If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

I don’t care, but have personally found female doctors less sympathetic towards period issues than men

Interestingly me too. When I had my daughter I was very ill and spent a month in hospital after the birth, two doctors made an error in my care. Both women, both the only female doctors I saw.

The first decided I was having a period post partum and should be discharged, she even went as far as asking me if I usually used tampons and didn't know what a period looked like, much to my shame I thought maybe she was right and was embarrassed .

I was heamorraghing and had to be rushed back to the labour ward as it was the closest to surgery and as they prepped me for surgery. She walked past my bed, saw the drips in my arm, six health professionals round the bed, and she kept on fucking walking. No apology, nothing. She hadn't even examined me when she decided.

The second was a female consultant or ward rounds, who was teaching young doctors. She decided the way to stop my bleeding was to give me the contraceptive injection. The one that was banned shortly after and caused cross bleeding. Again I was heamorraghing. Again a woman looked at me, decided I was having a period and tried to get me to fuck off out her hospital.

Both women were wrong and I could have died if men had not stepped in as in both instances I was heamorraghing. One due to retained placenta and the second due to an infection in my womb and blood stream.

Neither woman apologised.

In fact, thinking about it, the only time I’ve felt a little uncomfortable was after a breast exam when the doctor told me I had lovely breasts, a delight to examine. And that was a woman! The doctor who did the ultrasound beforehand was completely professional.

I've never asked for a female doctor, and honestly never thought I'd mind. However, one incident did make me uncomfortable - I was having a dodgy mole assessed (I have form for these) and the HCP was a young male. Not a problem, so I thought. I stripped off except for my pants and waited for the female chaperone to come in... except none did. This (perfectly polite, perfectly respectful) young man pressed the little magnfiying glass right up against my abdomen and pressed his eye to it, while I stood there awkwardly holding my boobs in place, in my pants in the middle of a big empty room.

It was the most awkward I've ever felt in any medical procedure, and that includes the vaginal ultrasound which was conducted by a male consultant. I think the thing that got me was the complete lack of awareness that I might be uncomfortable. I haven't experienced that with female HCPs.

I am, but that is obviously a personal thing.

My experiences of gynae stuff have actually been better with men than with women. All my experiences of not respecting boundaries have actually been with women.

Will never forget the midwife who grabbed hold of my cervix when I was in early labour and squeezed it as hard as she could for a good 5 minutes "to get me used to the feeling". Never understood what that was about: nothing during the rest of the labour was anywhere near as painful or in any way similar. Otoh it is probably the closest I have ever come to being violated. She genuinely seemed to think that inflicting gratuitous pain was something she should be doing.

Nor the female GP who told me when I was panicking about my new-born's failure to thrive, that my prime concern must be to have my genitals re-stitched so as not to become unattractive to my husband because "the best gift you can give your little girl is a father" (No, actually, Dr O, not starving to death might be just slightly better still- not to mention that my dh had no intention of leaving)

Out of the group of trainee doctors who had me to practise on during my pregnancy, the only one who actually spoke to me and asked my permission before examining me was a male (I made sure to point out to the examiner how much that mattered).

Yes, I’m fine with it but can completely understand many women would not be and completely support that. For whatever reason they have the right to have a woman examine them, treat them, help them.

I thought that JacquesHammer but their profile is locked.

Genuinely am so tired of being told that wanting to control who touches my body makes me a bigot. Most men of my acquaintance ( & I know loads of people 😁) recognize that this is normal.

I don't mind , I've had male midwives . Didn't care at all. A male mw broke my waters with dc3

I thought that JacquesHammer but their profile is locked

I have a good memory for usernames. They posted on a thread I was on earlier.

In every scenario I can think of I am happy with male or female doctors. I’d rather have the better doctor than a specific gender.

Yes, of course I'd be fine with a medical professional giving me the help and treatment that I need. I've always been asked if I've wanted a chaperone but never felt the need.

What if there simply isn't a female alternative? The Dr's & consultants on delivery wards are often male and there's no alternative if you're in an emergency situation when in labour.

Yes

Yes

Doesn't bother me. As far as doctors are concerned, one fanjo is pretty much the same as the next. So I'll happily see the male gynae and leave the female one to treat someone who has good reason for needing to see a woman.

'I think it’s bigotry to have an issue with the sex of the person providing healthcare.'

bigotry
/ˈbɪɡətri/

noun
1 intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself.

For any intimate part of me, I massively prefer female HCPs.

Frequently, yes. It doesn't bother me. I can remember being specifically asked if a male student midwife could examine me, and it never occurred to me to refuse - they have to be trained properly and won't be if they can't practise on real cases and live bodies.

Only 1 thing where i have ever had a male medical staff member & felt uncomfortable. V found Dr giving me a sweep (post term preg) & making a pigs ear of it. He just couldn't fathom why on earth I was SO uncomfortable, somehow I felt a woman might have just "got it" more how it felt.

I used not to give a stuff even for legs akimbo examinations but now, I think I would prefer female. I've had inappropriate/assault experiences twice with male doctors so now at the very least I want a chaperone but only if female doc not available.

Would be happy to be seen by a male doctor for anything.

SherlockSays, surely it isn't hard to understand that it might not be "of course" to someone who has e.g. been raped or sexually abused throughout their childhood. Some people may have good reason to fear that the MH issues such an examination might trigger would be more dangerous for them than the medical issue itself. I find that very understandable.

I was threatened with a rectal examination by a male doctor younger than my son. I told him to get a woman doctor. First and only time ever.

Given an unnecessary and nonconsensual pelvic exam by a male dr - aged 11

Lived with male medics at uni - they had a "minge of the month" competition for the grossest vagina they had seen that month, complete with hand drawings and misogynistic nicknames for patients

Told I was a "foolish young lady" by a male cons when I asked about homebirth

Told I was an "anxious young lady" and needed "laughing out of my fears" by a male urology cons as I threw up in pain after kidney surgery gone wrong. Subsequently needed 5 days in hospital and 2 further ops to repair

No, I don't see male hcp unless unavoidable.

Yes absolutely.
I have had two ops on my bikini line area underneath. Both by a male doctor. Both made sure a female nurse was present. I think that is best practice to protect themselves.

General health - fine with whoever. Gynae, breast, bum - female only. I had horrific experiences with male ob/gyn's in the past including misdiagnosis, belittling, inappropriate comments about my body/body hair etc.