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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Holiday other mum

138 replies

hipslikecinderella · 01/06/2019 07:46

In a goregous holiday bungalow with another family. Men went out to play golf at 7am, my dcs woke up and made some noise.
Normal noise, but other mum came out of her room mad and begged "please let my child sleep a bit longer, its seven o'clock!"
To us this isn't early.
We're in an open plan bungalow which they booked. It's a bit ridiculous imo to be precious about sleep at this time of day?

OP posts:

Constance1234 · 01/06/2019 09:36

Lol I can't believe people think 7.00am is "Ridiculous" !! It's a completely normal time for children and for many adults too.

You sound like one of the ghastly types of people who cannot comprehend that other people may be different to you!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/06/2019 09:36

If your children are talking quietly and clinking cutlery then YANBU, especially if the dads got up earlier. Maybe you all need to play white noise when sleeping to mask the reasonable noise made by others.

Bluerussian · 01/06/2019 09:36

7 am too early for breakfast except when people are going to work which your children certainly are not. 9am early enough.

alittleprivacy · 01/06/2019 09:38

Lol I can't believe people think 7.00am is "Ridiculous" !! It's a completely normal time for children and for many adults too. Some people must waste half their lives in bed!

Are you hard of thinking? They don't spend extra time in bed because they sleep late, they are almost certainly going to bed later. My DS got up at 9am this morning. Not because he wastes half his life in bed but because he was at the roller disco until 9.30 last night. Then we went on an impromptu pokemon hunt because there is a Pikachu near the petrol station I went to and that's a big deal when you are 6 and love Pokemon. Pfft to all the silly children who were asleep at 8 wasting half their lives in bed!!!!

Teddybear45 · 01/06/2019 09:40

It doesn’t matter if it’s 7am or 9pm, if someone else in the house is sleeping basic curtesy demands you’re quiet. You were very unreasonable to not control your kids; rude too.

BuildBuildings · 01/06/2019 09:42

7am is super early for holiday especially. You can't assume they have tge same routine as you. I also fine literally everyone I've come across underestimates the noise their children make.

redspider1 · 01/06/2019 09:45

You know these people well enough to share accommodation. Why didn’t you discuss this bed you left?
Did you discuss how to split catering , shopping etc?

redspider1 · 01/06/2019 09:46

Before not bed

SunshineSpring · 01/06/2019 09:49

Heaven help me if I ever have to share a holiday with most of you.
My kids are way past "small children", but wake before 6 whatever time they go to bed. So a late night just results in grumpy, tired kids.

Breakfast at 7, with quiet chatter id say is fine. Getting out the pans to use as drums is not!

Tunt · 01/06/2019 09:53

People are getting hilariously furious on this thread! Wow. Who’d have thought getting up at a normal time and then doing normal things like eating breakfast would inspire so much rage?

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 01/06/2019 09:59

We're in an open plan bungalow which they booked.

Open plan bungalow? Bad idea.

It's a bit ridiculous imo to be precious about sleep at this time of day?

Different families have different routines. Sleep is always precious.

You’ll have to be super quiet I’m afraid.

I don't agree with that either. Both sides need to flex and find something that more or less works for both of you.

Next time look for adjoining cottages or a big living room with doors that shut properly. (Veteran of many successful group holidays here.)

CuriousaboutSamphire · 01/06/2019 09:59

Why is OP being slated here?

THE MEN WENT OUT TO PLAY GOLF AT 7AM

They woke the kids up. OPs kids got up, Other Mum wants her kids to stay in bed.

THE MEN casused the problem. The women can dowhat they want with that. But to tell OP she needs to keep her kids quiet as thogh sh cuaed the issue is just daft. You're asking her to be responsible for fixing what the men's actions did!

bluebeck · 01/06/2019 10:00

YANBU

So it was OK for the blokes to get up early and leave by 7, during which time they woke OPs DC. But then OP is supposed to keep her DC quiet until her friends DC are ready to rise? Bollocks to that.

OP has made it clear the children are quietly getting breakfast. Other mum needs to get over herself.

I do agree with PP that sharing holidays with other families is usually shit. Also, I would have had a conversation about this kind of thing before hand.

I wake early every day, even on holiday. I can't see the point of spending all that money just to lie in bed most of the morning, I could do that at home for free. I want to get up and out and exploring. Obviously I wouldn't holiday with a family with polar requirements.

I would clear the air with her and try to move on OP.

mindutopia · 01/06/2019 10:02

How do you make young children be quiet and stay asleep though? Fair enough if yours is 12. My 6 year old could manage a quiet hour or so, but my toddler is up at 4:30am screaming everyday. I wouldn’t think 7am is that early even for a holiday but mine have never been late sleepers. She can ask, but unless you were blaring techno and allowing yours to run around screaming, what can you do? I assume you were just making normal household noises.

