If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

Anything intimate then I want a female. I was raped as a student and still get triggered by Adam's apples especially when viewed through my legs. They offered me female only hcps with dc1, I was "nice" and said it was fine and then almost put my foot through the respectful, lovely and kind male doctor's throat in a moment of total panic.

With dc2, all hcps were female and it was a 1000 x better experience.

My psychiatrist is male and the psychologist I saw until recently was male which was fine but anything where I'm physically vulnerable, then I need a female.

As a hcp, I work in mammography where males can't screen women but male radiologists and surgeons work in the symptomatic breast clinic.

It's debated as to whether men should be mammographers. But it may negatively impact the screening uptake. Another issue would be the pressure on female mammographers who would have to undertake the extra work of chaperoning or carrying out the mammograms when a male is declined.

Personally I'm on the fence. I had a male obstetrician and didn't bat an eyelid, but where screening is involved, I think I'd prefer a woman where possible.

I have no problem at all with male HCPs. Had a male midwife for DC1 and he was excellent, have had an inaccurate examination and a dismissive attitude from a female gynaecologist - and marvellous care from a female obstetrician, and sensitive care from a male Gynaecologist.

I have no issues with a male Dr.
When I was pregnant with DC1, we had a premature labour scare, and the obstetrician who looked after me that night was a man, and he couldn’t have been kinder, or more professional. He treated me with more dignity than the midwife who actually ended up delivering DC1
He asked me “Are you comfortable with me doing a speculum examination?”, “Is it ok if I begin the examination now?” etc. He talked me through every step of what he would need to do before he did it, and asked me if I was comfortable with him continuing etc throughout. Sometimes just the way healthcare professionals word things can make all the difference!

I have been a victim of sexual assault in the past (as a teenager, at the hands of a person in a position of trust), and the only person in a healthcare role who’s ever made me feel violated in a similar way was a female midwife. I was literally screaming at her to remove her fingers from my vagina as the pain was excruciating, and she continued with the cervical examination, mid-contraction anyway I felt like I’d been assaulted all over again.

I am personally, but I would never judge or blame any woman who didn’t want to be seen by a male medical professional for any reason. Whatever the thought process behind it, it is legitimate that it’s a personal decision that needs to be respected.

I really don’t care whether they’re professional on their downtime. Why should they be? It’s their downtime. I don’t really give a stuff what they say or do as long as they treat me with respect and care when they’re looking after me.

I do kind of care if a male HCP think 'minge of the month' is funny on their down time, so that's why I'd always opt for a biological woman. No harm, no foul.

Having said that, I do recall someone on here saying her trainee midwife friend used to make fun (afterwards, natch) of women with full bushes, so actually it's pretty depressing to realise that in too many cases, HCPs' professionalism is little more than thin veneer...

Yes, if chaperoned (which is done routinely without me having to ask).

But when I was younger, more nervous and more prudish there were some thing's I'd definitely have wanted a female HCP for.

When I was young (ie a teenager) I always asked for a woman, but now I'm an adult, I don't mind at all.

I'm not sure I'd like a male health professional doing my smear test...but when I'm in agony (ie: childbirth) and I want me and the baby to be ok...I don't give shit about gender. x

I feel horribly uncomfortable and almost ashamed with any medical stuff but the sex of the healthcare provider has never made be feel better or worse. I also don’t feel comfortable getting changed in front of other people (changing rooms) etc regardless. I know I am very much in the minority but I just don’t understand feeling more comfortable with someone of the same sex (except if I thought I was in a situation where I felt I could vulnerable to some sort of attack and I guess I’d stand more chance of fighting of another woman...).

I saw a male GP last year with a female problem and had to make another appointment to see a woman as she had more experience in that area.

If it's a very personal problem I do ask to see a female doctor but would see a male if no female was free. I've been examined by a male gynaecologist a couple of times and it was fine.

I think that for cervical and breast screenings the affect on uptake is the thing.

Those who aren’t bothered would go whatever. But those who are would be put off. Women have a right to feel uncomfortable about this and to ask for a female HCP. Just as I know a few elderly men who only want to be seen by male doctors for embarrassment reasons.

Personally I’m fine with men, but there are times I’ve requested a female just because there is a male GP at our surgery who is a useless twat.

Pretty much
I like my male doctor and tbf I've had male consultants at my births and had a c section

I personally couldn't care less whether the Dr is male or female, regardless of the reason for consultation/procedure.

I think it is fine to express a preference and ask for a female if having a male HCP makes you uncomfortable in most circumstances- the exception to that would be in an emergency when immediate treatment is needed. In those circumstances, it may be necessary to accept a male despite your preference (or accept the insistence on a female may mean a delay in your treatment). I'm a Dr and I know there are times when an appropriately qualified female Dr may not be available to do certain procedures in an emergency situation.

As a trainee, we had a really difficult time where a woman did insist she needed a female Dr and all female nursing staff etc. Her refusal led to a delay in her treatment, as there simply was not a female consultant and trainee to assist at short notice, the rest of us were genuinely not available to come and help/there was no possibility of switching duties due to relative grades/competencies etc. That delay was nearly fatal and has led to long-standing complications. She then complained and attempted to sue for negligence. I understand she must have had strong reasons for that decision, but having seen the outcome I would implore women to be realistic in an emergency situation.

Personally I’m fine with men

But what's the point of them in a medical setting?

Most medical research is based on male bodies and we have copious evidence, on the mumsnet of how they butcher us in child birth.

They could be taught to be cleaners, but really, what is the point of them as medics?.

I used not to care until I had a male gynaecologist replace my mire a coil. For context I've never given birth so not particularly easy to fit. Previous female doctors always took it slowly and were very considerate. He ordered me to strip the nurse to put my feet in stirrups (never needed before) and just hammered it in. I felt like a piece of meat and have always insisted on a female since for smear tests and coil stuff.

Another who doesn’t care remotely what their sex/gender is, for any procedure. It’s an HCP.

For most things I don’t mind, but for anything intimate I would prefer a woman. I could probably handle a chaperoned man, but if they need a female doctor or nurse to come in to do that, they might as well just do it in the first place.
I did have a male health visitor with ds2, and I never felt too comfortable with him / just couldn’t relate to him; but whether that was biology or personality I’m not sure.

Yes.

But, I believe any woman who feels otherwise should have that respected. And minors, who aren't necessarily able to voice if a particular HCP makes them feel uncomfortable, should have same sex as default.

Tbh I was recently very ill with sepsis. Until then, I was a little bit embarrassed sometimes. The team who worked on me as I was prepped for emergency surgery, as I lapsed in and out of consciousness, was largely make. I’m just happy that they were the experts, and did a fantastic job in saving my life, and that I didn’t lose any limbs.

I think if, right now, there was a law saying that I couldn't ever see a male medic again in any situation, they were for men and women had to see women, I'd be pretty pissed off. Some of the best experts are male, so presumably my life would be cut short.

But assuming I had a choice, I'd pick females in a heartbeat. I was assaulted as a teenage and am terrified of being alone one-on-one with a male I don't know.

Yep, I'm fine with male doctors.

I actually prefer Male HCP’s. Recently had some gynae problems, saw 3 woman who dismissed my concerns completely. One in labour even told me to stop ‘being dramatic’ my issues were only solved in the end by men, both during labour and my gynea issues.
Obviously not the case for all of them but in my experience, I’d be gutted if I was told I could only have woman, more than the other way round. Should have a choice though as some woman may want a woman.

Do you know if you should be offered a chaperone for intimate exams as a matter of course? I had an odd examination as a teenager and have wondered if it was inappropriate