AIBU pregnant & turned away from training

[MimiKoko]

AIBU to be ticked off ? Please forgive me very pregnant and a little hormonally emotional- if there’s such a thing. So I have a seasonal job which requires me to attend a training session before I can commence the short term contract - training was today a Saturday- I was meant to be there at 10am a nice hotel - quite far from where I live got there 33 minutes late because I had a bad night- couldn’t get up on time - public transport on a Saturday in London isn’t the best either - nothing in confirmation email said if you’re late you will not be let in - got there after they ladies at the door “conferred” I was told can’t come in after lugging laptop etc all that way - I’ve done this job for years not particularly taxing, offered to make the time up at lunch - transport was quite expensive being London - now lost the contract as can’t do it without attending the training - just majorly annoyed at subtle pregnancy discrimination - need the money and really would not have been late on purpose - being on the underground there’s no contact number to ring whilst enroute.

Plus of course the fact that everyone else in the room had managed to get there for the start time, despite the "poor" public transport.

FFS, complaining about public transport in London. Try literally everywhere else in the country. And set your alarm earlier if you can’t get up in time.

Bullshit. No problems with public transport in London. I used it today. Plan better. The world doesn’t revolve round you. And it won’t revolve round your pregnancy or your baby when it arrives.

Of course you could get up on time! You just chose not to. It’s nothing to do with being pregnant and everything to do with being massively late.

Transport in London is amazing. Saturday morning there would be no problems at all, as long as you checked that some lines weren’t partially due to maintenance.

Good grief, surely this is a joke. I am pregnant, have a toddler who refuses to sleep and yet I still manage to make it into work on time every day. I don't live in London either and I can assure you (since I have to spend a lot of time down there for work...for which I have to get flights...for which I also have to be on time by the way!) that public transport is much worse here!!

YABU!

If they had let other non pregnant people in late but not pregnant you then you might have an argument about discrimination.

But not being allowed in because you were late is in and of itself not pregnancy discrimination. You knew the score and didn’t get there on time. Being ill and unable to sleep in pregnancy is par for the course you either suck it up and get up early enough to get there on time or don’t go.

YABU

This isn't even a little bit discriminatory. You fucked up, we've all been there. You were very late, you couldn't complete the training. I understand you're upset but there's really no one else to blame for this but you.

Pregnancy discrimination: Saying you can't take part or have to leave because you will be on Mat Leave when the training skills are going to be needed. Or that in order to get your certification you have to participate in a not-essential physical activity that is unadvised for a pregnant lady.

Reasonable behaviour: telling participants that if they are late they will not be let in, and then not letting late participants.

You had a bad day, and I sympathise, but everyone else managed to get there on time.

you were late.

That’s why you wasn’t let in. Nothing to do with you being pregnant

It's silly things like this that give pregnant women/mothers a bad name in the work place.

You weren't allowed in because you were very very late and presumably would be half an hour behind the other people on the course. It also shows disrespect. Why should this be acceptable because you're pregnant.

I was late to a training course once (less than 10 minutes) and I phoned ahead to apologise and ask whether I could still attend. I didn't use the transport excuse. You know you need to allow extra time for transport on a Saturday so allow it.

There is plenty of discrimination against women and against pregnant women and against mothers in the workplace. I wanted to sympathise. However you just rolled up very late because you didn't get out of bed in time. Not letting people who roll up over half an hour late in to a scheduled training session isn't pregnancy discrimination.

Please don’t be that person.

Subtle pregnancy discrimination, my arse. You were late.

"Wouldn't have been late on purpose" and "couldn't get up on time" is a bit of a contradiction. If the job was that important you would have been there on time. It's annoying not to be let in, but not discrimination.

Theres no discrimination subtle or otherwise.

If you really needed the money you would have got up.

It’s not discrimination at all, you were just late due to not leaving early enough, if you can’t get up on time that’s on you. I got the 6.45am train up until 8 1/2 months pregnant with a 17 month old who refused to sleep. I did the same with my first child too only it was the 6am train then! I didn’t rock up late for work because I was totally shattered, if I couldn’t manage it I needed to go on mat leave early, I struggled on instead. I had to go to bed as soon as I got in from work and sleep for a couple of hours.

You can’t play the discrimination card when you are just late, pregnant or not.

just majorly annoyed at subtle pregnancy discrimination
Why not tell us about that in your OP?

I don’t make a habit of being late actually and I have been in previous sessions where people have been let in quite late but again I appreciate it’s their prerogative to decide if they want to make an exception or not and when I say a “ bad night” perhaps I’ve put it quite lightly in what’s been a very difficult pregnancy - and again I planned my route etc it wasn’t just couldn’t be bothered to drag myself out of bed on time as some of you so nicely put it just venting wasn’t planning on taking it further but again thanks for all your very helpful comments. Again pregnancy for some people is quite tough so yes I do think women should be given a break under difficult circumstances even if it’s not “discrimination”

"I do think women should be given a break under difficult circumstances even if it’s not “discrimination”"

I completely disagree. YABVVU

No, being pregnant doesnt mean they have to let you in.

What if someone was an hour late?

If you are so I'll with pregnancy, missing lunch isnt a good idea either.

If they had said that was fine and you fell ill you would be moaning then.

The rest of world doesnt have to revolve around your pregnancy.

At 30 mins late for the training course, I'd have turned you away, too. It's not the greatest first impression of you as an employee, is it? The phone call excuse doesn't wash - you knew you were likely to be late when you got up late, so why not call and explain the issue and the reason then?

Unless the bad night was caused entirely and only by pregnancy symptoms, which you have not had until then and couldn't either have foreseen or treated, then it just isn't relevant.

And even if it was, its not a blank cheque - the law prevents less favourable treatment and requires adjustments, yes, but the word that almost always gets missed out by people looking to use it as a free pass is 'reasonable'.

Given its manifestly not unreasonable to refuse to admit someone late with no notice, then to prove discrimination in this case, you'd have to successfully argue it would have been reasonable to delay the whole course start to accommodate the symptoms of your pregnancy.

People have difficult pregnancies and get to work perfectly on time ALOT earlier than 10am.

Also, I live in London, transport is great. Always check the night before in case a line is down. I’ve been late due to transport here like 5 times in 20years and those were rail replacement days.