To not feel happy with gender neutral toilets at work?

[BalletBunting]

My company has recently relabelled all toilets on my floor as 'gender neutral'. As well as being rather confused as to what the need is for them (there are no trans people at my work as far as I'm aware) I don't like them, and I would prefer to keep the ladies loo as is. The nearest women's toilets is 3 floors up now!

I don't really feel comfortable going to the loo knowing that there are men in there but I don't really know how to bring this up and with who. I work for a large media company, fairly young/progressive and I don't want to cause trouble for myself.

There was also absolutely no consultation regarding the change. If anyone has been in a similar situation and managed to come to a different solution? Or AIBU and should drop it?

Everywhere facing this supposed H.R. conundrum should be making the men's toilets mixed use and leaving the women's toilets single sex

Problem solved.

Is it?

Fine if you like walking in to sight of a line of blokes peeing into a trough, I suppose.

I'm curious how all you women know how disgusting the men's toilets are...are you often going in there?

Other men tell us.

The stench wafts out of the door.

The state of mixed sex loos (ie disabled) as opposed to single sex women's facilities.

YANBU at all OP. Everyone should be able to choose the option they feel comfortable with including single sex loos.

@Cuppa12345

"I'm a wheel chair user and all my toilets everywhere are used by both men and women... I can't see the fuss tbh."
In your instance you have a self-contained toilet with a sink and drier. We are talking about a block of toilets, a number of toilet cubicles within one room with shared washing facilities.

The best solution for unisex toilets is not to have toilet cubicles within a larger room but that the toilets themselves should be individial rooms containing a sink and drier/towels as it is for the disabled. Each room could be used by either sex.

I like to use them sometimes to mop up spills

I’m obviously being dense here but what ‘spills’ do you need to mop up in the sink area?

Actually cuppa although the radar system is a good idea the number of loos using the lock system is much rarer these days than it used to be.

We haven't used the key in months, even the toilets fitted with locks are left unlocked a lot of the time and besides the keys can be bought off ebay so aren't the security they used to be.

It is extremely rare to find locked accessible toilets these days in the UK.

YADNBU!

I would not be comfortable with this at all. I have no probs if its a stand alone single toilet so one in/one out and only one person in at a time.

But multiple cubicles all together with flimsy partitions and with the risk of coming out and being confronted with a man using the wash basin with the possibility of a bit of your skirt tucked into your knickers? Nope, not good enough for me. No way.

@ScottishDoll I have to disagree with you as I think you're making a massive generalization about men. I don't smell an "stench" from the men's next door. The men in my life actually know how to use a toilet properly. But obviously as this is Mumsnet all men are disgusting pigs

Disclaimer: I'm not male, i'm female before anyone "accuses" me of being a man.

Grey could you address my point about the statistics on sexual assault in unisex toilets as opposed to sex segregated toilets. You are telling women on this thread how they should feel but aren't addressing the point. It's a layer of safeguarding that is being removed.

being confronted with a man using the wash basin

What is with this kind of language? "confronted" he is only washing his hands, not waiting to pounce on you like a rabid dog!

If I change tights/get dressed I always do it by the sinks. Would never do it in a cubicle.

We also have a gender neutral changing room at work which previous to me starting I think was only used by blokes. I'm brazening it out and my male cycling/running colleagues are getting used to seeing me in my underwear most mornings! They're all in their boxers so I'm also stripping off! 😁

I’m obviously being dense here but what ‘spills’ do you need to mop up in the sink area?
If I've spilled something on myself (or my likely one of my DC has although obviously not at work) then I can rinse it at the sinks and dry it use the dryer. This might involve partial undress, something I really wouldn't feel comfortable with in front of men.

Can we not call them gender neutral? They are mixed sex. Using the right words might make people wake up to the situation.

I would ask what risk assessment and equality impact assessment has been done, OP, if these are applicable in your workplace (are they? I'm honestly not sure.)

@birdsdestiny The OP never mentioned sexual assault, therefore I didn't address it. I was responding to the specific issues she raised (Cleaning up a mess, changing tights, hearing pee noise and gossip) none of those were about sexual assault.

That's not my experience, Scottish.

I understand how you feel OP. Despite it being the 21st century and us all trying to be 'cool', I would much rather than women-only toilets than unisex ones.

I've been in some women only toilets that are pretty rank (one of them being in the flagship headquarters of well known company) with period blood smeared on walls, puddles on the floor and skidmarks in the loo but generally women only toilets are much more pleasant places to be than unisex ones.

My gym has two unisex toilets (with two washbasins in a shared area outside) and I feel uncomfortable every time I go in there. 80% of the time I have to put the toilet seat down which annoys the hell out of me. People who chat happily to each other on the gym floor tend to look at each other shiftily in the toilets and just mutter hi. I think everyone feels uncomfortable, men and women.

GreytExpectations
I'm sorry but I've clearly explained why I don't like it. Why should we have gender neutral toilets? Who do they benefit?

"Why are men so desperate to use the women's toilets?"

Speaking only for the workplace here - space is money, accommodation costs are usually second only to payroll in most businesses. if you can reduce the amount of space being utilised you can reduce your costs. so rather than having 10 of each single sex loos being used 50% of the time you have 10 mixed use being used 100% of the time, it's a more efficient use of space

Gender neutral changing rooms? That’s utterly perverse.

eg mop up a spill, or take off a pair of tights

We’ll surely you’d do these things in a cubicle wouldn’t you? Surely not in the communal area.

And as for people talking about emptying and washing moon cups in a hand basin. How fucking revolting.

We also have a gender neutral changing room at work which previous to me starting I think was only used by blokes. I'm brazening it out and my male cycling/running colleagues are getting used to seeing me in my underwear most mornings! They're all in their boxers so I'm also stripping off

We have the same. My wife now uses it to shower and get changed after the gym in the morning. She's made lots of new friends.

Would you prefer it was done in the kitchen?

@GreytExpectations

I'm curious how all you women know how disgusting the men's toilets are...are you often going in there?

They usually smell pretty bad from a distance, so I imagine the up close and personal is not going to be a pretty sight (or smell).

@AlexaAmbidextra

Spills would be getting blood on your hands, changing a tampon or rinsing out a mooncup.

I'm not suggesting we should have them. I'm just giving my opinion on some of the concerns raised. Some of the concerns to me seem very valid (sexual), others seem trivial (fart noises and gossip for example)

Apologies that should have said (sexual assault risks)