To think mixed sex dormitories in hostels are unacceptable

[FannyCann]

I don't mean the accidental mixed sex where someone is presenting as the opposite sex, I mean all in together.

DD1 is travelling around Australia, mostly staying with friends or Airb&b. But she booked herself into a hostel in Sydney for one night and didn't realise she hadn't specified women only until she got there and couldn't change due to lack of availability. She was nearly in tears phoning home next day - the guy IN THE BUNK below her had sex all night. She felt very unsafe and was very upset.

I mentioned this at work and a colleague agreed her daughter had had similar terrible experience. The drunk man in the bunk above her had fallen off in the night. Turned out he was a homeless man who had wandered in and helped himself to an empty bunk.

Met up with a friend yesterday and she said her son had also been appalled. This time it was the behaviour of the girls, bringing randoms in and having sex all night. He was in Bali and went and slept on the beach before moving into a hotel.

So that's a quick three out of three terrible experiences.

I had no idea mixed sex accommodation was now the norm in these hostels (aside of double rooms/family accommodation obv). It's obviously unsafe and unpleasant.

DD is in a lovely airb&b with a friend now until her flight home and has learnt from the experience. But really I see no reason why this has become the norm. It's terrible.

Also re hotels, the place I felt most unsafe in was a hotel in Bangkok (pre-booked, in days before internet and tripadvisor, not cheap) where the room was a windowless room high up in a tower block. I suppose we (travelling with girlfriend) could have requested room change but we didn't think of it. And of course in the event of a fire jumping out of the window wouldn't exactly have been a lifesaver. But I checked the fire alarms, the fire escape routes and didn't sleep a wink.

I stayed in both single sex and mixed sex dorms when I travelled the US, I found the mixed sex ones fine - a bit of snoring and occasional fumbles but I put earphones in and was normally quite shattered from the day so fell asleep easily.

Sorry your daughter had a horrible experience but hostels on the whole are very safe, at least from now on she knows to specify single sex. But I’ve known of women to sneak men into their single sex dorms too!

If you are gonna be precious, buy her a room at the Hilton. She will not have to share with anyone

It’s not precious to require a single sex space.

The OP is unreasonable to say that mixed sex dorms are unacceptable. Her daughter wasn’t unreasonable in making a mistake - it happens - and choose to spend the night elsewhere.

@Pieceofpurplesky It was a lovely place. I also remember the huntsman spiders though . Maybe that's why I don't remember the shower arrangements - too busy looking out for spiders. I also remember a snake though I'm not so squeamish about snakes beyond obvious caution in case they are poisonous.

The whole point at that age is to be mixing with people though. OP sounds like her daughter should be segregated and not have to deal with mixing with different people

Hearing about a murder in the vicinity of where you are visiting and mistakenly booking yourself into a mixed dorm are not the same thing.

I always stayed in mixed sex dorms when I travelled Australia 13 years ago, great way of meeting people - still friends with some of the guys now! I only ever felt unsafe once when the only room available was a 4 bed room, it ended up being me and three guys. If she feels uncomfortable then she's learnt a lesson and will in future book herself into female only rooms.