AIBU to email Head about Class Ambassador decision?

[wingingit001]

Sorry for the long rant! My son attends a school that has in the last year introduced a Class Ambassador (CA) system whereby every half term one boy and one girl from each class is given a badge and called a CA. They must be a 'role model' in order to get it (well-behaved, smart, polite, try hard in class etc etc). They get to sit at the back of the class on a chair (rather than on the carpet) and take the register to the office, for example.

Now, here's the issue - the CA for the last half of term has been awarded to a boy who has already received it during this Academic Year.

As a parent I find this decision extremely exclusionary and unfair; I fear that it is being taken too seriously (especially given it is Year 1) and it could be seen as favouritism which I am sure is not the spirit in which the scheme was originally intended. Let’s assume that there are 30 children in the class and half are boys. With one being awarded it twice, that is TEN boys in one class of five and six year olds who are so poorly-behaved(?) that they are not worthy of the role. It’s one thing a child missing out because there are more children than chances, but to give it to the same child twice is a blatant declaration that the other boys are so far from being role models that they can’t possibly even be given a chance. TEN boys?! I find this really quite hard to believe. How poor must their conduct and behaviour have been all year that the Teacher has had to give it to the same boy twice??

As a comparison, Sports Day is now non-competitive so that the less physically-abled children are not excluded, yet a system has been introduced that is being poorly managed to the point that it has become discriminatory and knocking the self-esteem of children without exemplary behaviour and/or who may manage their emotions less well than others their age/have additional needs and therefore probably won’t ever be considered a role model.

The system as I understood it, should give a boy or girl six chances in an Academic Year to become CA. If that boy or girl is at the school from Year 1 to Year 6 (Reception don’t do it), that’s 36 chances to become a CA. I am already concerned for what the impact could be on a child if they have to sit in class and hear 36 TIMES that they haven’t been picked?

Please note that I did NOT expect my son to get it. Whilst his behaviour is not terrible (get told whenever I ask at Parent's Eve that he is well-behaved "on the whole") he has had a couple of incidents in the year where he has been silly (albeit only from what he has told me).

AIBU to think the system is unfair or should I just get over it? It could be that the NQT has just made a silly mistake but another parent has told me that it has happened in another class. I am not the only parent who is miffed about it.

I've asked my sister who is Head of Year 1 at another school and she said her parents would 'kick off' if the same happened at her school and 'rightly so'. I'd therefore be interested to hear from other Teachers/Heads.

Thanks in advance.

You should definitely bring this up with the head exactly as you have described the issue here, exactly like this. Definitely also make double sure you report back and let us know how it went

I concur

At our school the children vote for two positions class ambassador and for a place on the school council. Dd currently holds the post of ambassador and gets to show people round the school and has a badge. Real power lies in the school council though

Haha, parents are so pathetic, how do teachers cope?

So you think it should be a privilege based on behaviour, yet, all kids should have turns being chosen, whatever their behaviour?

Better to just randomly draw names from a hat then. But wait, then it is no longer an award for good behaviour.....

Just chill out.

My DC have never been Mary or Joseph, never been prefect or won awards. They are not hearbroken

Oh op.

My Dd was in year six at juniors when she won star of the week. She was a nice, hard working bright girl. This was the first time she had won it. I can't begin to calculate how many times she "hadn't been picked"!

I explained that it was given to Cody all the time (she won it about every other week apparently) because the teachers really needed to encourage her if she behaved well. Dd understood. Phew. She seems to be fine now (almost 18 and doing A levels).

Seriously op, let it go.

awwlook
I wouldn't mind betting the get a grip brigades are the ones whose kids are always the star turn ect ect and are included in everything

Honestly no - my kids rarely even get gold sticker in Friday assembly. They definitely don't get main roles in the school play & have never been class rep. None of us are all that bothered about it.

Op YANBU but this isn't one battle I'd not bother to fight given its Y1.

To all those recommending OP write a "calm" e-mail - its unclear how you could word such an e-mail by virtue of the subject matter. Anything she writes, however, calm it may be in prose will come across as ridiculous given it is Y1 she's writing about. It'll almost certainly mark you out as 'that parent' and indeed anything that arises in the future however, serious or immaterial will always appear as though you arriving with the cavalry.

You're right its not fair when its the same kids getting picked for everything.

fine, but so far it's only a child who has been picked up twice for a CA role...

This sort of thing happens a lot. Popular kids got chosen for the yr6 play. Same ones, who always get picked. Dd pissed off. I cannot believe her friend wasn’t picked. I coached 3 of them and have professional acting training. The kid was good....

I dislike any role that involves a vote by pupils because it becomes a popularity contest and the same child/ren always "win". My son was never chosen for any of these things and in the end didn't bother putting himself forward for anything because he was so demotivated. Thankfully, at secondary school things have been different. On the flip side to that I have another child who seems to be chosen for everything.
If you feel strongly about the system then yes I'd email, I certainly NEVER worry about being "that parent". I couldn't care less about that title!

I agree with the posters who said those who deserve these accolades should get them. Otherwise, it encourages children not to try once the have achieved.

