To think mothers at the park are anti-social

[Annieandboys]

My ds has just turned 2. He absolutely loves playing with other children. He is kind and gentle with great manners, he plays very well.
I can't help but notice a pattern occurring when we go to the park. Whenever he approaches children the mother (never experienced this with father's) stands up and says to the children "come on, let's go and play over here" she then proceeds to get up and move to another peice of apparatus. Generally the child is curious and very willing to play with ds but the child is then again called away.
I just don't understand. This has happened so many times now.. I thought we are suppose to encourage our children to socialise and play together. It breaks my heart to see my little boy confused as to why he can't play.
aibu, am I being paranoid, does this only happy to me?

How old are the other children? If much bigger the DMs might be worried about them squashing/hurting your toddler.

This has never happened to me at a playground - have you any idea what the reason could be?

(Are you covered in tattoos or anything?)

Oh, is it possible they are moving to give your DS a go on the equipment?

I would use any excuse to move on from the swings, thinking about it.

I would be likely to move my ds away if a child came up to him as he can be very unpredictable. Hv wants to asses him for autism. I have anxiety and a situation like that would make me anxious because of the ways in which my son could react to a stranger approaching him.

However if I was with dd I wouldn't move her away at all.

Could it be the children at the park are older than your ds? It can be nerve wracking watching older children play with a baby imo.

That’s never happened here, I’m pleased if DD finds a playmate
I must admit that I can be quite anti social as sometimes I am shattered and haven’t the energy for small talk

Have you omitted to mention you are the local crime lord’s moll, or something?

Could be that the parent doesn't want to interact with you ?
Not because of any reason but maybe they are just enjoying their own company - I know I'm like this for sure !

Don’t think I’ve ever witnessed that. My kids are pretty social and I think most parents are happy toes there kids stay and play. The only similar scenario is if want to try to help there little ones share by keeping them Moving so other kids can have a turn on the prized equipment?

Although I'm lucky we don't encounter many people at our local park.... and I am covered in tattoos so they'd probably stay away from us anyway

Too Much missing context OP!

This only tends to happen to me when the other child is much older than DS. Most parents are happy for their children to play, at least IME. You always get the odd one, but generally if the kids gravitate to one another. normally the parents let them crack on.

So not sure what's going on there, op, not doubting your experience but it doesn't tally with mine.

I always do this, I noticed children don’t generally like sharing at the park and end up pushing or shoving so I always move my children away when one comes over to avoid it.

That does sound a bit odd. I’ve experienced this maybe once or twice but have just assumed the mum is too shy/exhausted to make small talk so finds it easier just to move away because I’ve been there DH has had this happen when he’s taken DCs to his parents’ local playground and he reckons it’s because they live in a really snooty area where people are notoriously unfriendly... could this be the case where you are OP?

Sorry Sonny! Apologies for the tattooism!

I thought you were going to say the mums were not very chatty and I was going to answer that I avoid small talk with strangers at all costs!

However it is very strange to move your dc away when they are making new friends. I would never do that because I don’t want my dc turning out like me who finds it almost impossible to make friends.

I think it depends for me on where in the park. Playing with toys or on the grass, fine, but running at mine when he is on a swing or at the top of the slide would make me nervous they were going to push him off.

It'll get easier as he gets bigger. A lot of kids that age are very territorial and a lot of mums are very helicoptery and eager to avoid conflict. By the time they're 3 or 4 they'll play together whether the parents like it or not, and the parents (mostly) have the sense to back off a bit by then too.

I always do this, I noticed children don’t generally like sharing at the park and end up pushing or shoving so I always move my children away when one comes over to avoid it

Bit of a self fulfilling prophecy, surely? I think part of the point of the park is that children have to learn to take turns and play together...

I only lead my kids away when the child trying to play with them is being too rough; hitting, pushing or not sharing the play equipment they are all using. If the kid is playing nicely, then I leave them to it.

How old are the children though, i often find older children end up getting told off for being to rough or energetic around younger children, and the older ones are expected to adapt their play. So it’s easier for me to move on and let the older ones have space and little ones have their space

To the folks who do this all the time: surely learning how to share/take turns, rather than just moving away when anyone comes near, is a pretty important life skill?!

I think they might be doing it so your child can have a go too. That or they're not very social. I get a bit anxious sometimes when other kids want to play with my son and the parents come over, but that's probably just me because I'm anxious and shattered all the time anyway.

I'm also covered in tattoos and I'm now wondering if this would keep people away from me. I haven't really noticed anyone behaving oddly around me when my tattoos are out though, which is nice.

Bit of a self fulfilling prophecy, surely? I think part of the point of the park is that children have to learn to take turns and play together...*

Hmm I got screamed at because my daughter accidently knocked another child at a park (she’s has asd and looks a lot older than her age) so I tend to prefer to avoid confrontation. I’ve also had my child hit before by others so I will continue to just move them away.

I think I probably do this. Here are the likely reasons:

I’m assuming the child wants a turn on whatever but of equipment DS is using and so I don’t want to look like we’re hogging it.

I’m worried that the other mum might see her DC playing with my DS and take the opportunity to have a quiet sit down and I don’t want the responsibility for refereeing my DS and another kid to fall to me.

I’m really tired and want to just sit on my arse and watch DS pretend to drive the toy tractor for ten minutes without being forced to make small talk because our DCs are playing together.

I’m grumpy because I hate the bloody park and find it boring and, usually, cold.

It’s never ever about the other child or the mum. It’s everything to do with my tiredness and general lack of social graces in that setting!

I was always (and still am) happy for my dd to play with whoever she attaches herself to at the park, I wouldn’t move her away from equipment unless it’s something that only one child can use and someone else wants a turn. Grown ups can be weird, I remember my dd toddling over to watch when a mum was playing 0&X’s with her child at soft play and the mum repeatedly manoeuvred herself to block my dd. Weird as fuck, dd was 18 months old at the time and just curious.