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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School possibly gave my details to abusive ex.

103 replies

AFOLNerd · 31/05/2019 13:16

Just had an email from school saying that they are using a new app called sims to deal with all personal info etc.
Signed up and logged in and it has my emails, phone numbers address plus all my partners details as he is down as an emergency contact.
It also shows me all my ex’s details.

My ex is a nasty piece of work and as a result the only way he has of contacting me is one email address.
If he has been sent this link as well they have handed him all mine and my partners details and he is going to have a field day!
Obviously as it’s half term no one is answering the school phones so I have no way of knowing if he has my details or not!

OP posts:

AdaShelby · 02/06/2019 00:53

That's dreadful

Our head picks up emails over the weekend and during holidays.

wibbletooth · 02/06/2019 04:26

Is there a contact number for a janitor or groundsman or similar?

Might actually be posted somewhere quite small actually at the school - but say there was an alarm going off at the school or a fire or burglary etc, the police /fire service /passerby would want to know who to contact in a hurry.

And that person would definitely have contact numbers for the head, the business manager and so on.

Bit of a convoluted route but worth a try in the situation.

Crazy of them to release this info to you at the start of half term (or are you back on Monday?) when, if there is a problem, there’s nobody around to sort issues out for a week. If the did it on the first Tuesday back it would be much safer!

Also do you know anyone on the PTA? At ours one of the Senior Leadership Team is on it as the T bit and thus on the emails so any member would have their email and the chair may well have a contact number too. Another avenue to explore - they may well have a Facebook group in addition to the main school one (or even just a plain parents Facebook group regardless of PTA).

Good luck and definitely report the breach - difficult to get / ask for compensation from a school when you know it could affect their budgets and resources but certainly worth it to ensure that they put systems in place so this can never happen again!

LovelyJubblee · 02/06/2019 07:59

On our sims when I log in it shows my details only plus the telephone numbers of the emergency two other contacts. Not any addresses of DH not the other contact. I have to use a computer rather than my phone to see it all. I cannot see my DHs sims account from mine. HTH

Original poster

AFOLNerd · 02/06/2019 08:04

No contact from ex so far. So assuming either he didn’t get send the link or he hasn’t bothered to set it up.

No contact from the school either. We are back at school tomorrow so I will be down there first thing finding out exactly what is going on.

OP posts:

Auntpetunia2015 · 02/06/2019 08:36

Can you find their safeguarding lead and gdpr lead email details both should be on the website and email both of them that you are coming in tomorrow at x time and expect both -one of them to be available.

PonderingPanda · 02/06/2019 08:45

Absolutely dreadful. There was a thread on here a little while back where Barclays bank had revealed details and the OP had to move to a hotel. Barclays just kept fobbing her off.

Does anyone know the outcome?

lljkk · 02/06/2019 09:15

Please keep us updated.

FamilyOfAliens · 02/06/2019 09:25

I’m a safeguarding lead in a school - I have my out-of-office reply on right now as it’s half-term.

I’ll be checking my emails tonight so I know what’s coming up but I certainly wouldn’t be doing so during my unpaid holidays. Maybe there’s scope there for some kind of out of term support for parents but I can’t imagine anyone would do it for free.

LagunaBubbles · 02/06/2019 09:30

Hope it's all OK OP

LolaSmiles · 02/06/2019 09:35

I’d like to think that any teacher if they were contacted about something that was time critical and could endanger a family, wouldn’t think twice about passing on a message to someone who could help
We have nothing to do with it. Our services are either bought in through the council LA or are central MAT services.
I'd know to contact our business manager in school, but they work term time only.

It's not about not being willing to help, it's that many of us are not contactable by parents out of term time and our colleagues are also term time only.

OP having access to ex's details is one data issue, but regarding denying contact to a parent with parental rights and no court order there's not much schools can do regarding having his contact info there.

Lou898 · 02/06/2019 11:30

If you believe this could put your family in danger then ring social services. They have contact details for the safeguarding staff in school and will contact them direct.

FamilyOfAliens · 02/06/2019 21:28

If you believe this could put your family in danger then ring social services. They have contact details for the safeguarding staff in school and will contact them direct.

