Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report someone for benefit fraud.

96 replies

Isitsummeryeticantwaitanymore · 02/06/2019 23:46

Overheard a conversation between DH and DSS's mother. Basically before DSS started school, DH paid a large amount of maintenance she then met a partner and moved in with them DH reduced the payments (still above CM level) as it became apparent that not all the money was going to DSS. He has since discovered that durning this time she was also claiming full benefit. AIBU to report this?

OP posts:
awalkintheparka · 03/06/2019 00:14

But how is it fraud that she's claiming benefits?

OwlBeThere · 03/06/2019 00:17

I think the OP is saying that she was claiming benefits as a single parent whilst living with a partner. It doesn’t actually have a thing to do with the maintenance her husband pays his ex.

awalkintheparka · 03/06/2019 00:19

But how does she know what the partner is earning etc. By all means report OP but you may not get very far.

Also I was all for it until your massive drip feed. You don't care about the claiming or the drugs (otherwise you wouldn't leave the child with her) you just want to get one over on her

BasiliskStare · 03/06/2019 00:21

Errr , yes - if you really honestly think DSS's mother is spending all of her money on drugs , the maintenance is the least of your worries. I assume your DH will have this in hand , because when all is said and done it is he who will have to make the call ( by which I mean decision - not an actual telephone call) If it were me , I would be more concerned about DSS being OK rather than worrying about benefits if your fears have ground.

ReanimatedSGB · 03/06/2019 00:22

Given the brutality of the current benefits system, anyone who grasses anyone else up to the DWP is a worthless piece of shit.

CJsGoldfish · 03/06/2019 00:23

But when the money is being spent on drugs, that's ok?
Seems a mighty big thing to throw out there ONLY when things didn't go your way. IF it were true, I'd completely judge you and your DH and wonder why the child isn't living with you. Surely you'd fight to the ends of the earth to make sure the child isn't living in a drug filled environment? If spiteful and malicious actions are more your thing, that poor child has no hope.
it became apparent that not all the money was going to DSS
This is such a bullshit sentiment thrown out way too often. It's petty and ridiculous.

Freddiefox · 03/06/2019 00:23

Well why not get the police or social services involved? And then take her to court for residency of dss?

Or?

Freddiefox · 03/06/2019 00:24

Actually:

Why are you leaving your dss to live with someone who deals drugs? That could be your AIBU

Freddiefox · 03/06/2019 00:24

Sorry she’s not a dealer

HUZZAH212 · 03/06/2019 00:24

It does just all read as sour grapes and nasty accusations. Also the indignant that the ex was (and is) getting paid above minimum child maintenance. Good grief!

PositiveVibez · 03/06/2019 00:25

But when the money is being spent on drugs, that's ok?

Yeah okay. That's happened 🤔

Don't report her for benefit fraud, report her to the police for taking drugs. I mean, surely you and your husband would want full custody of the children rather than leaving them to live with a drug taker???

Bluerussian · 03/06/2019 00:26

What would you get out of reporting her? Nothing. Don't. You probably don't know the full facts anyway but stay out of it please, not your business.

Mycatisthebest · 03/06/2019 00:28

Agree with previous posters. You don’t seem to care about your DSS at all it just seems to be the money that is bothering you. You are coming across as the wicked stepmother 🤨

Graphista · 03/06/2019 00:34

For starters maintenance isn't included with benefits calculations and hasn't been for a good few years now. So if that's your basis for thinking she was claiming fraudulently you're plain wrong!

Secondly her finances are none of your damn business anyway!

"Basically before DSS started school, DH paid a large amount of maintenance" really?! Enough to cover 50% of ALL costs pertaining to dss?

"as it became apparent that not all the money was going to DSS" which aren't always "obvious" costs! I suspect you mean visible things like clothes, shoes but that child also has to be housed, fed, washed, heated, their clothes washed, provided with appropriate and necessary furniture, equipment, toys, books, entertainment...

Yea right!

"she then met a partner and moved in with them DH reduced the payments (still above CM level)" the legally required amount is a MINIMUM it's a guideline only. And pretty shit to be honest. Your DH's ex's new partner has NO financial responsibility to dss legally or morally so to reduce the maintenance on that basis is also shitty.

