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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School possibly gave my details to abusive ex.

103 replies

AFOLNerd · 31/05/2019 13:16

Just had an email from school saying that they are using a new app called sims to deal with all personal info etc.
Signed up and logged in and it has my emails, phone numbers address plus all my partners details as he is down as an emergency contact.
It also shows me all my ex’s details.

My ex is a nasty piece of work and as a result the only way he has of contacting me is one email address.
If he has been sent this link as well they have handed him all mine and my partners details and he is going to have a field day!
Obviously as it’s half term no one is answering the school phones so I have no way of knowing if he has my details or not!

OP posts:
WattdeEll · 31/05/2019 13:34

That’s a serious data breach. There must be an email address for the Headteacher on the school’s website which is worth trying, and also the Chair of Governors.
I would be contacting SIMS directly and ask that they remove the info. Can you delete your info for now in case he hasn’t logged in yet?

Original poster
AFOLNerd · 31/05/2019 13:57

Thanks
Spoke to sims who hold no details just sell the school the software so nothing they can do. Have sent some emails and left voicemails so hopefully someone will pick it up soon.

Really not happy.

OP posts:
Diamondbean · 31/05/2019 14:10

When I worked in a school using SIMS, there used to be tick boxes as to who would receive these emails.
If a child’s parents were separated, the email only went to the first parent on the list.

Similarly, if there was any text or email contact, that would usually go to both parents unless there was a court order in place, in which case it would be assessed on an individual basis.

Are the school aware of the issues?

Diamondbean · 31/05/2019 14:11

Re the text and email contact, that would be regarding school events like non uniform days, newsletters etc not personal details.

LovelyJubblee · 31/05/2019 14:12

I think you can delete the details on the page. You can on our sims. Or just change phone numbers to not yours until you can contact the school on Monday?

WattdeEll · 31/05/2019 14:13

Fingers crossed for you.

Skyejuly · 31/05/2019 14:14

I had exact same issue. I hate to say it but the damage was already done as my ex had found my new address :(

AskMeHow · 31/05/2019 14:32

Hopefully only you have been given login details. It's not good that you can see your ex's info though.

I work in a school and it was my concerns about this that meant I was reluctant for us to start using the Sims parent app. It wasn't clear to me whether parents would only be able to see their own details and not those of other contacts.

I hope the school can sort this out for you.

Comefromaway · 31/05/2019 14:38

Who gave the school your ex's emergency contact details? If it was you then there has no breach as it is info you gave them. Every year my daughter's school sends me a data sheet to update any changes. It has my details plus the details of her grandparents as we put them down as emergency contacts. I gave the school those details.

If, however you did not give the school your ex's details and he did then there has been a serious breach.

Comefromaway · 31/05/2019 14:42

My son's school uses a system called Bromcom. On my log in only my details are shown, not my husband's.

TabbyStar · 31/05/2019 15:14

Who gave the school your ex's emergency contact details? If it was you then there has no breach as it is info you gave them. Every year my daughter's school sends me a data sheet to update any changes. It has my details plus the details of her grandparents as we put them down as emergency contacts. I gave the school those details.

If the school has passed on the OP's details to her ex this is a data breach because they should not assume the converse is true that the ex has the OP's details. Have a look on the Information Commissioner's website about whether the school should be reporting this. This sort of thing could actually put people in physical danger.

Magenta82 · 31/05/2019 15:22

Are you ok OP, this must be quite a worry for you.

The school should be able to block his access as an emergency measure and find out if he has accessed the data so you will know what you are dealing with.

stucknoue · 31/05/2019 15:59

We had a tick box at DD's school to say if our information was confidential not to be shared with the other parent, I'm guessing there's been issues in the past. I know at least one child had a protection order due to their estranged parent and the school (boarding) put stringent measures in place but as others have said, they need to know. My contact record shows both of us because we didn't tell them otherwise. Hope it's ok.

PixiKitKat · 31/05/2019 16:01

The school will have a data protection officer. Look on their privacy notices to see if they have details there. Contact them.

Original poster
AFOLNerd · 31/05/2019 16:10

I will try and answer all questions.
I have tried to delete all info but it states the school have to approve changes which obviously they won’t do until Monday at the earliest and it is still showing the old info.

I only put ex’s name on the form and for him not to be contacted due to abuse.
The info on there shows his address and work number which I didn’t know. Plus he is now down as second contact so he has been in contact with the school and got them to change it, which I am also not happy about.

School are aware that ex is abusive and has no contact with his youngest child, (I have 2 with him at the same school) I have had to collect her early sometimes when ex has made remarks about turning up to school, and they have been supportive. They have potentially given him her mobile number and email as well as they are on the app.

No contact from the school yet.

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 31/05/2019 16:13

There’s another thread on here over a similar incident

You can report them for a day breach

FamilyOfAliens · 31/05/2019 16:15

Does he have PR and is there a court order in place to prevent him from having contact with your children?

It can be very difficult for schools when the other parent has PR and there’s no court order.

Runningintothesunset · 31/05/2019 16:16

Can you do a bit of internet sleuthing to find out some of the contact details for one of the governors, they are likely to be able to get hold of a teacher privately given the seriousness of it. I’m a governor and I have the head’s private mobile number for example.

FamilyOfAliens · 31/05/2019 16:18

I doubt a teacher would have had anything to do with a new school information system and I very doubt they’d be happy to be contacted by a governor when they’re not working.

Peperpiperpickedwrong · 31/05/2019 16:24

Oh god how awful!
I hope It isn’t as you fear and that only you have been sent the link.

Original poster
AFOLNerd · 31/05/2019 16:25

Just found an email on the school website to report a data breach. I have contacted them.
Fingers crossed they will pick it up today.

He has PR, no court order. Dd is 12 and refuses to see him or use his surname. She hasn’t seen him for over 3 years. Ds15 has minimal intermittent contact.

OP posts:
TheInvestigator · 31/05/2019 16:38

Giving you access to his details is a breach so they have breached data regulations. Obviously he's horrible so I don't really care about him specifically, but it shows that they havnt considered keeping data secure. That means I would assume they havnt considered keeping your data safe, so until you find out otherwise, you should assume he has your details and do what you need to do to keep yourself safe.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 31/05/2019 16:40

Don't forget to contact the ICO and talk to them about it. School's may need a reminder not to use new anything at the beginning of a holiday when there is nobody there to deal with any incidents. That and to triple check the information they send out in such Apps. There is really no excuse as the App has all the capaboilities to exclude any piece of data - the developers wer fully aware of possible issues when they made it and LEAs too, when they OKd it for use.

Someone at your school has made an error and they need to know it is REALLY not OK.

Runningintothesunset · 31/05/2019 17:39

@fanilyofaliens - I’d like to think that any teacher if they were contacted about something that was time critical and could endanger a family, wouldn’t think twice about passing on a message to someone who could help Hmm

FamilyOfAliens · 31/05/2019 18:59

I’d like to think that any teacher if they were contacted about something that was time critical and could endanger a family, wouldn’t think twice about passing on a message to someone who could help

Yes, if those criteria were fulfilled, they may well pass on a message.
However, even if the OP could speak to a teacher, unless they could access the school database remotely or they are a key holder and could physically go into school to check if both parents can see the same details (and knew how to check), I’m not sure what could be done this weekend.

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