To not feel happy with gender neutral toilets at work?

[BalletBunting]

My company has recently relabelled all toilets on my floor as 'gender neutral'. As well as being rather confused as to what the need is for them (there are no trans people at my work as far as I'm aware) I don't like them, and I would prefer to keep the ladies loo as is. The nearest women's toilets is 3 floors up now!

I don't really feel comfortable going to the loo knowing that there are men in there but I don't really know how to bring this up and with who. I work for a large media company, fairly young/progressive and I don't want to cause trouble for myself.

There was also absolutely no consultation regarding the change. If anyone has been in a similar situation and managed to come to a different solution? Or AIBU and should drop it?

Okay. So if men want single sex toilets and women want single sex toilets how can we challenge and reverse these changes going on in the workplace?

We have taken decades to get to the current state with racism yet that still exists, albeit probably to a far lesser degree than it did decades ago. So why do transgender imen and women seem to be in such a hurry to try and force their wishes on the rest of us and bulldoze through changes that we are not ready for and maybe never will be ready for.

You can't force acceptance on people. If you try to, I believe it will push people further away.

@Ereshkigal was trying to understand her, but of course it's "because I do" scenario and no explanation given.

@TalkingintheDark

Plus a small majority of biological females (FTM), presumably. Or do those ‘women’s’ feelings not count? I find people insisting on referring to MTF as ‘men’ really gross. They might be biological men but they’ve been through a horrific process to get to the point of living their lives as women.

Source for ‘the vast majority of women’, please.

Everyone’s feelings are valid. My feelings on not giving a shit who I stand next to when I wash my hands are equally valid.

You’ve taken one of the three reasons I have and focussed on it, but since you asked, yes, I think it is important - and nice - to make lives easier for marginalised people and that doesn’t make me or deluded or asleep. Being able to continue the fight for equality without treading on other people as I do is strength not weakness; I don’t have to belittle and demean people to get where I want to be.

From the time differences, seems as though some of you are in the States. Maybe worry about Alabama and the rest of the handmaid heartbeat states instead of the tiny proportion of mixed sex toilets. Seems like a much more important erosion of women’s safe spaces: their own bodies.

At work we have a 'men's toilet' and a 'women's and guests toilet'. Guests are male 90% of the time and the chairman nips down to use it quite frequently. Makes me very uncomfortable! We can't say anything though, as we have no HR department and he can be right moody...

Oh, and I had to request a proper sanitary bin in there after 6 months, as they thought a swing bin was good enough

What horrific process, Manners?

Saying ‘I’m a woman’?

if a man can hear me doing a wee I'd feel very strange

Whoops sorry, accidentally pressed post.

if a man can hear me doing a wee I'd feel very strange

Why? Just because he has a penis? I really don't get this.

I'm another wheelchair user, though haven't always been. For those saying that they can't possibly use a toilet near a man, why do you think an extra door will make a difference? Men who want to sexually assault a woman in the loo don't just see a female toilet sign on the door and think, "Oh well, no sexual assault for me today, can't possibly go in there", surely? They'd do it anyway.

Everyone urinates. Everyone shits. Women bleed. So bloody what?
The attitudes towards men on this thread are vile. Tarring them all with the same brush - assuming they are all filthy, disgusting pigs. They're not. And some women are pretty bloody disgusting too.

Why on earth does it matter if a person hears you having a wee ffs.

There are some grim women here who don't mind sharing loos with men and their piss.

I suspect that that applies to the majority of women on here. I've shared a loo with my husband, son and male friends for years and survived. Male piss is no more or less offensive than female piss.

All around the world, people are campaigning for women-only toilets to give women safety, privacy, dignity and access to public life and there is concrete evidence of huge falls in attacks etc. Women's lives are being hugely improved. But here we seem to think it's progressive to get rid of these spaces to accommodate males who already have their own toilets they can use and are well provided for and then women are told they have to give reasons for not wanting males in with them as if NO isn't good enough, which it bloody well is. It is beyond ridiculous.

