t even understand why I don’t want to leave my DC at their house for the day when I go to work. She insists that he ‘would never hurt the kids’ but he hurt me and he hurts all women in different ways. I don’t understand it at all, I wish things were different.

As with all criminal offences, it is rarely black and white. Depending on what area of the country you live in, those who are found to have downloaded images of CSA can often be offered treatment sessions as an alternative to prosecution, and in those cases (and indeed often when there is a conviction but no custodial sentence), SS will not necessarily place restriction on them living with or spending time with their/ their partners children if they consider there is no risk to those children.

p I'm so sorry your mother failed you and stuck by a sexual predator.

We have to have these wives/mothers/partners posting on these boars as every other two or three threads on this webiste is supporting their partners!

I really hope that those women who have stayed with their partners whilst knowing they are a sex offender can convince me why and actually debate - it's an anonymous forum so surely nothing to lose.

When my childhood friend *Alan found out his df was abusing his sm's dd's he cut him off. The sm didn't.
He also worked as a caretaker in a school, she didn't report him as she didn't want him to lose his job....
I was a dc and hope now someone adult did report him as it was quite common knowledge amongst family friends.

Probably be deleted but hey - children are more important. Just could the amount of sex offenders and partners excusing them - vile.

frg.org.uk/ParentsForum/viewforum.php?f=16

Not got much to add OP other than I totally agree with you. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I opened that link. First post is proper sickening.

Why not take it up on the board you linked rather than ask posters on MN?

Is this your first post on MN or have you NC? Are you the OP loveislandsunisland from the other thread you mention? It was only last night and is a virtually identical thread.

I would just like these women to stand up and explain why they stand by a sex offender - before I read that link I had no idea I just thought any claim etc a potential/new/historic partner could be convicted of a sexual offence and on the SOTP. Bizzare how many are on that link yet nobody will come forward here? x

What has that link got to do with MN?

Why don't you just ASK THEM ON THE SITE YOU LINKED SINCE THAT IS WHERE THEY ARE??

Glad to see you on the thread, Watcher.

Evening all.

And you too, Eine. 👍

Since when can we only discuss MN on MN?

I think it's disgusting personally. If you abuse a child or look at abuse images you should lose the right to have your identity protected you should have a big red sign outside your house like they do in the states. Once you have harmed a child who will be a damaged person for life and it is proven by dna evidence or hard evidence then I don't see why my taxes should keep you fed, protected and sharing your disgusting stories with others although is happily pay for the bullet in your head or rope to hang you with. No sympathy and the mothers who even question makes me want to cry for all the mums who have lost their babies who would protect their babies from any monster like that.
These people should be castrated and those who chose them sterilized and all of their babies should be away from them. My views may sound extreme to some but once you have committed the worst kind of evil is there really any coming back from that?
I do however think more needs to be done to stop offending peados, help when they first get these sick thoughts needs to be readily available to stop the most vulnerable getting hurt. Unfortunately I don't think you will get an answer because deep down these people must know that they are with monsters they just have too little self respect to admit it to themselves

WatcherOfTheNight Thu 06-Jun-19 00:18:59
What has that link got to do with MN?

It's got to do with MN because it' a website support site for parents. That link for support for parents - I thought I'd explained that though I appreciate it's not common sense.

It's not about the discussion,of course all subjects are discussed.
The op says I would just like these women to stand up and explain why they stand by a sex offender - before I read that link I had no idea I just thought any claim etc a potential/new/historic partner could be convicted of a sexual offence and on the SOTP. Bizzare how many are on that link yet nobody will come forward here? x

Are Boreofwhabylon said ,maybe you'd get better answers if you asked on the site you've read it .
I've not seen any mothers support sex offenders here

Why start a second thread? Are you going to answer my post at 00.16 too, OP?

Watcher are you posting in a personal capacity or as NWer?

Some woman really make me despair putting their children in these situations.

Apparently 50% of women whose husbands are convicted of abuse side with their husbands instead of their children. That’s what my mum did. How can it be explained? Some women are truly pathetic creatures who don’t want to be alone, no matter what the cost.