My son was once chosen to be a prefect (in Year 1) -- pretty much the same responsibilities as you list, OP. He wanted to try again next year and was told "of course, he should apply; but he won't be chosen". What kind of lesson is that? It's the same as everyone getting medals at sports day for "taking part". That gives out the message, there is no point in trying, you get a medal anyway. We are human, and less effort is always appealing, so people will stop striving for the better! Why try when you are rewarded anyway? It's terrible idea. A bit of competition is important and in our nature.

wouldn't mind betting the get a grip brigades are the ones whose kids are always the star turn ect ect and are included in everything

Not my kids either.
They usually barely even notice, but if one gets slightly bothered, I just explained once that the kids who are always picked are the trouble makers who need to be molly cuddled and they are fine with it.

To be fair, their schools are pretty good, there's not "favourite" such as described by some posters.

OP, for someone who is concerned that this is being taken too seriously, you are, er, taking it very seriously. I guarantee no child will be keeping track, if indeed the school keep this system up and don't replace it by the next "in vogue" reward system next year.

I wont tell you how my DC's (granted secondary) school organises its sports day, or you will likely consider it a case for social services.

What kind of lesson is that? It's the same as everyone getting medals at sports day for "taking part". That gives out the message, there is no point in trying, you get a medal anyway.

exactly!

We’re currently waiting to hear which 4 boys and 4 girls in Y5&6 get picked to compete in the Senior School Sports Day - now that’s one it’s worth getting your knickers in a twist about

I wouldn't complain, but as suggested if you are concerned have a quick word with the teacher to ask how the system works.

In my daughter's school they had a job for a week, then got swapped around.
She is in the juniors. After lunch has been eaten, a few of them can volunteer to put the chairs etc away. She enjoys dd oung it, and they get a little treat from the lunchtime staff too.

but surely they shouldnt all get the chance.i get we have to try and treat kids fairly in day to day things.to big up those 'naughty' ones so they can see what happens when praise is given to them instead of the usual scorn they might get elsewhere. but if your a little shit and dont desrve it then how can you possibly be given the role.this will then be teaching them that there horrible behavior is rewarded with a top role.

As a teacher, I will be willing to bet that if it’s teacher-chosen, the teacher will have forgotten that that particular child was already the CA.

Because it’s likely one of those elements of the job that we HAVE to spend time organising, but that don’t really feature very highly on our extensive list of priorities.

Just don’t care about it, OP, it’s really not important.

OP I’m a teacher and think you’re getting a bit of a hard time here as it’s not an ideal situation BUT you also need to get a bit of a grip!
I agree that in Year 1 the CA shouldn’t be repeated for the same child and one of the other boys could get it for ‘really improving his behaviour’ or something. The class could’ve been told “X could’ve had it twice, I’m so impressed by his behaviour” etc. To make it clear how great he is. However, PLEASE don’t go straight to the head! It’s so over the top and quite frankly rude and undermining when parents do this before having a chat with the teacher. You say the teacher is an NQT? Well if you want to make them stress out massively when they probably have reports to write and their final observations coming up, then go right ahead and complain about them to their boss - but only if you’d be fine about someone doing that to you in your job.
I’d recommend though that you have a genuinely friendly conversation with the teacher and ask if this is policy or just a mix up. They will either bluff, panic or if you seem normal and approachable may even admit they made a mistake and accidentally picked the same child twice! We do cock up sometimes - we’re human.

I remember being heartbroken when DS was chosen to be a chair monitor instead of register monitor in Y1.

School performances and sports days are always the worst. I've been heartbroken on a regular basis throughout my dc's school careers - the injustice of it all!

Yes, I can easily believe 10 boys in the class aren't well behaved.
I would give the award of best role model to, the best role model, regardless of how many times they've had it.

@Bottomofsmughill has it.

I cannot stand parents like this. My DD in Reception has been given such an accolade 3 times since she started school last September. Why? She has been singled out as a calm, kind and enthusiastic role model who spends lots of time supporting her less able peers to the delight of her teachers and the snidey comments of fellow parents who feel she is being treated favourably. She is not. By comparison, my year 2 DC is 'that' kid who doesn't sit still, has trouble concentrating and is basically always being told to 'calm down.' Would I expect year 2 DC to get an award as such over a pupil who models behaviour such as my reception DC, never!

Credit where credit is due.
Work harder with more effort where required.
Do not complain. Teachers know their students and award/discipline accordingly.

I don't think yabu OP, I'd definitely raise it but not with the head. Are you able to have a quiet word with your child's teacher or send them an email. My daughter has similar but they are done daily and work down the register so that children get multiple times a term to be the leader, take register back, sit on the bench etc. Maybe suggest something similar?

Also, I agree with @Bottomofsmughill.

You see this all the time on Mumsnet: WHY do minor situations such as these immediately warrant contacting the head?! Depending on the type of school you’re in, this can be an absolutely horrible thing to happen to you if the SLT are the sort who won’t back you up, but rather align themselves with the parents against your practice.

Seriously. Would you want someone to go to your absolute big boss first, if you had possibly committed a minor clerical error?

My very grand friend breezily explained to her disappointed son when he didn’t get star of the week yet again that “in our family we don’t need external validation “ which is actually a pretty good value to try to instil!