AIBU to email Head about Class Ambassador decision?

[wingingit001]

Sorry for the long rant! My son attends a school that has in the last year introduced a Class Ambassador (CA) system whereby every half term one boy and one girl from each class is given a badge and called a CA. They must be a 'role model' in order to get it (well-behaved, smart, polite, try hard in class etc etc). They get to sit at the back of the class on a chair (rather than on the carpet) and take the register to the office, for example.

Now, here's the issue - the CA for the last half of term has been awarded to a boy who has already received it during this Academic Year.

As a parent I find this decision extremely exclusionary and unfair; I fear that it is being taken too seriously (especially given it is Year 1) and it could be seen as favouritism which I am sure is not the spirit in which the scheme was originally intended. Let’s assume that there are 30 children in the class and half are boys. With one being awarded it twice, that is TEN boys in one class of five and six year olds who are so poorly-behaved(?) that they are not worthy of the role. It’s one thing a child missing out because there are more children than chances, but to give it to the same child twice is a blatant declaration that the other boys are so far from being role models that they can’t possibly even be given a chance. TEN boys?! I find this really quite hard to believe. How poor must their conduct and behaviour have been all year that the Teacher has had to give it to the same boy twice??

As a comparison, Sports Day is now non-competitive so that the less physically-abled children are not excluded, yet a system has been introduced that is being poorly managed to the point that it has become discriminatory and knocking the self-esteem of children without exemplary behaviour and/or who may manage their emotions less well than others their age/have additional needs and therefore probably won’t ever be considered a role model.

The system as I understood it, should give a boy or girl six chances in an Academic Year to become CA. If that boy or girl is at the school from Year 1 to Year 6 (Reception don’t do it), that’s 36 chances to become a CA. I am already concerned for what the impact could be on a child if they have to sit in class and hear 36 TIMES that they haven’t been picked?

Please note that I did NOT expect my son to get it. Whilst his behaviour is not terrible (get told whenever I ask at Parent's Eve that he is well-behaved "on the whole") he has had a couple of incidents in the year where he has been silly (albeit only from what he has told me).

AIBU to think the system is unfair or should I just get over it? It could be that the NQT has just made a silly mistake but another parent has told me that it has happened in another class. I am not the only parent who is miffed about it.

I've asked my sister who is Head of Year 1 at another school and she said her parents would 'kick off' if the same happened at her school and 'rightly so'. I'd therefore be interested to hear from other Teachers/Heads.

Thanks in advance.

He’s in Y1 you say . Please don’t e mail the head about this, you will look ridiculous. Pick your battles.....

I would point it out to the head, yes. But this might be a simple oversight due to teachers focus being elsewhere due to the stresses of teaching. They might not have thought about the impact.

How are they chosen?

Perhaps the kids vote?

Please don't be that parent

I doubt your 5yo son gives a shit tbh

No, don't email the Head about this. You are - perhaps understandably - thinking about your son missing out.

If they have a parent forum (or something similar, it's quite likely as schools like to show 'engagement' with parents for OFSTED purposes) that would be a better place to raise the issue. I've attended parent forums and raised queries about reward schemes such as this.

I would calmly raise it with it the school.

Take the lead from frozen op - let it go. You will sound abit deranged if you raise this. You have literally years of this being picked or not for things lying ahead of you you’ll exhaust yourself !

It’s annoying but let it go.
What difference will it make anyway? They can hardly take it away from the boy whose been given it this half term and choose someone else.
Next year your child will have a different teacher.
If there’s a parent group or whatever you could in the future raise a general query about the scheme and how it’s going and if hypothetically they try and make it fair by not awarding it to the same person twice. (And how star of the week or golden leaf or something would be a much better idea as many more or even all the children would get a chance!)
But if you raise it now, specifically about this boy, you will look like a dick.

Seriously?

I think you are putting too much emphasis on this.

I’m a supply teacher and a few weeks ago I was in a class where I had to oversee the voting for school council. I asked the, who wanted to do it and then they voted. I told them who won and they went to the meeting at lunchtime. I had absolutely no idea who had been on the school council before.

I remember being heartbroken when DS was chosen to be a chair monitor instead of register monitor in Y1. In the grand scheme of things, it really wasn’t important - it’s not going on his CV.

The reward for being well behaved and responsible should go to the child who is most well behaved and responsible, the sports day trophies should go to the children who are fastest, strongest, best at jumping, the award for music should go to the child with musical talent, the academic award should go to the brightest child, the award for kindness, teamwork etc to the children who display these characteristics and so on. We shouldn't remove all competition we should just reward different strengths.

Yet another reason why I would never work in a primary school. Calm down dear and get something genuine to worry about 😂🤦‍♀️

I really think yabu.

Children need chances to excel but also chances to feel disappointment. Its very important in development. Resilience is built through meeting challenges and finding ways to deal with them.

Even if a child hears 36 times that they are not the class monitor - the process of dealing with disappointment, refocusing and reflecting - is more important than the outcome.

As a parent you would be better to highlight and model the skills needed to cope with challenge positively.

Getting the outcome you want by complaining is teaching your child when things don't go your way - whine.
Is that really the behaviour that you want to model?

As children will pick up much more from what they see day in and day modelled by their parents than they ever will be motivated to good behaviour by being offered to be CA for half a term.

Are you sure it's not voted by the other children?

Its normally the children who vote for them, or at least in my DC school it is. I think YABU to even consider contacting the Head over this. You are teaching your child to be a sore loser, instead congratulate them and teach your child about working as a team to bring the best out in each other.

Nooooo. Keep out of it. You will look ridiculous

Savoy, we always exclude anyone who has been a councillor before from standing again or being voted on. They can vote, and I select one of them to tell the class about what the job involves, but they can't do the job more than once.

It still means there are children who will never have the job throughout their time at school, but at least it does give as wide a group as possible the opportunity to take it on.

Savoy I think your example shows how rubbish that is.

The children vote. So the popular kids always get it. So the less popular never get a chance to develop skills or show what they can do.
At DDs' primary you couldn't be on school council twice.

OP I would write a nice, calm email pointing out how demotivating this will be for children, and please could they consider their policy for future terms.

Talk about being THAT parent.

I think you need some perspective!

Well I think you should say something. It will sound a bit petty but I hate stuff like that. At my kids school it's always the same ones who get picked for everything. My daughter is one of them and it's very unfair.

Unfortunately you have already discovered that life isn't fair. We can all tell you tales of the kids that always get picked for special duties, to star in the play etc. It happens not because teachers are deliberately upsetting you but because they either have forgotten or what a reliable go to person.

YABVU and will look ridiculous if you email the head about it .. don’t do it

You should just get over it.

There will be far tougher things that will happen to your child in his life and some of them you will have to overlook too.

Sorry YABU. Why shouldn’t the same boy receive the award twice? Maybe he earned it! Trump might be allowed 2 terms in office 😹
If this boy displayed all the behaviours to earn the accolade then the others can learn from his example. IMO it would be a pointless system if just passed around the class. If it was the case that you only had one term then once you had a turn there would be no incentive to try hard in future.🤷‍♀️