OP - I know it's hard but is there no way you can get together with other colleagues to raise the issue? Your employers HAVE to listen to you. You are covered by equality law and are entitled to reasonable provision of single-sex spaces. Your voice matters as much as anyone else's.

Why is it grim to share a toilet with a man? I do that at home, at family houses, friends' houses and when I use a disabled toilet.

Many of us let men stick their willies in us, even in our mouths. Why on earth is it "grim" to use the same toilet as one? They aren't all filthy beasts.

was trying to understand her, but of course it's "because I do" scenario and no explanation given.

Why does she need to explain? She said she feels vulnerable. That's enough. And politely requesting that you don't @ me. There's no need when I was on the thread minutes before.

I suspect that that applies to the majority of women on here. I've shared a loo with my husband, son and male friends for years and survived.

Yes, that would be male strangers

I find people insisting on referring to MTF as ‘men’ really gross.

That's really too bad. Don't try to compel women to lie.

Oh and what "horrific process" would that be? You are of course aware that less than 5% have "bottom" surgery?

Do you let random, unknown men stick their willies in your mouth SimulationTheorist ? And do you let them do it even when you really don't want them to, or do you expect to be able have some say in whether or not it happens?

Your husband, child, uncle, father is a stranger to someone else though. I think it's really gross that all men are tarred with the same brush.

Surely all husbands/partners are "random men" at one point, seahorses? Otherwise that would be pretty odd.

That was exactly my point earlier. I don't expect other women to be happy to share sex segregated female space where they should expect privacy with my dad or my brothers just because I am comfortable with them.

Your husband, child, uncle, father is a stranger to someone else though. I think it's really gross that all men are tarred with the same brush.

Um... Yes, that's the point. I am perfectly happy changing, being naked, going to the loo in front of my husband. I know he is a good man, who has never hurt anyone.

Does that mean he should be allowed in the ladies toilets?

We 'tar all men with the same brush' because men, as a class, are much higher risk and its impossible to know which are the good ones so we keep them all out. Are you seriously questioning this?!!!

Just no- I'm totally with the OP here as I hate being in the same space as men whilst trying to carry out a private bodily function- no ifs and s or buts. I've stopped going to my local pool after a supposedly £3 million renovation did sweet FA apart from give the place "gender neutral" changing rooms- there is no privacy in there- the only cubicles are half height or the toilets, and the loos are always with the seats up - the loos in swimming pools, they also aren't floor to celling- and, like most changing rooms in pools - have a gully that runs through to take away pool water - NOTHING IS PRIVATE AND ITS JUST UNCOMFORTABLE - PLUS CHAGING IN POOL LOOS IS JUST YEUGH...
I find its slightly different sharing a loo when it is an entirely enclosed space such as a basic wc /disabled loo which was the case in one place that I worked, but then its fully lockable, and enclosed, that doesn't however mean that its clean though!!!

They might be biological men but they’ve been through a horrific process to get to the point of living their lives as women.

Come on, manners, aren't you going to tell us about this horrific process? Do you really think putting on a dress and a wig and changing their name from Philip to Pippa (or something) is 'horrific'?

Do you really think putting on a dress and a wig and changing their name from Philip to Pippa (or something) is 'horrific'?

Indeed. There's apparently a person going by those very names who does it several times a week so it can't be that "horrific".

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/gender-fluid-exec-named-on-list-of-top-100-women-in-business-a3942896.html

I'm still here:

Still waiting for someone to explain why mixed sex toilets are a good idea.

And here:
WOMENS BOUNDARIES ARE BEING ERODED

I've stopped going to my local pool after a supposedly £3 million renovation did sweet FA apart from give the place "gender neutral" changing rooms- there is no privacy in there- the only cubicles are half height

Me too. And within a few months of opening with mixed toilets a man was caught taking photos under the cubicle doors of young girls getting changed.

Women's boundaries are bring eroded at the same time as internet porn has dehumanized young women in the eyes of many young men. I fear for the safety of young women especially- they are being groomed.