If you DID report her it wouldn't just affect her it would affect dss too - nice!

Her benefits would be stopped pretty much automatically while "investigations" took place and it's murder to get them reinstated especially now.

Why would you want to do that to dss?! To anyone actually.

"I think what OP means is she hasn't told authorities "she's living over the brush"!" If so OP can't possibly know this for definite, but that's certainly not how I understood the op.

"Maintenance is not counted towards benefits because arsewipes like your OH and meddlers like yourselves think you can dictate how it's spent." Actually it's because when it was being included children were being plunged into poverty because so many nrps wouldn't/didn't pay in full reliably and regularly. I fell under this system for a short while, if my ex paid £5 it was assumed by dwp he would pay the full amount he was meant to and continue to do so and so my benefits were reduced by the amount he was supposed to be paying me penny for penny leaving me seriously short! To the point I was going without food and desperately needed clothes/shoes.

"Ahh yes, ‘full benefit’ that mythical thing invented by people who feel themselves superior to anyone who claims any benefits." Yep!

"But when the money is being spent on drugs, that's ok?" Aye right! You've thrown that grenade in cos you're not getting the answers you wanted!

"Given the brutality of the current benefits system, anyone who grasses anyone else up to the DWP is a worthless piece of shit." Hear hear!!

You just don't want your husbands money going to his son - no more than the legally required minimum anyway.

Yea you sound a lovely stepmum 🤔

Gingerkittykat · 03/06/2019 00:44

My ex reported me for fraud to tax credits, I had not been fraudulently claiming them but the 12 weeks they stopped my benefits for caused a huge amount of stress for me. It also led to DD missing out as I simply didn't have the money to give her the things she needed.

How did he find out she was claiming full benefits? I doubt if she would advertise it.

You sound spiteful and nasty, and any action is likely to fracture the relationship between your partner and his ex even further.

BeansOnToastTwiceOver · 03/06/2019 00:45

Let it be.

Reign in your hurt. You don’t want to hurt the child. You’re not that sort of woman. Remind yourself you’re not.

RubberTreePlant · 03/06/2019 00:50

There's nothing to report.

All CM is completely disregarded for benefits purposes.

ffs74 · 03/06/2019 00:57

I'd need drugs if my ex was married to you Grin

HiJenny35 · 03/06/2019 01:01

She is spending large amounts of money on drugs but you aren't asking should I report that to the school, social services, the police, try to get her support or protect your SS but you are concerned about her claiming benefits??? I think you need to reassess your priorities.

Nat6999 · 03/06/2019 01:01

You don't know that she is committing benefit fraud. If she is on contribution based benefits, it doesn't matter what other money is coming in. If she is claiming tax credits as a single mum, unless her partner is earning loads, she will still get the same amount of child tax credit if she claims as a couple. The only person who will suffer in real terms is your step son, your other half has already reduced what he pays for him even though his clothes & everything else still cost just as much as they did when his mum was single. You are just being bitter about this & in reality taking it out on a child.

cherryblossomgin · 03/06/2019 01:04

So your DH is ok with his son staying with a drug user?

DioneTheDiabolist · 03/06/2019 01:07

Please report her and give all the details you can: another partner, drugs, current maintenance and no proof that it's all being spent on DSS OP.

That way the relevant authorities can be sure what their dealing with. a jealous arse who hates that her partner has children and a past

PortiaCastis · 03/06/2019 10:51

You can't report hearsay or gossipy rumours don't be so nasty

DaisiesAreOurSilver · 03/06/2019 11:01

Yet another kicking from the first wives club. So many bitter women.

Of course report her. She's breaking the law. People can't pick and choose which laws they obey.

stucknoue · 03/06/2019 11:04

If you think that dss is at risk it needs to be reported and you need to be prepared to take on full custody if social services decide she's not a fit parent. By benefit fraud I'm guessing sh didn't report that her partner had moved in, if this is still on going there's a anonymous tip line you could call but I'm far more concerned about the drugs you mentioned. Really your only concern should be for dss's welfare