To not feel happy with gender neutral toilets at work?

[BalletBunting]

My company has recently relabelled all toilets on my floor as 'gender neutral'. As well as being rather confused as to what the need is for them (there are no trans people at my work as far as I'm aware) I don't like them, and I would prefer to keep the ladies loo as is. The nearest women's toilets is 3 floors up now!

I don't really feel comfortable going to the loo knowing that there are men in there but I don't really know how to bring this up and with who. I work for a large media company, fairly young/progressive and I don't want to cause trouble for myself.

There was also absolutely no consultation regarding the change. If anyone has been in a similar situation and managed to come to a different solution? Or AIBU and should drop it?

We have two toilet cubicles for about 25 staff(mostly female) where I work. They were labelled male and female til about a year ago, now they’re unisex. As each one is completely contained and has a sink and sanitary bin it’s never worried me. (Though now you mention it, the floor is often wet, which never happens when the were male and female...) Also we don’t have time to stand around in the loos doing makeup or chatting to other women. Equally, it’s a nuisance if you do need to get changed after work to go out so I then seek out the traditional ‘ladies’ in another floor.
Sorry I don’t have an answer for you.

I'm a wheel chair user and all my toilets everywhere are used by both men and women... I can't see the fuss tbh.

why the change?

who do they expect will benefit from this?
(answer- not women)

Cuppa12345 that's something that always occurs to me when I see these threads but rarely see opinions from those who already are in this position as a disabled toilet user

I don't have a problem with sharing per se myself, though I completely understand that some people do.

My grip today, having just used a gender neutral toilet at a large, prestigious university, in the students' union, is that there was piss all over the floor. It stank, and was hard not to put my feet in it. Boak.

idontwant but what if your boss/subordinate was female - you'd still hear each other's farts. Or as men do every day, watch each other piss in urinals. I don't think that argument flies.

However, I do agree that for comfort and privacy alone the OP should just ask her single HR person what consultation there was before this was instituted, why it was instituted and did she realize both men/women were unhappy with it.

Men need to stop forcing their way into women's spaces.

As I said upthread, it is definitely not most men, who are equally mortified at the prospect of mixed loos.

The all-in-one cubicles are all very well, but men do smell more, and the thought of any aromas being trapped in a small windowless space... eeeurrggh.

I must be a grim woman then as I share our loo at home with DH and 3 sons!

But as I said above, what if I had to eg mop up a spill, or take off a pair of tights or reapply makeup? Often I have private chats with female colleagues and the dynamic would be totally different with men.

Changing tights obviously I can understand that but I always do that in the privacy of the cubical anyway, didn't realize people did it out by the sinks Don't really understand the mopping up a mess part and you really can't apply make-up with a man there? I can't see why that is an issue but to each their own.
If you are having chats so private that it could change dynamics than maybe you should be more professional and have them outside of the work place? Personally, sounds like high school girl's wanting to gossip...

Nothing wrong with her raising this question.

I never said there was anything wrong with it, I just raised a question too.

I'm a wheel chair user and all my toilets everywhere are used by both men and women... I can't see the fuss tbh.

There is a wheelchair user in my family too, the toilets are a nightmare, absolutely disgusting state most of the time!

Not only are they rarely fit for purpose but they are never cleaned properly, are always puddled and often taken up by perfectly able men doing long stinky shit things because they want more privacy than they get in the men's.

Floor to ceiling layout for individual cubicles but with shared sinks contravenes H & S I believe.

Really? All the Civil Service gender neutral ones are normal cubicles and shared sinks and I hate it

I'm male and I don't like them. Some loos where I work are gender neutral, all cubicals and, generally, all covered in piss.

The dedicated gents loos with separate urinals for peeing and cubicals for pooing don't get like that.

The argument that men and women use the same toilet at home without problems doesn't wash with me. If you make a mess at home, you have the tools to clean up after yourself. At work, all you have is a bog brush, if you are lucky.

The disabled toilet is irrelevant, since it has a wash basin inside the completely enclosed floor to ceiling cubicle. It therefore complies with the law on unisex toilets.
Shared ones with communal washbasins do not conform. No women want to wash menstrual blood off their hands in front of a man, or rinse out blood stained underwear ditto. Women suffering a miscarriage at work don’t want to deal with it in front of men in a shared loo.

It's never caused me concern that both sexes use the toilets I'm using. What actually is the issue, that you think you're at risk? Because if someone was going to use the loos at work to attack someone, I doubt the female sign would put off a man going in for that reason...

I might be missing something but I don't know why you wouldn't feel comfortable putting lipstick on next to a chap. Is it because you feel you shouldn't have to, or because it actually physically makes you nervous or whatever.

people really feel turning our very limited women's spaces into unisex spaces is a good thing?

why is that?

it would change the dynamic between me and a boss or subordinate if we were to hear each other farting

I think people who honestly feel this way need to grow up. Its a natural bodily function and as if it will "change the dynamic". What is the boss was a woman and heard?

Everywhere facing this supposed H.R. conundrum should be making the men's toilets mixed use and leaving the women's toilets single sex.

Problem solved.

This is very much the norm in the workplace surely? I've worked in four large public sector organisations over the last 6 years and they all have "mixed use facilities". i can't see the problem, they'er no smellier / dirtier than any loo.

Everywhere facing this supposed H.R. conundrum should be making the men's toilets mixed use and leaving the women's toilets single sex.

And what if the men feel like they should have their own space and don't want to share it with women?

It is wrong, it is ridiculous and the new policy should be challenged.

Women cry in loos, they miscarry, they bleed. They may have to ask other female colleagues for a tampon. If the sinks in this 'gender neutral' toilet are communal, then how does a woman deal with the aforementioned issues if men are present? Why should women have to feel more embarrassed by the presence of men (and most men I know would be equally mortified at having to share the space).

What about Muslim and Jewish women whose religions would dictate that public toilets are segregated by sex? Do we just ignore religious requirements for the benefit of men?

Sex segregation is there to protect women from men. I don't want to share a space with my male colleagues and thank God my employer isn't daft enough to go down the gender neutral route (so far).

I'm curious how all you women know how disgusting the men's toilets are...are you often going in there?

Wheelchair accessible toilets are normally self contained rooms, which most people are ok with. It’s the stall set up with shared sinks that are unpleasant.

Helmet that is an excellent question.

Why are men so desperate to use the women's toilets?

Yeah, I wouldn't be interested in sharing a loo with a bunch of men.

When I was able bodied, some ladies loos were bloody grim too. It depends where you are, to be honest. Most disabled loos are locked now and you either have to carry a key with you that unlocks them or go and get it from the bar or whatever.