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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know who to believe?

96 replies

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 04:26

Sorry, long one, 3.45am post due to jet lag!
Just returned from a trip to New York with DH, DS1 (13) DS2 (11) DD (6). All had a fab time.
On our final day (2 days ago), we had quite a long gap from checking out of our hotel and needing to get a cab to the airport. We just mooched about. I needed to take an item back to a shop close by, DH and children waited in a Starbucks nearby. I returned to Starbucks, and they were just finishing. We still had some time to kill so we went for a walk before returning to hotel to get our bags and leave. Just as we arrived at hotel, I checked my phone and I received a message from a stranger saying he (or his wife had) seen my husband and children leave Starbucks but they thought that one of the boys had left a rucksack. It also said they would be there for a short time. Sure enough, DS1 did not have his bag on him. The rucksack contained both his and his brothers Beats headphones, his sisters IPad (which doesn’t have a pass key, so I assume this is how the stranger got my email address), and a couple of chargers. DS and I quickly ran back to Starbucks whilst DH and I both emailed the stranger back. When we arrived, nobody was there, and the rucksack had not been handed in. At this point we thought either the stranger had taken it with them or had left it there and somebody else had taken it. DS was visibly upset in Starbucks and another stranger from the UK offered to send it back to us if it was found before his return. He gave me his number.
By this point we had to leave to catch the flight. DS 1 sobbed the entire way to the airport. At check in, my husband received an email from the person who found it saying that he didn’t want to hand it in to Starbucks as the bag contained high value items. He gave us the exact address of a police station it was taken to, very close to the area it was lost. Obviously we thanked him, and knowing that another person was willing to collect it (and the hotel we stayed in had offered to help as well), we thought there was a reasonable chance of seeing the bag again.
After we arrived home earlier today, we called the police office to determine that they had the bag and to arrange for it to be handed over. They were adamant it had not been handed in. They said it was likely to have been handed in to another station, which was closer, but I thought this was unlikely as the exact address had been given, and google maps shows me there is virtually no difference at all between the two stations in terms of distance. Checked with the other station anyway and it is not there.
DH contacted the stranger again, who was pretty surprised. He gave more details about the physical appearance of who he handed the bag to, which were fairly specific - but did not include a name. He also was not given a receipt. However, he was able to give the time, the appearance of the officer who took the bag, the appearance of another officer who was on the same desk, and also said that the captain of the department was on the stairs saying goodbye to a reporter, and they caught each other’s eye, which I think are quite specific details. I called the police again, but they are adamant that the person would have been given a receipt, and they don’t have it....however, why would the stranger be so helpful if it had not been handed in. He emailed my husband again last night saying that he was staying close by so could return to the police station, and suggested we call them again at that particular time (24 hours after it was handed in, as the same officers might be on shift and therefore more likely to be able to shed some light). The stranger always responds quickly to my husband, is very willing to help and is incredulous that the police don’t have the item. However, we are very aware that this person is probably on holiday and we don’t want to keep harassing him.
Other details not mentioned are that the stranger only responds to my husbands emails (perhaps mine go to his junk?) and I think he is not American as he uses the word “rucksack” - which the Americans don’t use. Also, when I gave the specific details of what the officer looked like, (sex, hair length and colour, accent, tattoos), it was very clear that the officer on the phone had an idea of who this officer could be but was not able to give me any further help...
So......either the police have made a mistake and have not logged the item properly, the police have taken the bag (I think this is unlikely, but they are adamant it wasn’t handed in, or, we are being led on a wild goose chase by an apparently extremely helpful Good Samaritan....what do you reckon?

OP posts:
LeslieYep · 30/05/2019 06:51

If the device is offline or switched off, you can still put it into lost mode, lock it or remotely erase it.
The next time the device goes online the actions take effect.

If you don't have find my iPad enabled change the apple ID password to prevent anyone accessing iCloud data or using other services such as iMessage or iTunes.

Change the passwords for any email or social media on it too.

Hope you sort it though.

Sockworkshop · 30/05/2019 06:56

How did a complete stranger know it was your DH and DC and know how to contact you ?

ShirleyPhallus · 30/05/2019 06:59

Do you have find my iPad enabled?

IcelandicYoghurt · 30/05/2019 07:01

Ooh that's a very good point Shirley.

coconuttelegraph · 30/05/2019 07:02

I'd be the same as you OP, very frustrating.

People are strange but the good Samaritan messing you around doesn't seem likely imo

Eustasiavye · 30/05/2019 07:04

How bizzare.
Hope you get it sorted op.

