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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday other mum

138 replies

hipslikecinderella · 01/06/2019 07:46

In a goregous holiday bungalow with another family. Men went out to play golf at 7am, my dcs woke up and made some noise.
Normal noise, but other mum came out of her room mad and begged "please let my child sleep a bit longer, its seven o'clock!"
To us this isn't early.
We're in an open plan bungalow which they booked. It's a bit ridiculous imo to be precious about sleep at this time of day?

OP posts:
MissEliza · 01/06/2019 13:43

Early risers think they're morally superior to others. I heartily agree. When my ILs stay with us, they're up at 6 or even 5.30. They don't seem to appear to not make noise to wake us. They get my dd up at least an hour earlier than she needs to. My dh actually changed the door on their room to try to make it less noisy! They then take a nap about 4ish and go to bed at 9. My MIL thinks this makes her better because she's not lying around in bed.
Similarly we've shared a villa with the PILs and BIL and his dcs. The little ones were getting up at 6 and making noise. They're not silenced because ILs think lie ins are the work of the devil. I have three dcs who are older with busy schedules and look forward to summer holidays to relax. It's really not fair. The first summer we ever stayed with them was the first I ever had a migraine due to continually interrupted sleep. I now refuse to stay with them.

Yabbers · 01/06/2019 14:22

Pfft to all the silly children who were asleep at 8 wasting half their lives in bed!!!!
Yes!!! DH and DD will often make comment about me having a lie in on the weekend. Oh how lazy. Of course, they forget I am up much later than them, either working or doing something around the house. She’s in bed by 8, he’s in bed usually by 10 at the latest. He’s a ridiculously early riser. But he feels more virtuous about being up so early. Also conveniently ignores the mid day nap he has.🙄

MaybeitsMaybelline · 01/06/2019 14:48

We used to find this really hard when mine were younger as my friends DC were sleepers, and they were loungers. Whereas mine didn’t sleep, and DH and I are early risers.

Much easier to have your own smaller space where you can get up at the crack of dawn, get breakfast go out and have a coffee all before the late riser family open their eyes.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 01/06/2019 22:18

I’m aghast at the thought that some parents of young children can keep them asleep until after 7am to be honest. We never could with ours even if they went to bed late!

Isthisafreename · 01/06/2019 23:30

@Mushypeasandchipstogo - I’m aghast at the thought that some parents of young children can keep them asleep until after 7am to be honest.

Agast seems like rather an extreme reaction. What on earth is shocking or horrifying about children with a different sleep schedule to yours?

blackteasplease · 01/06/2019 23:46

7 am is incredibly early to be making noise.

My ds 5 would need to sleep longer than that on holiday - and I would expect to be able to too!

BackforGood · 01/06/2019 23:55

The OP said that her dc "were getting their breakfast", so it doesn't sound like they are tiny tots.
So yes, they sound like they are old enough to grasp that in shared accommodation they need to read or do something else similarly quietly if other people are still asleep.

However YAB V U to agree to share some accommodation with other people without checking these things too. I would NOT be impressed with people waking me up when I was on holiday and didn't need to be up. Presumably you will not be impressed with having to tip toe around for 2 hours after you would normally get up. Therefore, daft to share accommodation as no-one is going to go home having enjoyed it.

elephantoverthehill · 02/06/2019 00:11

So Op, what time will you be up tomorrow and out on the golf course with the other Mum?

missminagrindlay · 02/06/2019 00:23

This is why I'd never holiday with another family and share accommodation. Early birds due my nut, mostly because they're so fucking self-righteous about it.

missminagrindlay · 02/06/2019 00:24

do, sorry.

Davespecifico · 02/06/2019 00:30

If the weather’s ok, you could have a morning walk with your children and get back at 8,30ish.
Next time, discuss schedules in advance.

Time40 · 02/06/2019 00:34

Oh Jesus, OP - I would think you were the holiday neighbour from Hell. Noise at 7am? NO!

Sorry!

missminagrindlay · 02/06/2019 00:35

Of course not, Dave because many larks believe their way is the best way and the only way and people who want to sleep in are lazy and deserve to be punished, so they inconsiderately wake everyone up rather than bother to think others are different from them.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 02/06/2019 00:53

I'd be mighty pissed if someone else's kids woke me up at 7am on holiday.
I'm a night owl. Loved working latest. Hate getting up for work/school runs etc.

