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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know who to believe?

96 replies

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 04:26

Sorry, long one, 3.45am post due to jet lag!
Just returned from a trip to New York with DH, DS1 (13) DS2 (11) DD (6). All had a fab time.
On our final day (2 days ago), we had quite a long gap from checking out of our hotel and needing to get a cab to the airport. We just mooched about. I needed to take an item back to a shop close by, DH and children waited in a Starbucks nearby. I returned to Starbucks, and they were just finishing. We still had some time to kill so we went for a walk before returning to hotel to get our bags and leave. Just as we arrived at hotel, I checked my phone and I received a message from a stranger saying he (or his wife had) seen my husband and children leave Starbucks but they thought that one of the boys had left a rucksack. It also said they would be there for a short time. Sure enough, DS1 did not have his bag on him. The rucksack contained both his and his brothers Beats headphones, his sisters IPad (which doesn’t have a pass key, so I assume this is how the stranger got my email address), and a couple of chargers. DS and I quickly ran back to Starbucks whilst DH and I both emailed the stranger back. When we arrived, nobody was there, and the rucksack had not been handed in. At this point we thought either the stranger had taken it with them or had left it there and somebody else had taken it. DS was visibly upset in Starbucks and another stranger from the UK offered to send it back to us if it was found before his return. He gave me his number.
By this point we had to leave to catch the flight. DS 1 sobbed the entire way to the airport. At check in, my husband received an email from the person who found it saying that he didn’t want to hand it in to Starbucks as the bag contained high value items. He gave us the exact address of a police station it was taken to, very close to the area it was lost. Obviously we thanked him, and knowing that another person was willing to collect it (and the hotel we stayed in had offered to help as well), we thought there was a reasonable chance of seeing the bag again.
After we arrived home earlier today, we called the police office to determine that they had the bag and to arrange for it to be handed over. They were adamant it had not been handed in. They said it was likely to have been handed in to another station, which was closer, but I thought this was unlikely as the exact address had been given, and google maps shows me there is virtually no difference at all between the two stations in terms of distance. Checked with the other station anyway and it is not there.
DH contacted the stranger again, who was pretty surprised. He gave more details about the physical appearance of who he handed the bag to, which were fairly specific - but did not include a name. He also was not given a receipt. However, he was able to give the time, the appearance of the officer who took the bag, the appearance of another officer who was on the same desk, and also said that the captain of the department was on the stairs saying goodbye to a reporter, and they caught each other’s eye, which I think are quite specific details. I called the police again, but they are adamant that the person would have been given a receipt, and they don’t have it....however, why would the stranger be so helpful if it had not been handed in. He emailed my husband again last night saying that he was staying close by so could return to the police station, and suggested we call them again at that particular time (24 hours after it was handed in, as the same officers might be on shift and therefore more likely to be able to shed some light). The stranger always responds quickly to my husband, is very willing to help and is incredulous that the police don’t have the item. However, we are very aware that this person is probably on holiday and we don’t want to keep harassing him.
Other details not mentioned are that the stranger only responds to my husbands emails (perhaps mine go to his junk?) and I think he is not American as he uses the word “rucksack” - which the Americans don’t use. Also, when I gave the specific details of what the officer looked like, (sex, hair length and colour, accent, tattoos), it was very clear that the officer on the phone had an idea of who this officer could be but was not able to give me any further help...
So......either the police have made a mistake and have not logged the item properly, the police have taken the bag (I think this is unlikely, but they are adamant it wasn’t handed in, or, we are being led on a wild goose chase by an apparently extremely helpful Good Samaritan....what do you reckon?

OP posts:
floraloctopus · 30/05/2019 04:50

That's weird. I think he's decided to keep the bag.

redwineagain · 30/05/2019 04:59

It sounds like a lot of hassle. Were you insured?

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 05:04

Yes, we are insured, but I will have to get a police report done, which I also think is a lot of hassle! It’s just soooooo strange!

OP posts:
Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 05:05

I am also not sure that as the bag was left in the coffee shop, that our insurance would cover it?

OP posts:
Birdie6 · 30/05/2019 05:07

Sounds like the "stranger" is having some fun, leading you on a wild goose chase.

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 05:15

Birdie...yes, maybe you are right. But surely the police could check if some of the details given are correct? Was the “Captain” in the building at that time? Was there a reporter there? If no, then clearly I’m being led down the garden path. Surely there is CCTV of the area which could be checked? All it would take is a quick conversation and that would be able to solve the riddle? It’s the attitude that as it hasn’t been logged then there is nothing they can do to help me that I’m finding a bit frustrating!

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 30/05/2019 05:36

It’s difficult though because whilst it might only take a few minutes of digging/chasing, the police at that station probably don’t have time to spend doing that.

I’d guess that the stranger is playing games and dicking you about, sorry.

