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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be actually scaed.. help (genuine)

127 replies

ArtOfGettingBy · 03/06/2019 22:33

Last night at 4am, DP & I were woken by a phone call on his phone. He answered and someone told him 'I'm going to kill you, i'm going to slit your throat and sleep with your mrs'.

This evening, another call from the same voice 'is this (DP's name), i'm going to come and smash your house' and then DP put the phone down.

Both calls from blocked number. We called 101 but because it's not a significant amount of calls, they won't start an investigation yet and to just ring 999 if anyone dodgy is outside.

DP has gone to bed and i'm fucking petrified. We have done nothing to no one which would cause death threats. Part of me wants to believe it's just someone being stupid with him/us but I can't help worry someone is going to come.

How do I manage this anxiety in the meantime?

OP posts:
oneforthepain · 03/06/2019 23:08

Paraphrasing, but harassment/stalking is a course of conduct offence (hence the comment about it needing to happen more times before they'll act) but there are other offences that cover threats like this that aren't course of conduct offences...

I think you got crap 'advice' from the call handler on this occasion. They may not have understood what you were telling them or understood enough of the law to respond more appropriately. They should have been paying attention to the content of the calls not just the frequency.

Zilla1 · 03/06/2019 23:08

Sorry to hear that, OP.

In my ignorance, I'd try to encourage some action by contacting your MP and police area's Police and Crime Commissioner. Ask them if two death threats with sexual violence should warrant any police action because you've been told the police can't be bothered and won't take the time to check on the number. It might achieve nothing given police resourcing.

bowtiepasta · 03/06/2019 23:10

Have you had any big life changes recently- moved house or changed job?

LateVictorian · 03/06/2019 23:11

@Pgqio

If that was to me I said ...

"The truth will always come out anyway of where it has come from, why and whom.. when it does please press charges"

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 03/06/2019 23:12

Recently moved. Why do you ask

OP posts:
LateVictorian · 03/06/2019 23:12

I of course know she will anyway..

Qweenbee · 03/06/2019 23:13

Do you have neighbors you can call for help if necessary who may respond quicker than the police if necessary?

bowtiepasta · 03/06/2019 23:13

Could it be the buyer/seller/landlord etc of your new/old house? People can get very wound up about perceived injustices with things like buying a house and can get them in a vengeful mindset. Did you have any issues with anyone in the process?

IvanaPee · 03/06/2019 23:14

That’s one of those prank apps!

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/06/2019 23:14

The best course of action to begin with is to make it boring for the caller. Don't answer any blocked numbers and hang up without speaking if they do get through.

It's a million times easier to say threatening things on the phone anonymously than to actually enter someone's house. It's a huge line to cross and if someone hated you both that much you'd likely be aware of it.

Merrymumoftwo · 03/06/2019 23:15

Could you ring 101 again and ask to report malicious communications? Don’t use the phrase harassment and once reported ask phone company to change number in these circumstances they don’t usually charge

Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 03/06/2019 23:16

DP spoke to this person before he started saying things. This person confirmed his identity and it was not a pre recorded message.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 03/06/2019 23:17

A prank app that knows your name? How is that at all funny or legal

LateVictorian · 03/06/2019 23:17

"Sleep with your mrs" is a very strange term. I'm sure we can all think of more sinister ways to say that. I'd think your DH knows this person. This isn't some unknown.

^completely agree with this. And you say your husband has just gone straight to bed? Sorry to sound harsh but could this be someone he knows? If I we was having death threats my DP wouldn't just go to bed.

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 03/06/2019 23:18

I think your partner is hiding something. You can't be together 24 hours a day so there will be something you don't know - and his response to it is a bit odd.

Bishbashthrash · 03/06/2019 23:18

I had nasty calls a few years ago. I rang my phone provider straight away and got the woman to give me the number. It might depend who you get as I rang a few times and was told no chance but then I spoke to a lady who was very helpful. Person got a bloody shock when I rang them back.

Doyoumind · 03/06/2019 23:18

Did your DP say his own name the first time he answered though? Could that not be how they got his name?

sabeeena · 03/06/2019 23:20

your DP went to bed Shock

I'd be waking him up and asking what you are going to do!

are you sure he has no idea who it is, he sounds very calm.

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 03/06/2019 23:21

Sleep with your mrs" is a very strange term. I'm sure we can all think of more sinister ways to say that. I'd think your DH knows this person. This isn't some unknown.

Totally agree with this too. It jumped out at me straight away. I think your DH is lying to you.

GettickledGETTICKLEDbyspiders · 03/06/2019 23:22

I had a quick google and it sounds like a prank

to be actually scaed.. help (genuine)
Original poster
ArtOfGettingBy · 03/06/2019 23:22

No they asked ‘is that (DP name).

He’s not hiding anything. He just is the type who thinks he can take anyone on.

OP posts:
Mummyshark2019 · 03/06/2019 23:25

Is your OH asleep OP? If they do call again, I would pick up the phone. Reason being is so that you could call the police to come. Then it would have been three times and they will have to do something. I can't believe they won't track the call after two calls. Stay armed and stay alert. You probably won't get much sleep tonight OP so won't be in a state to.work tomorrow. Could you not just jump in a cab and go to your mum's and take tomorrow off?

December2019 · 03/06/2019 23:25

Omg I have no input but this is bloody terrifying!
I have 2 huge mastiffs guarding my house and I still wouldn't feel very safe after receiving those calls!
Stay safe op, I would definitely get a few friends round (safety in numbers and all that)

Eastie77 · 03/06/2019 23:29

He may think he can take on anyone on but saying "let them come" and then going off to sleep when you are terrified is not very supportive.

The caller knows your DP by name and has specifically threatened you with sexual violence. Don't you think it odd that your DP isn't a bit more concerned on your behalf?

MimiRose01 · 03/06/2019 23:29

@ArtOfGettingBy those prank call apps are VERY convincing. They usually start with ‘is this so and so’ they pause between sentences to allow you to talk back.. download one yourself and listen to a sample call. When you want to prank someone you enter their name and a few other details to make it sound real. This really sounds like a prank!