AIBU to email Head about Class Ambassador decision?

[wingingit001]

Sorry for the long rant! My son attends a school that has in the last year introduced a Class Ambassador (CA) system whereby every half term one boy and one girl from each class is given a badge and called a CA. They must be a 'role model' in order to get it (well-behaved, smart, polite, try hard in class etc etc). They get to sit at the back of the class on a chair (rather than on the carpet) and take the register to the office, for example.

Now, here's the issue - the CA for the last half of term has been awarded to a boy who has already received it during this Academic Year.

As a parent I find this decision extremely exclusionary and unfair; I fear that it is being taken too seriously (especially given it is Year 1) and it could be seen as favouritism which I am sure is not the spirit in which the scheme was originally intended. Let’s assume that there are 30 children in the class and half are boys. With one being awarded it twice, that is TEN boys in one class of five and six year olds who are so poorly-behaved(?) that they are not worthy of the role. It’s one thing a child missing out because there are more children than chances, but to give it to the same child twice is a blatant declaration that the other boys are so far from being role models that they can’t possibly even be given a chance. TEN boys?! I find this really quite hard to believe. How poor must their conduct and behaviour have been all year that the Teacher has had to give it to the same boy twice??

As a comparison, Sports Day is now non-competitive so that the less physically-abled children are not excluded, yet a system has been introduced that is being poorly managed to the point that it has become discriminatory and knocking the self-esteem of children without exemplary behaviour and/or who may manage their emotions less well than others their age/have additional needs and therefore probably won’t ever be considered a role model.

The system as I understood it, should give a boy or girl six chances in an Academic Year to become CA. If that boy or girl is at the school from Year 1 to Year 6 (Reception don’t do it), that’s 36 chances to become a CA. I am already concerned for what the impact could be on a child if they have to sit in class and hear 36 TIMES that they haven’t been picked?

Please note that I did NOT expect my son to get it. Whilst his behaviour is not terrible (get told whenever I ask at Parent's Eve that he is well-behaved "on the whole") he has had a couple of incidents in the year where he has been silly (albeit only from what he has told me).

AIBU to think the system is unfair or should I just get over it? It could be that the NQT has just made a silly mistake but another parent has told me that it has happened in another class. I am not the only parent who is miffed about it.

I've asked my sister who is Head of Year 1 at another school and she said her parents would 'kick off' if the same happened at her school and 'rightly so'. I'd therefore be interested to hear from other Teachers/Heads.

Thanks in advance.

I wouldn't mind betting the get a grip brigades are the ones whose kids are always the star turn ect ect and are included in everything.

Nope. She gets about one certificate a year , she was sheep,random star, random angel in the nativity plays, didn't win any type of competition (except for the short race this year in Sports Day),never a reader , on school council etc. And she is a good,well behaved,polite ,hard working kid.
She's fine with it so I'm fine with it. I reward her at home if and when I see fit. She needs to be all those things for herself and her future, not so that she can win random things at school.

No one puts on their CV class ambassador in Y1.

Thank you God for allowing me to be a retired teacher.

Surely the best behaved should be the class ambassador and not a case of its Billy's turn this time because he hasn't won it yet - taking it in turns makes a mockery of the role. It's the opposite of giving the badly behaved kids a reward for being good for a day when there are kids that are good every day a get did all.

Pick your fights - this is not it!

It sounds like some kind of prefect system. These things are often unfair and it’s more of a life lesson really. At ours (secondary), a notorious bully was made a prefect! The well behaved studious kid he bullied got nothing.

Year 1?! LOL

I think yanbu and I'd raise it with the teacher rather than the head, in a casual chat. Roles like that shouldn't be given out twice in the same year while there are other children who could be awarded it.

They should pick up the kids in alphabetical order, and keep going from year to year so they ALL have a chance. Parents can get mad at themselves for picking the wrong first name and little Timmy had to wait longer than little Arabella to be chosen.

Problem solved.

I wouldn't mind betting the get a grip brigades are the ones whose kids are always the star turn ect ect and are included in everything

Nope. My child is no star. He’s tricky and has Autism. I think it’s more helpful to help them understand how to deal with disappointment and deal with actual injustices and to stand up for themselves.

My son finally got his 25 house points last week - most of his peers got it at the beginning of the year. He was congratulated, got an ice cream and we moved on.

He’s 5/6 - this is not a big deal.

And I usually have zero qualms about being ‘that’ parent.

One of my children is that child who always gets picked for these things (my other two aren't). I spent sometime feeling bad about it, but then another mother in his class pointed out that he is ridiculously hardworking, helpful, kind, and gives his time to pick litter at school and in the local community. She told me that her son had said "there's no point in going for that X will get it." And she asked him why he thinks X gets these things, and he could see exactly why. From then on I could see that it wasn't a case of favourites but simply a case of recognition. Of course it annoys his older brother sometimes, but he totally understands what he needs to do to get the same recognition.
None of my children ever win at sports day, never get picked for teams or to represent the school, and they all understand why.

Yes YABU (if you'd not worked that out, 4 pages in).
You need to unclench.
You are FAR to invested in this.

You are right in some ways. I personally think it is a ridiculous system to have just 2 dc to be given a 'special job' once every half term - far too long to act as a motivator for anyone (which is kind of the point of reward systems). Would make far more sense to have a 'helper of the week' and leave it to the teacher's discretion as to who they choose and why.
However, this is teaching all over now - nothing left to the professional judgement of the teacher. No common sense applied by management, and a (fortunately small, but always there) % of parents who will not trust the school to do their job, and will not possible contemplate using times when things don't go their child's way, to teach a bit of resiliance, or a bit of perspective.