Unless a social worker has worked with one of the safeguarding leads in school they will only have same information as a member of the public looking on the school’s website. They know we don’t work in the schook holidays.

And they couldn’t get in touch with school staff anyway. There are currently no safeguarding staff in school. I have a school mobile but it’s switched off in the holidays. As I said before, we’re only paid to work term-time.

wibbletooth · 03/06/2019 11:16

How did it go this morning op - did youanage to speak to anyone at school and find out if they have released your details to your ex and compromised your safety?

Fingers x that they haven’t but also hopefully they have learnt lessons about being incredibly careful with your data and also timings of changes (not doing something just as it’s half term holiday leaving you unsure/panicking for a week and not making it clear who can see what).

ceirrno · 03/06/2019 13:52

Not the same issue, but I had a safeguarding issue over half term with one of my kids and I emailed the school so they knew immediately, had a call at 9.45 this morning to say it had already been dealt with. In a huge school, that's awesome.

Hope yours is resolved as easily

Elisheva · 03/06/2019 14:07

FamilyOfAliens your attitude is shocking. The school have made an error which could potentially put people in danger and you do not care one bit because As I said before, we’re only paid to work term-time.
The OP is not hassling school staff for fun, she is stressed and upset because of something which is not her fault. There should be a system in place to address serious concerns, even during your precious holiday time.

Soontobe60 · 03/06/2019 14:22

elisheva you need to calm down!
If there has been a data breach, which the OP isn't certain of as yet, and the family could be in danger, then either social services or the police are the people to contact.
In my school, I am a DSL, but would have no idea how to access Sims system as our Business manager deals with that. She is out of the country. Many schools have NO STAFF available during holiday time apart from maintenance staff.
If I was a member of staff at the school in question, the only thing I'd be able to do is ring SS and log the matter.

Elisheva · 03/06/2019 14:37

If I was a member of staff at the school in question, the only thing I'd be able to do is ring SS and log the matter.
Then something needs to change (I appreciate that it is not your school we are talking about.) It is unacceptable that a family could be potentially be put at risk and no action can be taken to mitigate that risk because everyone is on holiday.
You have no idea how frightening it is for a family who have escaped DV to hear that their abuser may have found them.
I realise that this is not the OPs situation, but she has said that there are other families who may be affected more than her.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/06/2019 14:42

I suspect every poster here has some idea how frightening it is for OP. Don't be daft.

And it has been said a few times that the timing was crap. Shouting at individual posters for pointing that out, not wanting OP to waste her time, isn't helpful.

There are / were only ever 2 things she could have done: ring SS to alert them to the issue and ring the ICO to ensure the school gets some better training, advice etc.

Hopefully she has had reassuring news from the school today and can relax a little. If not, she can come back and we can all help her formulate a strong complaint to the relevantr organisations.

ElizaPancakes · 03/06/2019 14:46

Hope you’ve had reassuring news OP.

TrixieFranklin · 03/06/2019 14:53

Fingers crossed for some answers for you OP, what a worry!

Original poster

AFOLNerd · 03/06/2019 17:07

Thanks for all your support.
Finally got clarification about an hour ago that he definitely hasn’t had access to my details.
I was fairly confident this was the case as time went on as I was sure he would have done something.
Obviously there is still the issue that they told me his details but at least I can stop worrying that ex is going to stir up trouble.

OP posts:

LovelyJubblee · 03/06/2019 17:14

Phew!!

wibbletooth · 03/06/2019 17:38

Glad to hear it. But probably worth reiterating to them that if they had explained what you were seeing more clearly, they would have saved you a week of serious worry - and you mentioned that others were in a similar or worse situation. Not knowing means that you have to be on alert just in case which is a horrible position to be in and causes lots of unnecessary stress.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/06/2019 17:51

Well, that almost all OK then! They only have 2 issues to sort out

to not allow you to see his contact details
to time their emails more carefully

Don't let your relief let them of the hook for that. They could have saved you a lot of worrying had they sent that out today instead of at the ebginning of a holiday!

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 03/06/2019 18:40

Off-topic, I know, but SIMs is not a "new app." It's been around for years and should therefore have ironed out any shortcomings in its systems.

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