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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know who to believe?

96 replies

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 04:26

Sorry, long one, 3.45am post due to jet lag!
Just returned from a trip to New York with DH, DS1 (13) DS2 (11) DD (6). All had a fab time.
On our final day (2 days ago), we had quite a long gap from checking out of our hotel and needing to get a cab to the airport. We just mooched about. I needed to take an item back to a shop close by, DH and children waited in a Starbucks nearby. I returned to Starbucks, and they were just finishing. We still had some time to kill so we went for a walk before returning to hotel to get our bags and leave. Just as we arrived at hotel, I checked my phone and I received a message from a stranger saying he (or his wife had) seen my husband and children leave Starbucks but they thought that one of the boys had left a rucksack. It also said they would be there for a short time. Sure enough, DS1 did not have his bag on him. The rucksack contained both his and his brothers Beats headphones, his sisters IPad (which doesn’t have a pass key, so I assume this is how the stranger got my email address), and a couple of chargers. DS and I quickly ran back to Starbucks whilst DH and I both emailed the stranger back. When we arrived, nobody was there, and the rucksack had not been handed in. At this point we thought either the stranger had taken it with them or had left it there and somebody else had taken it. DS was visibly upset in Starbucks and another stranger from the UK offered to send it back to us if it was found before his return. He gave me his number.
By this point we had to leave to catch the flight. DS 1 sobbed the entire way to the airport. At check in, my husband received an email from the person who found it saying that he didn’t want to hand it in to Starbucks as the bag contained high value items. He gave us the exact address of a police station it was taken to, very close to the area it was lost. Obviously we thanked him, and knowing that another person was willing to collect it (and the hotel we stayed in had offered to help as well), we thought there was a reasonable chance of seeing the bag again.
After we arrived home earlier today, we called the police office to determine that they had the bag and to arrange for it to be handed over. They were adamant it had not been handed in. They said it was likely to have been handed in to another station, which was closer, but I thought this was unlikely as the exact address had been given, and google maps shows me there is virtually no difference at all between the two stations in terms of distance. Checked with the other station anyway and it is not there.
DH contacted the stranger again, who was pretty surprised. He gave more details about the physical appearance of who he handed the bag to, which were fairly specific - but did not include a name. He also was not given a receipt. However, he was able to give the time, the appearance of the officer who took the bag, the appearance of another officer who was on the same desk, and also said that the captain of the department was on the stairs saying goodbye to a reporter, and they caught each other’s eye, which I think are quite specific details. I called the police again, but they are adamant that the person would have been given a receipt, and they don’t have it....however, why would the stranger be so helpful if it had not been handed in. He emailed my husband again last night saying that he was staying close by so could return to the police station, and suggested we call them again at that particular time (24 hours after it was handed in, as the same officers might be on shift and therefore more likely to be able to shed some light). The stranger always responds quickly to my husband, is very willing to help and is incredulous that the police don’t have the item. However, we are very aware that this person is probably on holiday and we don’t want to keep harassing him.
Other details not mentioned are that the stranger only responds to my husbands emails (perhaps mine go to his junk?) and I think he is not American as he uses the word “rucksack” - which the Americans don’t use. Also, when I gave the specific details of what the officer looked like, (sex, hair length and colour, accent, tattoos), it was very clear that the officer on the phone had an idea of who this officer could be but was not able to give me any further help...
So......either the police have made a mistake and have not logged the item properly, the police have taken the bag (I think this is unlikely, but they are adamant it wasn’t handed in, or, we are being led on a wild goose chase by an apparently extremely helpful Good Samaritan....what do you reckon?

OP posts:
springydaff · 30/05/2019 08:24

I agree with RedPink!

Honestly, you lot - it's just a guy doing a good turn with a bit of inefficiency thrown in by said police.

I despair at the paranoia and suspicion here tbh. People do good things for altruistic reasons sometimes - quite often, actually.

Fifthtimelucky · 30/05/2019 08:36

Could there be a language issue? Presumably when you say 'rucksack' you mean smallish backpack that would count as hand luggage?

Could the police be assuming you mean a large rucksack of the type that would be used by backpackers or those on DofE expeditions? They might have looked around for one of those, not seen one, and not realised that what they were supposed to be looking for was a small backpack.

I think, as I usually do, that this is more likely to be a cock up than a conspiracy.

OP: hope you get the bag back.

HisBetterHalf · 30/05/2019 08:37

Cant you check the location of the ipad

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 08:39

Fifthtimelucky - I use the word “backpack” to describe to the police what I mean. The reason for this is when I returned to Starbucks, they didn’t know what a “rucksack” was! Yes it is a usual size rucksack, which was to be DS’ handluggage.