"E-mailing the head" is completely ridiculous and OTT. Please don't.

It's far too nebulous a concept for a 5 year old! And over the period of half a term?! That's an age for a kid of his age.

However, a rewards system at that age should be an opportunity for everyone to take a turn to shine/be rewarded - ideally on a weekly basis. I do think that having a fair number of turns at being recognised for trying your best at something is the best motivator at that age.

After two successive years (yr 2 and 3) of our DD being continuously ignored it had such a negative effect on her motivation she stopped trying and genuinely thought she wasn't very good at anything (having previously done very well at her 1st 2 years at a different school). She turned from happy confident school attender to tearful, reluctant, quick to anger child (obviously not helped by the general lack of teacher attention she was getting).

So whilst you might be slightly over-reacting to this one incident, do keep an eye on it and do ask the school whether this is the best way to motivate a class of 5 year olds.

Oh my god please don't. He's not going to get everything in life, despite his mum protesting, and sometimes life gives you slightly shitty but overall pretty minor things.

As my wee granny used to say, save yer tears for bigger sorrows.

I fear that it is being taken too seriously (especially given it is Year 1)

I think you're right!

get told whenever I ask at Parent's Eve that he is well-behaved "on the whole"

Hmm, I think I'd try to read between the lines here and work out what's not being said.....

None of your business - it is a school matter.

Our (marvellous) head teacher is leaving the profession. The rumour going round is that constant shit like this from a handful of parents has played a part.

I think it's a slightly odd choice of system, but given they have chosen to implement a merit based system I think it would be unfair to award it on anything but merit. If this boy is genuinely the best role model/politest/best behaved then of course he should get it.

Based on your OP there is no reason your son couldn't be well behaved if getting this role matters to him.

Hahahahhahahahaha. Year 1. Your in for a long ride buddy.

When my kids were at primary school everg class had star of the week. And a different child was awarded it every week. By Y2 every child was of the opinion that only those that received it in the first couple of weeks truely deserved it and after that it was a question of finding reasons for a child to get it rather than a child doing something so noteworthy it was deserved. So it became a meaningless award. Far more motivation was the class marble jar where once the class had a certain amount of marbles they got a treat afternoon.

i do think it was better though without this 'role' stuff. this right and privalage was givento us more on a daily basis.so we would get to take the register when whoever was picked has been good on that day or that lesson etc. it opens it up more to all people too.

i do think it was better though without this 'role' stuff. this right and privalage was givento us more on a daily basis.so we would get to take the register when whoever was picked has been good on that day or that lesson etc. it opens it up more to all people too.

I'm a teacher and actually I would bring it up - a quick word with the teacher rather than emailing the head though. It's probably an oversight but I would want to know as these sorts of things do matter to the pupils. If it was my class I would probably allow there to be two boy class ambassadors just for this half-term.

we also had a school planet system.like hogwarts style points system.
so all the school had five planets.and each person in each class was put into a planet group then over the weeks and months we were give indiviudal points but they would go into the planets kitty.
so you were always accountable for the whole team.but god did we try hard to get points.

Out of interest, how long did it take you to compose that lengthy and verbose Opening Post?
I think you might be over-thinking the whole thing.
And yes, it is entirely possible that there are ten poorly-behaved children in the class. In fact, last year, if my school has run such a system, I'd have been hard-pressed to find anyone at all to award.

Omg you need to calm down!

If this is how you are over such a minor issue, this early on in your child's school career you are going to make yourself and your child extremely anxious unnecessarily.

Do NOT say anything at school, you will only be viewed as "that parent" and given a wide berth and likely not taken seriously - or not as seriously if/when you have a genuine concern to raise.

This is absolutely nothing in the scheme of things.

"We shouldn't remove all competition we should just reward different strengths." Totally agree with this.

"I wouldn't mind betting the get a grip brigades are the ones whose kids are always the star turn ect ect and are included in everything" dd is now 18, she did well at some things and not so well at others. My job as a parent was to support and encourage her to do her best but also when she didn't "win" a thing to shrug it off and be gracious. She also has a physical disability that wasn't DX until high school, she struggled with pe and sports days achievement wise but I encouraged her to support and cheer on her more sporty friends (who tended to be less successful in other areas she did well at) as "isn't it good everyone has something they're good at. Nobody is good at everything"

I've also been involved in a voluntary basis with children of school age and dealt with parents like the op complaining that their kids didn't get to be patrol leaders or get a lead spot in a drama production etc - there's usually good reasons why to be quite honest. But this sort of parent isn't usually exactly open to hearing those reasons.

To wit:

"Whilst his behaviour is not terrible (get told whenever I ask at Parent's Eve that he is well-behaved "on the whole") he has had a couple of incidents in the year where he has been silly (albeit only from what he has told me)." The teacher I suspect is saying as diplomatically as possible (because if they were honest they'd get a load of shite!) that your boy needs to improve his behaviour - rather than moaning "but it's not faaaaaair" your energy would be better spent addressing this!

Clusterfukt 😂😂 ohhhh that's naughty!

"Maybe this award is to recognise that the good kids who get on with their work, dont misbehave are quiet and helpful often get overlooked so actually deserve some recognition for that" I was thinking that which is a good thing if so!

Too often the badly behaved kids get the most attention and the good kids slip through the cracks.

This is a brilliant thread, OP.

You've made my evening.