MaxiPaddy · 30/05/2019 05:36

There would be CCTV in the police station, but not around. The US isn't like the UK, and doesn't do surveillance like you guys do.

CheddarandCrackers · 30/05/2019 05:37

It’s the attitude that as it hasn’t been logged then there is nothing they can do to help me that I’m finding a bit frustrating!

What do you expect them to do? Seriously?

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 05:44

Cheddar - just to check if there was a reporter in the building? Or even the “Captain”? To ask whoever was on the front desk at the time the item was handed in if they remember anything? Just one of the above things would allow me to draw a line under it. The very helpful officer I spoke to recognised the description I gave of the person it was meant to have been handed into, but because the bag was not “logged” was unable to help further. Is it beyond the realms of possibility that a mistake was made?

OP posts:
LeslieYep · 30/05/2019 06:02

Any chance of you using find my iPhone/iPad?
The helpful stranger could have gone into the building, checked out who was on duty and then left without handing in your bag.

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 06:06

Leslie - the find my iPad function only works if it is connected to the internet I think? Which it wasn’t.
I have wondered the same as you re just walking into the station, but what a weird thing to do! If there was CCTV of the reception area I guess this would show up, but I totally accept that they are unlikely to have the time to check.

OP posts:
Cherrysherbet · 30/05/2019 06:07

Your child lost a bag of valuables in New York City, and you are surprised it’s not easy to get it back? Sorry, but you seem to be looking for someone to blame.....it’s one of those things. I’m sure the police have much more important things to worry about.

parrotonthesofa · 30/05/2019 06:15

Well I think it's gonna be difficult to resolve now you are back home. I'd just count it as lost and claim on insurance.

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 06:24

Cherry - I’m not surprised that it’s not going to be easy. At all! I just think that after being able to give a fairly specific description of an officer who the bag was alleged to have been handed into, at a specific time and a specific place, along with other details about what was happening at the same tine in the same room could possibly warrant a little bit more than a “computer says no” response. Especially in light of the fact that the officer I spoke to recognised the description of the person it was handed into (further details about what they looked and sounded like were provided but I didn’t put them on here). The officer, whilst helpful did tell me something factually incorrect in that the bag was probably handed into another police station which was significantly closer. It isn’t according to Google. I do have a way of getting the bag home if it’s whereabouts is found, which I know is unlikely.

OP posts:
IcelandicYoghurt · 30/05/2019 06:28

A police officer in NYC would have a lot to lose by being dishonest (they get paid well and their pension are great iirc). I guess its possible they made a mistake but it seems unlikely they'd lose something as large as a rucksack. I think it's more likely that's this good Samaritan is actually a scammer who will end up asking for money etc.

Either way, to get the rucksack back you are going to have to pay a huge amount of postage. Do you have travel insurance? I think you should just claim on that if you can. Also cancel any cards etc that may be accessable via the iPad.

IcelandicYoghurt · 30/05/2019 06:30

It may be frustrating as it seems "just out of reach" but I'd maybe try once more with the police station (after time for a shift change maybe) and they cut your losses.

Mummadeeze · 30/05/2019 06:31

This would drive me mad too. Can you ask the stranger who handed in the bag for his name and mobile number and try speaking to him in person? That might help determine if he is genuine or not.

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 06:36

Icelandic - I actually know a couple of people in New York who are there for a few more days and would be willing to collect the bag and bring back the valuable items (headphones and iPad) in their luggage... I’m not worried about the bag itself. It is the fact that it feels “just out of reach” which is frustrating! I will call the police later today - they suggested this themselves.

OP posts:
MaybeitsMaybelline · 30/05/2019 06:37

Personally I think it’s less stress to claim on the insurance and a lesson learnt by all.

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 06:39

We have the mans name and email address. I will ask my husband to try to get his number and call him. All of his emails are sent via a Mac, and there was a family with a man working on a Mac sitting closely to us in Starbucks.

OP posts:
Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 06:42

Believe me lessons have been learned! By all members of the family, and I know that we only have ourselves to blame for the careless loss of the bag in the first place. Still, it’s pretty tough that we thought we would be able to get it back and it looks like some twat is leading us down the garden path.

OP posts:
Jessbow · 30/05/2019 06:49

This person who supposedly handed in the rucksack took an awful lot of notice of what was going on around him- who was where, talking to who, what they were wearing, tattoo's etc- yet failed to get a receipt for the property they handed over!

When they found it they rang you- that I believe was possibly genuine.
You said ''Ohhh cant return, just on our way to airport...…….''

They are dicking you about. They never handed it anywhere.

AnnabelleBronstein · 30/05/2019 06:50

Either way you’re not getting that bag back. Let it go and hope your son has learned to take better care with his belongings.

TheKitchenWitch · 30/05/2019 06:51

This sounds so incredibly unlikely, every bit of it tbh.