To think mothers at the park are anti-social

[Annieandboys]

My ds has just turned 2. He absolutely loves playing with other children. He is kind and gentle with great manners, he plays very well.
I can't help but notice a pattern occurring when we go to the park. Whenever he approaches children the mother (never experienced this with father's) stands up and says to the children "come on, let's go and play over here" she then proceeds to get up and move to another peice of apparatus. Generally the child is curious and very willing to play with ds but the child is then again called away.
I just don't understand. This has happened so many times now.. I thought we are suppose to encourage our children to socialise and play together. It breaks my heart to see my little boy confused as to why he can't play.
aibu, am I being paranoid, does this only happy to me?

Make an effort to be a bit more friendly and sociable, don't stand a bit away with the pram. You should be near wherever your toddler is. If you want him to stay confident and sociable you have to be that way too.

My 2 year old is the same and we've never found this. My boy even goes as far as trying to hold the other parents hands and following the children around but they all seem to be friendly enough and we always end up talking to who ever he has chosen for that park session. We are in the park every afternoon and it hasn't happened once. Do you go there often? Must feel very hurtful. Hope it improves.

Just wanted to add op that I also have a baby as well as a 2 year old and he is always in the pram. I do push it around with me to the different equipment and hold 2 year olds hand etc. I wouldn't think someobe with a baby was trying to palm their 2 year old off though. I've found people are really helpful if baby starts crying and I have to get him out and ds wants to get onto something. They generally ask.if it is ok to lift him then pop him on the thing. I must add that I do live in a village (a huge one though) so wonder if people are just slightly friendlier as we have lots of community events. Mind you, I've never normally met them before.

dreamyflower

My 2 year old is the same and we've never found this. My boy even goes as far as trying to hold the other parents hands and following the children around but they all seem to be friendly enough and we always end up talking to who ever he has chosen for that park session. We are in the park every afternoon and it hasn't happened once. Do you go there often? Must feel very hurtful. Hope it improves.

This is exactly the reason why people are moving away from you. Sometimes I don't really like being at the park with my own kids without having to look after another's. I met a parent who didn't seem to care about her child's safety and the kid was trying to hug me and hold my hand and follow my kids, in the future I completely avoided her and went to a different park. It's dangerous for a child to be willing to hold a strangers hand, honestly I could have kidnapped this kid before the mother noticed.
Also agree with the soft play thing, I played with mine in soft play until at least 5, they preferred it but always I'd get the other people's kids wanting to play because the parents rather ignore them and play on their phones.

Deafdonkey that's unfair. The OP and dreamyflower have said that they were seeing to their babies not looking at they phones, plus they're close by and watching their children well enough to see how other parents are treating them.

Please tell me how you're supposed to breastfeed or bottle feed a baby and run around after a toddler?

I did just about every childcare task with a youngest breastfeeding including following my eldest round the park. Eldest has severe autism so it was essential.

Nope my DCs wouldn't let them get away with it anyway.

They are like little stalkers and when we go to the park it's the general public's turn and I get a break.

They especially the heavily tattooed. They make best friends in a matter of moments, with parents and children alike.

My toddler can't leave anywhere without befriending everybody. He's a precocious little socialite.

I would find parents of smaller built children definitely try to move away and sometimes make it obvious they don’t want a tall toddler near their small ones. I often found It’s more the case with parents of one child or 2 children close in age. I think once you’ve been through it you are more open to allow new friends to play and not be the umbrella parent in quite such force.

@Coolcoolcoolcoolcool OP said she was standing by her pram. The pram has wheels. She can move to be with her child. Or ditch the pram and get a carrier. But either way many many people don't want someone else's two year old bothering them.

I do this for several reasons. I don’t want to socialise with other parents, I’m with my kids and it’s our time. I don’t want to have to make them stop their rough play for a smaller child - we want to go fast sometimes. I don’t want to be responsible for another child and finally I don’t want to have to interact with a smaller child - mine are 5 and 7 and whilst they do seem to attract smaller ones wanting to play I don’t want to have to converse with said toddler - anti social and miserable maybe, but my time with my children is more important

@SingleMumScum I'm a single parent I've been one since before dd2 was born .

It might be upsetting to see him confused that he carnt play. On the other hand older children shouldn't have to modify their style of play to suit a 2 year old. Older kids 3/4 plus enjoy boisterous play in tne playground which is not suitable for a just turned 2 year old. Your child is small for such a short space of time when he is older you will understand it's not always appropriate because he will be the one getting annoyed by younger kids when he just wants to be boisterous.

I don't particularly like other peoples peoples kids so don't want one which is smaller than mine following us about.

When dd was a tot I didn't want others pushing her - big ones weren't malicious, just enthusiastic, and as she got bigger didn't want her pushing tots. Also tried to encourage sharing etc, let's give someone else a turn.

Most of the time at the park I was exhausted and didn't want to talk to anyone else, and once everyone was big enough to play with just keeping an eye from a distance, bollocks to supervising someone else's child.

I confess that I'd have been like that when my DDs were younger. (They're 10 and 7 now so this situation no longer arises.) They were always very active and I was afraid oh them having an accident or causing one. I was also always too focused on that to chat to other mums.

I also had to cope with SS involvement for quite a bit of the time, as the adoption application process takes over 6 months post placement and they do ask questions about accidents.

I hope I didn't upset anyone! It wouldn't have been my intention at all, and I'm sure it isn't for the mums you're talking about either.

I meant 'afraid of them' not afraid oh them' - darned predictive text'!

Wait - if you say that - I am generally stood away with the pram (have a newborn too) so I'm not looking for chit chat, I'm a nervous person myself and prefer not to make small talk. then perhaps they are sensing you dont want to talk? I wouldnt approach you if you were stood far away with the pram - i would assume you didnt want to talk.

@Coolcoolcoolcoolcool
I didn't say she was, that was a separate paragraph about soft play. From this thread it's clear most people are not happy looking after someone else child at the park. Additionally trying to hold a strangers hand is dangerous.

My DC are older now and I will move them along if a younger child wants to play because it’s fair to do that and I don’t want them hurting the smaller child by accident.

Have you omitted to mention you are the local crime lord’s moll, or something?

She could also be the local crime lord herself - just in the interests of equality

I did this when ds went through his hitting phase. It wasn't personal, just to protect other children from. his unpredictability.

Op I despise going to the park and if I do go it tends to be as a last resort to entertain dc and clear my head. I often throw on whatever I have and no makeup if I'm having a shit day. So no I don't want someone up close and personal when there is a big park to play in and you want to chat.

What parent enjoys the parent.

I think parents are cautious, in some cases a cute kid joins you before you know it, you're minding 3, they're more than welcome to join, as long as DM is near and isn't performance parenting.
Also depends on the DC, my DS to solid aged 4, I wouldn't like to helicopter parent,
but id be wary of him playing with a toddler.

Oh the last time a DM stood outside the playground but a large breed dog, watching her young DD try to hang out of everyone.

In my case it would be because the unwritten rule at my local park is that if a child stars hovering near a piece of play equipment, it means that they want a turn and if your child is to young to notice/share without massive amounts of help, then you move on to something else

This