To report someone for benefit fraud.

[Isitsummeryeticantwaitanymore]

Overheard a conversation between DH and DSS's mother. Basically before DSS started school, DH paid a large amount of maintenance she then met a partner and moved in with them DH reduced the payments (still above CM level) as it became apparent that not all the money was going to DSS. He has since discovered that durning this time she was also claiming full benefit. AIBU to report this?

And dss mother offered all this info willingly? Doubt it.

If it didn't come straight from the horses mouth, you have no idea it its true.

What kind of drugs are we talking here? I'm surprised you would rather report her for benefit fraud, rather than report her to ss tbh.

Are you going to take on full custody when ss gets involved? Or stand by and feel proud that dss is living in a hole with a drug taking mother, half the money they had before and ss keeping an aye on them?

I love that you care more about benefit money than the fact that supposedly your step child is being happily sent off to live with a "drug taker". Your priorities are worrying.

You're the reason stepmums get a bad name. You sound bitter and vindictive.

Its none of your business what she spends it on. That was quite the drip feed when you didnt hear what you wanted to hear so I doubt its true. Anyway it doesn't sound like she's done anything wrong as maintenance isnt counted.

The person you'll be hurting is your dss. Think about that.

DH reduced the payments (still above CM level) as it became apparent that not all the money was going to DSS

What a big man he is. If he cared about his son he'd be fighting tooth and nail for custody. But it's not about that, is it? Good luck with him... yikes.

I have reported and would again.

If it is benefit fraud then it affects us all. Our taxes are being used fraudulently.
That is not ok no matter what it is being used for.

If it is not fraud then no harm done. You can do it anonymously. Please report.

ooh, i bet shes a crazy ex too.

i think most of you have got so caught up in the maintenance issue you've actually completely missed the bit where the woman was claiming benefits whilst living with a partner.

the maintenance is irrelevant.

op if you had said "should I report my friend for benefit fraud" you would have got an overwhelming yes, you went wrong when you mentioned it was your dh ex.

Given the brutality of the current benefits system, anyone who grasses anyone else up to the DWP is a worthless piece of shit.

^This! And I'm a benefits adviser.

The money that goes in fraudulently claimed benefits is a drop in the ocean compared to the amount of tax avoided/evaded. When Amazon and their ilk start paying their fair share, I'll start worrying about the amount of money overpaid in benefits.

Should add that I always tell clients to notify DWP/HMRC of changes and get everything correct, even if it means they'll be worse off.

RE Lakes comment.
You heard that from the horse's mouth.

Given the brutality of the current benefits system, anyone who grasses anyone else up to the DWP is a worthless piece of shit

sorry but I think anyone knowingly making a fraudulent claim is more of a worthless piece of shit!

MN is batshit, you get berated for not telling a checkout operator if they haven't charged you enough because its stealing, but benefit fraud is absolutely fine!

and for all we know op and her dh may be in contact with social services, awaiting a court date to try and get custody, be going through mediation... you have all assumed that none of this is happening when it easily could be

Given the brutality of the current benefits system, anyone who grasses anyone else up to the DWP is a worthless piece of shit.

100% this. There’s no way I’d ever do their dirty work for them. Their vileness towards the sick, disabled and vulnerable is obscene.

Your step son lives with a woman and partner who are drug users, apparently on a grand enough scale that you are strongly implying that's where all their money goes, and your husband's concern was to pay less child support? And yours is benefit fraud?

Child maintenance isn't factored into benefit payments under the old system - not sure about universal credit but as you are talking a past situation, it wasn't fraud. Unless you are saying she claimed as a single person, while living with her partner? How do you know - and again, what about the impact on your stepson if you report this, anyway?

Perhaps a solicitor and/or social services might be a better use of your energies, if a child you and your husband are responsible for is living with heavy drug users.

Not really enough information here to judge whether you are being unreasonable or not. How much maintenance does your DH pay, how much money does his ex spend on drugs and how much does she spend on your DSS?

YABU - mind your own business.

Have you thought about the consequences to yourself?

Most likely DSS will hate you. You will always have someone in your home who is ready to plot against you. DSS will get closer to his father as he gets older and convince him to go out with him then convince him to cheat on you. You would be setting up the cracks for your own marriage to breakdown. Don't underestimate how this can come back on you.

Most likely DSS will hate you. You will always have someone in your home who is ready to plot against you. DSS will get closer to his father as he gets older and convince him to go out with him then convince him to cheat on you. You would be setting up the cracks for your own marriage to breakdown. Don't underestimate how this can come back on you

that is the most batshit thing I have ever read on MN.

JoanMavisIcecreamGirl

Hmm you might think so but I am very close to someone this has happened to. You attack the mother and the children try to break up the marriage of the father to his new wife.

riiiiiiiight. Why would the children even know?

and if the mother doesn't want to be attacked reported, she could have you know, not committed benefit fraud?

She moved in with partner and continued to claim single parent benefit

But she is a single parent. Her child is not her partner's.

And why does the system still behave as though women should be an appendage to their menfolk.

I don't know the legalities here but the system seems very strange and I would not support it by reporting.

It's different if someone is claiming benefits while working on the side, for example - although even then, it might be the only way they can make ends meet.

you're not classed as a single parent if your new partner is living with you, for benefits purposes.

do you really think it would be fair if you got the same amount of benefits you would if you were single, whilst living with a man as long as they are not the biological parent of your child?

but you'd be entitled to shit all if you live with the bio parent of your child?

how would you even enforce that?

So, when he reduced the payments, where did that extra money then go?! Directly to DSS, right?! Otherwise, your point is nothing.

Massive drop feed about the drugs! But your primary concern is the benefit fraud.

How long did she supposedly claim full benefits for?

You realise that the money doesn't go TO DSS, right. There are living costs in abundance......rent, food, clothes, etc etc etc

You sound bitter rather than concerned.

JoanMavisIcecreamGirl

The mother will tell her kids, no doubt. Kids aren't going to have the same moral dilemma, they're just going to see the mother become destitute because she falls on hard times and won't have access to benefits anymore. The kids suffer and blame the step mom, it's quite simple really.