am I being a complete twat...

[mawa65]

My son was 21 last week and when he opened his cards from my 2 best friend he received £50 from each of them. Great, but here is the thing when their children were 21 (they have 2 each) we gave the boys who dont have a dad but there mum is solvent £150 each and we gave the 2 girls from our other bf who are very well off £100 each. At the time we were skint but made the effort as they were our bf kids. Help! I'm in a quandry and dont know what to do x

I have to ask OP, what were you thinking of saying/doing?

I don't think I've ever given anyone a gift worth £150 in my life! Not my own husband or my own kids or my own mother father or brother! Let alone a friend's child. Wow.

I try to be generous with friends kids and I do notice when they don’t reciprocate, especially as I only have 1 child and they usually have 2 so I spend twice as much twice! Always say to myself that I’m going to prune back next year but never do. Do you have lots of children?
I think you were ridiculously generous with your gifts to them and in truth £50 is an appropriate amount. As others say, I think you should make it clear that the presents stop now they are adults.

I doubt the op will come back to the thread.

More fool you for giving such an obscene amount of money for a friend's child's 21st. £50 is a lot of money and I would assume your child will thank them.

£150 for a friend's child birthday is so OTT as to be embarrassing for the receiver. I may give a £150 wedding present to very good friends, certainly not for a birthday outside my immediate family.

£50 is a lot of money, I'm 20 and I certainly wouldn't expect that amount next year in a card from anyone- let alone my mums best friends!

Make sure your sons say thank you, just because you gave a certain amount doesn't mean they have to reciprocate, maybe they can only afford £50? It's silly to give more money thank you can afford if you're skint.

*than you

I’m also wondering what you were going to do? There’s nothing to do at all, except say thank you

If you wanted to give the same amount exactly, who bother with the whole exchange - just give directly to your own child.

I’m actually curious about what you were going to do because I can’t imagine how that conversation would have gone!

But glad MN has made you see sense!

OP if it makes you feel any better , when my parents were 50 I spent £1000 on a special present for them.
When I was 50 they bought me a £40 gift voucher