OP posts:
Eustasiavye · 30/05/2019 08:45

I also think the police might have it.
Sometimes officials can't be bothered with paper work, it happens.
Dd left her swim bag on a train I rang straight away but was passed from pillar to post. Rang the departure station "oh contact the arrival station"
Rang the arrival station " oh ring the train company"
Rang the train company " oh ring customer services"
Rang customer services "oh you need to ring a centralised number now"

Well they were shut.
It was only a child a swim bag with a wet swimsuit, towel, goggles and toiletries but it never materialised.
I am 99% sure that if the original person I spoke to had spoken to a guard on the train that it would have been found, yet nobody took responsibility for lost property instead they all pissed about deciding who's department of was until it was pointless.
The main reason I was annoyed was because it was a new costume and dd needed it for our forthcoming holiday.

I have a relative who works for the post office.
You would not believe the number of items left "unclaimed" all of which they keep if unclaimed.
I don't think there is much effort made in contacting the intended recipient either. I've been. In there when he wasn't working to collect a parcel, only to be told it wasn't there when it actually was. Had to go back in when my relative was working for him to get it....

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 09:04

I think that part of the reason for my frustration was because when I spoke to the police they would barely let me finish before they decided that it it MUST have been handed in elsewhere, due to the fact it was nearer to Starbucks. When I looked this up myself, both police stations were more or less identical distances away, by both the way the crow flies and by actual distance walked / driven. Although he was helpful in that he was able to give me phone numbers for other people to call, I got the impression that as I had left the country, he couldn’t be arsed. However, I do have the means of getting it back if located

OP posts:
onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 30/05/2019 09:06

I think it's at the police station - why would the stranger risk giving his details away and making himself contactable if he'd stolen it. I don't think it's suspicious that he remembered so many details of the police officers etc. It's the sort of thing I'd remember.
Is it possible that you got the the station so quickly after it being handed in that it just hadn't been processed so wasn't on the computer.
I'd definitely try calling the station again and be insistent that this is where the stranger said he'd handed it into and that it must be there.

tresbe · 30/05/2019 09:06

Very strange ... I agree the stranger does sound odd. If I ever saw a bag left somewhere I wouldn't personally have a rummage and get out the iPad I would just hand it straight in. But then why is he going through all this hassle emailing etcConfusedAgree with PP to speak to this person on the phone as I think you will then be able to tell if they are lying.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 30/05/2019 09:08

part of the reason for my frustration was because when I spoke to the police they would barely let me finish before they decided that it it MUST have been handed in elsewhere

Yes, this is suspicious. More so than the stranger's actions in my opinion.

Medievalist · 30/05/2019 09:53

Amazed that anyone finding a backpack anywhere like Starbucks wouldn't just hand it in to the staff.

If he'd just done that the OP's contacts would have been able to collect it for her.

I have to say, not doubting the OP at all, but this would make a cracking start to a thriller.

coconuttelegraph · 30/05/2019 10:41

I think it's at the police station too, it's understandable that a harrassed front desk person might be offhand, can't be bothered

If the stranger is up to no good why email at all, for all he know the OP might have returned immediately, not everyone is a messer

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 30/05/2019 11:36

Am I the only one, who in this day and age, would see a discarded rucksack and give it the widest birth possible?

user1473878824 · 30/05/2019 13:38

Shouldn't you be this busy bollocking your children for losing a bag full of incredibly expensive stuff and then claiming on the insurance?

swingofthings · 30/05/2019 13:45

I would have done exactly what this man seems to have done. I do it us much more likely it was handed to someone in the police station who put it somewhere then left his shift and the new shift has no clue about it because let's face it, they have more important fish to catch then worry about a lost bag.

coconuttelegraph · 30/05/2019 15:19

Shouldn't you be this busy bollocking your children for losing a bag full of incredibly expensive stuff and then claiming on the insurance?

Yes, because we all know that posting about an issue on MN means that no other action is possible in the world, ever. How on earth do you know what has or hasn't been said to the child?

user1473878824 · 30/05/2019 15:34

@coconuttelegraph Whoops, reading that back I can see the tone in it, was meant to be slightly light hearted.

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 16:43

Aghhhhhhh! Case solved - sort of!
After speaking to the police today, they do have the bag and full contents. So was inefficiency yesterday.
However, they will not allow anyone to pick it up on my behalf nor can they send it back (obviously at my cost). I’m not sure that insurance will pay out on this, as it wasn’t stolen.

OP posts:
Eustasiavye · 30/05/2019 17:24

Glad the mystery is solved, sort of. I thought the good Samaritan was just that.

Nightoutasap · 30/05/2019 19:36

Just soooooo frustrating that they are refusing to hand it over. I think their website says they will hand over property to a notarised individual - so the next call will be about why they will not do this, despite it saying so on their website. I am also pursuing the insurance route.

OP posts:
Pinkprincess1978 · 30/05/2019 19:39

Surely you can give permission - even emailing copy of your driving license for example and giving full details of the person collecting them.

I'm glad it turned up and your Good Samaritan was just that.

MeltedCrayons · 30/05/2019 19:48

Glad it was indeed a good Samaritan!

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