To report someone for benefit fraud.

[Isitsummeryeticantwaitanymore]

Overheard a conversation between DH and DSS's mother. Basically before DSS started school, DH paid a large amount of maintenance she then met a partner and moved in with them DH reduced the payments (still above CM level) as it became apparent that not all the money was going to DSS. He has since discovered that durning this time she was also claiming full benefit. AIBU to report this?

Report what? A rumour?

As for reducing the maintenance I’d take what I was entitled to and not be in a position that I have to explain to my ex how I spend it!

What are you hoping to achieve? Would you like your dss mum prosecuted/sentenced? Hugely frightening:life changing for him or would you prefer her to receive a financial penalty and therefore his standard of living may decline?
What an awful stepmom you are!

You do realise that child maintenance isn't taken into account for benefit payments?
And, its none of your business what she spends the maintenance on as long as the child has what it needs

Incidentally maintenance isn't meant to be spent exclusively on ds! She can spend it in the pub if she wants, as presumably she will still need to pay all bills and provide food & clothing with 'her' money!

I think what OP means is she hasn't told authorities "she's living over the brush"!

I would stay out of it, it’s your DSS mother your talking about. You need to have his interests front and centre

Yes report her if you think you must. But don't be a shit about it. Let her know you're going to do it.

What positive will it bring to your life? What negative do you think it would bring to your dss?

You know that you can get maintenence and benefits right?

You sound pretty nasty actually.

Maintenance is not counted towards benefits because arsewipes like your OH and meddlers like yourselves think you can dictate how it's spent.

I have reported and I would again. Not in this instance. Your description makes you sound really spiteful.

Yes report her if you think you must. But don't be a shit about it. Let her know you're going to do it.

And don’t be surprised when she’s cross and it ruins the relationship between your dh and dss and then when dh gets depressed because he doesn’t see his son as much it’s effects your relationship with dh.

Win win

The fallout for your stepkid will be awful. How can you even think of deliberately doing something to destabilise their life?

YABVU
Stay out of it because that is your step sons mother. In what way is reporting her going to benefit you? You might have a momentary thrill that you've got one over on someone you clearly dislike but in the long run it's likely to make the relationship with her much harder and also maybe with your stepson too.

You are probably talking about a small amount of money in the grand scheme of things but a hell of a lot of bad will.
It's not worth it.

Also she can spend maintenance on whatever she wants it does not have to go directly into stepsons hands it's to cover general living costs. It's not really any of your business what she spends it on as long as he is not being neglected.

Ahh yes, ‘full benefit’ that mythical thing invented by people who feel themselves superior to anyone who claims any benefits.
Report it if you like, if your stepchilds other parent annoys you that much. Nothing will come of it as you have no proof.

But when the money is being spent on drugs, that's ok?
I'll leave her to it then.......

How is it impacting on you?

Well aren’t you a delight.

You clearly only want to do this as she’s your DH’s ex

Maintenance isn't taken into account for benefits. So she wasn't frauding. No point reporting as she hasn't done anything wrong.

Also, not sure what you mean when you say that all the money wasn't going to dss? Was she failing to feed, house and clothe him? Or was he just not getting the cash as pocket money?

Yabu
Leave it be, you will just cause agro between everyone

Wow. She moved in with partner and continued to claim single parent benefit but the OP is the bad one here?
Sooner or later she will get found out if she continues to do it. The best thing is to 'advise' her to stop before she gets found out. If she doesn't then it's her that is bringing this on herself.

Ah, so the money was spent on drugs eh. What, all of it? If so, why did your DH leave his son in the care of a person who must be an addict? And, again, who fed, housed and clothed him? Irvine Welsh? Santa?

"Spent on drugs"...anything else to drip-feed as you were not getting answer you wanted?

Irvine Welsh

That’s a huge drip feed OP.

Bit of a stroppy drip feed there. So you overhead (earwigged) this convo which means you might have the wrong end of the stick. Clearly your DSS dad doesn't want to 'dob in his ex', certainly doesn't appear as desperate to as you. Has anyone seen her bank statements to know for a fact what's she is and isn't claiming? Or just busy body guessing.