Luckily both my kids are like me. Eldest never up before 9.30 if not at school.

managedmis · 02/06/2019 00:56

You need to take the kids out as soon as they are awake. Even if it's 6.60am.

Brutal.

managedmis · 02/06/2019 00:58

BUT, just to add, I'm assuming your kids go to bed early?

Then people need to be quiet earlier on in the evening to let them sleep.

Tit for tat and all that.

MyKingdomForACaramel · 02/06/2019 01:02

I can’t remeber where I read this but I recall a quote that went along the lines of “early risers are always right - if you get up oast their schedule it appears you most apologise”. (Said firmly tongue in cheek). Op - I got up at 5am this morning - would that have been an ok time to wake up your children!”?

lhastingsmua · 02/06/2019 01:16

I think 7am is much too early for loud & rowdy kids.

And, yes, I work full time and wake up at 5/6am so 7am isn’t particularly early for me. However you’re not at home getting ready for work at 7am - you’re on holiday. It’s completely normal and respectable that other guests don’t want to get up at 7am on holiday! It’s supposed to be a relaxing break from everyday life.

Also, I specifically said loud and rowdy in reference to your children because it’s the sort of noise that you can’t really sleep through or get back to sleep after being disturbed by it. High pitched voices, screaming stomping, heavy running etc. It’s awful.

Ferii · 02/06/2019 01:19

7am is early in our family so I wouldn't be delighted to wake up to another person's child on my holiday. You weren't to know that on the first day of course but now you do can you take your child out to the garden or a local park for an hour as a compromise?

SunshineSpring · 02/06/2019 05:02

Loving these suggestions to take the kids into the garden. The neighbours are just going to adore that!
And I dont know about your local park, but ours opens at 7am.

My kids (its 7am now) have watched an hour of TV, and the big one is now making pancakes for breakfast.
Just as I wouldnt expect silence after kids have gone to bed and the adults are still up, I dont think you can expect silence at what is not a crazy early time in the morning. Noisy activities, for sure, should be stopped, but making some toast? TV on low? Reading a book? Any child that cant sleep through that is going to struggle.

LastChanceFinalOffer · 02/06/2019 06:11

I'm not a morning person and my DC sleep until 8.30am. They know not to wake others or make noise before everyone is up. I don't care if your DC normally gets up at 5am. It's inconsiderate to disturb other people especially when they're on holidays. Agree with PP take them to the local park or somewhere where they won't disturb others. It goes without saying that the same is expected in the evening after bed time.

Petalflowers · 02/06/2019 08:36

No where does it say op was being noisy, just doing morning routine stuff. (Making breakfast?).

LastChanceFinalOffer · 02/06/2019 09:02

No where does it say op was being noisy, just doing morning routine stuff. (Making breakfast?).

Op said "my dcs woke up and made some noise.
Normal noise, but other mum came out of her room mad and begged "please let my child sleep a bit longer, its seven o'clock!"

They were making enough noise to disturb the other mum. She was worried they would wake her DC. She wouldn't have had to ask them to quiet down otherwise.

frenchknitting · 02/06/2019 09:16

There are lots of threads lately where people don't seem to understand that other people keep different hours to them.

Both my DC have always been late sleepers and impossible to put to bed early. DS2 is still asleep now Smile, and I'm drinking coffee in bed. Which is nice, as I'm up at 5.30 in the week. It was less nice when he was wanting to chat at 9pm last night.

DC1 has always naturally kept those hours, no matter how much we tried to change them. DC2 probably fit in around DC1 to an extent, but has never really woke up early.

You really need to check these things before agreeing to go on holiday with people.

hettie · 02/06/2019 09:31

In our family we have an adult and a child who are night owls and an adult and a child who are larks. That is just the natural body clocks of all concerned and we are all considerate of each other. There is no way the early risers would wake the others up because it was 'normal' to be up at that time or morally superior Hmm. Likewise I wouldn't dream of playing music, loud TV or banging and bashing at 11.30 pm because it's early and you loosers shouldn't be in bed. Grin.
Tolerance, consideration and politeness are the way forward.

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