CrumpetyTea · 30/05/2019 07:05

I can't see why the stranger would be lying to you - if they'd wanted to steal the bag it would have been so much easier for them not to contact you at all- why go to all this trouble.

Its highly likely it can't delivered to the police station - they were probably too busy to process it properly and just parked it to do later and now have lost it/forgotten about it- best answer would be if the stranger goes there and finds the person he was speaking to himself and then calls you

Medievalist · 30/05/2019 07:07

I really wouldn't want to engage with the stranger - all sounds too weird. Just claim on your holiday / house contents insurance.

heyd · 30/05/2019 07:09

All sounds very odd, I would learn lessons and move on. I don't think you are going to get it back

RitaTheBeater · 30/05/2019 07:11

She’s already tried find my ipad. It doesn’t work when the ipad isn’t connected to the internet.

The stranger used the unlocked ipad in the bag to email the Op.

Either it’s not been processed properly at the police station or the stranger has kept it. Either they will,ask you for money to post it back or they are just enjoying themselves.

Littleheart5 · 30/05/2019 07:15

This all sounds bizarre! I think I would be creeped out talking to the ‘helpful stranger’ at this stage and just leave it!!

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 07:16

Sock - my email address contains my first name, which is obviously female. I think he was in Starbucks (with his family, I vaguely remember them being close by as I came in later and was looking for a spare seat to bring over to where my family were sat). When we left, the stranger saw the bag and remembered us (or at least my husband and the boys leaving; I hung back a little bit as youngest daughter was faffing). He took the bag, looked in it and saw the iPad without a lock in it. We have Apple family, on the iPad, and it is clearly a child’s iPad (big thick pink rubber case with a handle and covered in sticky fingerprints probably). I am the admin on the Apple family account so I’m guessing he looked at my address and then sent the email from his Mac.
He did say in his original email that he thought the bag belonged to us, but he couldn’t be sure as it might have been left there before us....which it could have.
I think that if he was going to keep the bag, it would have been much simpler to say it was handed in over the counter in Starbucks rather than handed in to a police station

OP posts:
Eminybob · 30/05/2019 07:19

How did the stranger get your email address?

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 07:19

Exactly Rita...the point of my AIBU was to ask people’s opinions as to how much beyond the realms of possibility it is that it wasn’t processed properly. I have been given a fairly clear consensus on this!

OP posts:
Eminybob · 30/05/2019 07:19

Sorry, x post

NeatFreakMama · 30/05/2019 07:23

I'd forget the bag, you're being led down the garden path by someone.

3luckystars · 30/05/2019 07:25

Sound like a nutter.

Tohaveandtohold · 30/05/2019 07:26

I honestly don’t know why the stranger would go through all that trouble of sending you an email, getting a description of a police officer etc if he wants to steal the rucksack. That all just seem unnecessary. There’s no way one can be sure of what happened but I think it will be easier for you to just claim on your travel insurance.

Seeleyboo · 30/05/2019 07:28

Sounds like the stranger loves a wind up. Hes making up the whole scenario. Finding it rather amusing that he is the hero who will return the bag only to sit back and laugh while he watches Netflix on your iPad using your beats headphones. What a knob.

pasturesgreen · 30/05/2019 07:33

I'm also of the opinion that the so-called Good Samaritan is in fact a run-of-the-mill thief who is having a bit of fun leading you around a wild goose chase and keeping your hopes up.
The bag is lost, chalk it up to experience and move on. It would have been very difficult to retrieve even with the assistance of the helpful stranger, I believe.

Aveeno2017 · 30/05/2019 07:34

How did the stranger get your phone number to tell you about the rucksack?

Isatis · 30/05/2019 07:38

He did say in his original email that he thought the bag belonged to us, but he couldn’t be sure as it might have been left there before us....which it could have.

I don't understand the logic of that. If he got your email address from an iPad in the bag, why would it belong to someone who could have left it there before you?

Isatis · 30/05/2019 07:38

Aveeno, OP has explained that - read her posts.

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 30/05/2019 07:39

I think the new iPad needs a lock on it! There was obviously personal information on it that a stranger scrolled through and determined close relatives. Hope there wasn't a one click credit card on it! A 'normal' person would just have handed the bag in to someone behind the counter I would have thought. Contacting two separate people on a device sounds a bit weird.

Allhailthesun · 30/05/2019 07:44

God that it so frustrating.

However it’s one of those things you can do nothing about and will probably never solve.I’d also stop contact with the bloke in case he is a weirdo getting kicks from this. He can’t help more than he has already regardless.

Ask St Antony to help return your lost bag - I’m not at all religious but we ask him in my family and he finds everything ( contact lenses a speciality). Claim on insurance and use it as a good dinner party story.

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