We have houseguests at the moment. They get woken up at 4:30-5 by our youngest just like everyone else. If someone doesn’t like it, they can always pay for their own accommodation and I won’t be offended.

isthatabloborwhat · 01/06/2019 10:11

Men went out to play golf at 7am

A nice holiday for you then. Good luck with that one

Oh, and perhaps the other mum doesn't want her dc woken up by 7 because if they don't get enough sleep they will be crotchety and difficult at the other end of the day.

DingDongDenny · 01/06/2019 10:25

Lol I can't believe people think 7.00am is "Ridiculous" !! It's a completely normal time for children and for many adults too. Some people must waste half their lives in bed!

larks can be sooo smug can't they. You don't hear owls constantly going on about how you are wasting all that time going to bed early.

PlatypusPie · 01/06/2019 10:29

We were on holiday in a house with an odd layout that had a one bedroom flat carved out of part of the ground floor. Our then 2 yo got up at about 7.15 and ran into our bedroom and then just played quietly on a rug next to the bed. The bedrooms weren’t above the flat

. There was a furious knocking on the door and it was the renter downstairs, shouting than we had to stop the effing herd of elephants thundering around a such an ungodly hour. I apologised, saidI hadn’t realised that the sound would carry like that and would be more careful - though I was probably at fault for then saying, in a lighthearted intention to diffuse the situation , that they were lucky - she was normally up at 5am. Oops.

She’s was in such a fury that she carried on shouting that she would contact the owner and get us thrown out. I replied ‘Good luck with that’ and shut the door.

The owner, who lived next door, later said that the other tenant had already been the biggest pain possible about everything so not to worry. We did make sure that we were extra mindful about noise in the morning for the rest of the week - and restrained myself from complaining about the huge rows she and her partner were having - he spent most of the time sitting in the car listening to the cricket . Cheeky woman than tried to get a refund from the owner for their ‘ awful holiday’

Isthisafreename · 01/06/2019 10:33

@Bridget1983 - My hubby says he thinks us early risers think we’re morally superior to others

I have to say, I agree with him. Some of the comments on here claiming it's unreasonable to expect a bit of consideration at 7am, are reinforcing that view.

There is no right or wrong here in terms of schedule. The right and wrong is in consideration, or lack of consideration, for those you're sharing with.

alittleprivacy · 01/06/2019 10:33

My kids are way past "small children", but wake before 6 whatever time they go to bed. So a late night just results in grumpy, tired kids.

That works both ways though. My DS has the opposite sleep schedule. He is incredibly unlikely to go to sleep before 9.30pm and if he does he has a shit nights sleep. He needs to be left to sleep in the morning. That’s his norm. And it’s his norm to be up playing/doing activities until at least 9 at night. When we share a holiday house with friends on different sleep schedules we either stay out in the evening or go to bed early and quietly watch a movie. It’s about being considerate of other people not being indignant that different people have different needs.

lazyarse123 · 01/06/2019 10:36

I don't think yabu it's normal morning noise, what are you supposed to do? Gag the kids. We had this with dh we went with two of our dc, early 20's to a beautiful barn conversion without realising that every sound carried. We all went to bed while dh stayed up listening to music which wasn't loud but you could hear it everywhere. We bought him headphones the next day. Lesson learned.

alittleprivacy · 01/06/2019 10:38

My 6 year old could manage a quiet hour or so, but my toddler is up at 4:30am screaming everyday. I wouldn’t think 7am is that early even for a holiday but mine have never been late sleepers. She can ask, but unless you were blaring techno and allowing yours to run around screaming, what can you do? I assume you were just making normal household noises.

And what about at 9pm tonight when the other children are making their normal household noise and keeping the OP’s kids awake. That’ll be cool too right?

AnneTwackie · 01/06/2019 10:40

Sounds like it’s going to be a looooong weekend!

UnaCorda · 01/06/2019 11:04

To us this isn't early.

That may be so, but surely you can appreciate that not every family does things in exactly the same way? You're sharing accommodation with these people, presumably because they are friends, so why would you not want to be a bit considerate? I don't imagine they are sleeping just to cause you inconvenience.

HiJenny35 · 01/06/2019 11:28

7 am is too early for them and their kids.
My children 2 and 6 sleep till 9:30 on holiday and I'd be pissed if someone else's were waking them up at 7.
Waste the day sleeping???? Hate that, my father always said that because he chose to get up early and go to bed early. Erm no we just go to bed later on holiday, same amount of hours to do things.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 01/06/2019 11:35

7 am is too early for them and their kids Wel, it wasn't too early for the DH/Dad, was it? He was off and out!

It is too early for her.

Between them the 2 women are going to have to work this one out because their DHs aren't in, aren't being hassled by it. They just caused it! Not what I'd call a great holiday pairing. But hopefully they can keep civil enough not to ruin the weekend!

But, hipslikecinderella next time your DH suggests a holiday with them say no, unless YOU are the one who goes out nice and early and leaves him to deal witht he fall out!

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