If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

Yes. I think. No, definitely yes. I had a male gynaecologist when I had to have some biopsies taken from my lala and then have something else done which was years ago and I can't remember the name of. He was the loveliest man and made me feel so comfortable. If I was fine with that I figure I must be fine with male doctors doing anything!

There was a male GP when I went to university who was dodgy as fuck when I went to university - aged 30 - and I had a very unpleasant experience with him, but I wasn't put off all male doctors. Thankfully.

I've had good male doctors and good female doctors, with me it's being comfortable with someone and whose abilities I trust.

I always ask for a female doctor if possible, I just fed much more at ease around another woman.
I remember when I was in labour with DS1, all female staff in with me (high risk pregnancy) and I was so calm, relaxed (and drugged up!) everyone who came into the room commented on how tranquil and what a lovely energy there was in the room, until the last 5 minutes when a male doctor came in and I clammed up, contractions stalled and I ended up having an episiotomy.

I'm personally fine with male or female HCPs for me it's about their general manner (I've had both that were great and both who made me feel uncomfortable) however I understand the need for some people to request a female HCP so I think it should always be an option.
I suspect 2 difficult pregnancies and births, a late miscarriage + 20years asa regular outpatient with a long term condition ( I go to hospital at least once a month) with various in patient stays over that period has probably made me quite blasé about the gender of who I see, I tend to focus on how good they are.

It doesn't bother me remotely at all. I've had a lot of cardiac investigations in the last 12 months, a lot of which involved being topless around Doctors, nurses and x-ray technicians and I never once felt uncomfortable. They're just doing their job. And I doubt they enjoy the view remotely, if anything I may put them off women for life. I am sure it's far worse for them.

But we all have different boundaries and there is no right or wrong.

I actually find men treat me better then women in general ..
I just prefer to have my treatment by a man they are less irritable

For a basic GP appointment , say for a verruca then a man is fine. Smear test definitely a female nurse. In fact the last smear I had the nurse was a woman I knew, the mother of a friend of my DS, she asked if I wanted to change nurse as she knew me, but I said no that's fine as long as you're a female I'm good. If I had a female issue maybe a menopause issue I would try and book a female GP, but if not possible I wouldn't refuse a male GP.

It doesn't bother me at all but I'm a GP and assume (hope!) that male HCPs see and treat me in the same way i do male patients.

I’m so glad my youngest is treated with far more respect that you feel she deserves, StreetwiseHercules. I was asked yesterday, by the receptionist if I was happy to have a male doctor for her pill review, she has special needs so I have to speak for her. I didn’t mind as it was only going to be a check up with no intimate exam. I was asked the same today when I was at the clinic for her script, because I needed to check the appointment time, as I forgot to make a note of it.

The medical staff at her clinic ALWAYS check and do with genuine compassion. They respect her boundaries, yet you feel she’s not entitled to that?

I worked in the health service for 25yrs and I’ve heard the way some males talk about female patients. There’s no fucking way that I would let them give me of my child an intimate examination.

I can't think of a scenario where i wouldn't be happy with a male health professional. The only time I would ask for someone else would be if that particular individual made me feel uncomfortable, but the same applies to females as well

Interesting that so many people say, 'as long as they're professional, I don't care'. And then posters who know, or have spent time with male medics / students, confirm that they're anything but professional in their down time.

I really don’t care whether they’re professional on their downtime. Why should they be? It’s their downtime. I don’t really give a stuff what they say or do as long as they treat me with respect and care when they’re looking after me.

StreetwiseHercules is a bit of a wind-up merchant as seen on many other threads. Wouldn’t give their thoughtless and unsympathetic responses a second thought @S1naidSucks

For anything needing a breast or pelvic/internal exam I’d request a female carry out the procedure. Unless it was an emergency. I think my surgery must have a policy of only women doing smear tests though, because I’ve never been asked and it always has been a woman.

What if there simply isn't a female alternative

I've been through A&E as a frequent flier these past couple of years. I know your comment was directed at labour, I've been screaming in excruciating pain and a (male) doctor wouldn't give me any morphine until he'd done a digital rectal. I told him to go get a female, bastard left me screaming for over an hour. (Sexual trauma as a child).

is a bit of a wind-up merchant as seen on many other threads

Plus seems to have disappeared.

Terrible misnomer as apparently they can’t fight the rising odds.

Nah I know loads and loads of drs (I've been with dr DH for 20yrs) and frankly some of them are bonkers in their downtime but at work they are professional and completely different. I think the bonkers aspect helps with what is often a rather a rather difficult and sometimes heartbreaking job. (DH is an acute medical speciality so sees tragedy more than some specialities)

Terrible misnomer as apparently they can’t fight the rising odds

If it was anything gynae related I'd be embarrassed and ask to see a female doctor/nurse. Boob stuff is ok, and last time he got a receptionist to be in the room at the same time (new policy; am assuming in case you make a claim of inappropriateness towards male doctor).

I want someone who can empathise with the issues I'm experiencing, really don't care whether they're male or female. Had a fab male dr when I was hospitalized with hypermesis and a rubbish female nurse (blamed me for the fact that my veins were shot after 4 weeks of IV). Was a bit 'hmmmm; after a male gp thanked my for my 'topiary' during a smear test, and did ask that they removed all students when going through a difficult birth, but that was all students, regardless of sex, just got fed up being a sample case.

do appreciate p though, I've heard how male students refer to female patients and it's really not acceptable

I don't mind. I'm almost happier to talk to a male GP about female stuff as I feel he can't judge me!

I am, however, completely understanding that some women will have been through experiences which mean they would be uncomfortable.

Personally I've been fine with either for everything except smear test (or anything similar) when I always request a female.

I'm sure male doctors or nurses would be totally professional, but what can I say? The thought of it just makes me uncomfortable and being tense wouldn't exactly help with getting the job done as painlessly as possible, would it?!

For smear tests and birth, I prefer a female.

However, this is more due to previous trauma.

If I hadn't had certain things happen, a Male doctor wouldn't bother me. It didn't before.

Yes.

Yanbu to ask.

Yes ok with either.

I have no problem with male HCPs in any situation for me personally but I think women should have the right to request a female HCP (and men a male HCP) as standard practice for situations that are or may become, for want of a better word, immodest in nature or where you will be alone with the HCP.

I don't think it's OK to support sex discrimination because you prefer women's bedside manner, though. That just seems to cement the expectation of women as the "carers" doing the emotional labour and the men as the fixers and is stereotyping. Even if the stereotypes are, in general, currently true it hinders change to a better all round performance.

I have no idea why anyone who's not given birth is allowed anywhere near a woman giving birth.