To think all men would cheat if they thought they could get away with it?

[HelloDolly69]

Just as it says, do you think all men would cheat if they weren’t found out?

I have concerns about my husband and his friend from work. I know they’re friends but I don’t think he’s being honest with me about their level of contact. I know it’s wrong but I looked at his phone bill and he’s been texting her and phoning her a lot. Certainly more than he has let on.

I’ve had boyfriends cheat on me in the past so maybe I’m being paranoid. I don’t know.

I can’t confront him because he’ll know I’ve been snooping.

I think anyone would cheat if there were zero consequences. But hurting the other person is always a consequence so plenty of people wouldn’t cheat because if that, male or female.

No, of course they wouldn't.

I feel sad for you OP to feel this way.

Of course YABU and very sexist too!
No, not all men (or women for that fact) would cheat nor do they have a "biological desire to spread their seed". Utter nonsense. Sort our your suspicions and distrust with your DH but don't go around spouting bullshit.

@PollyPelargonium52 What's the sample size for your ever so scientific research?

Polly are your views the result of actual research or is it just your opinion based on your experiences?

OP, forget the mumsnet myth that snooping is somehow more of a sin than the cheating itself. If he's contacting her a lot in secret then you have a problem and it's time to confront him, or gather more evidence. Don't take any of his shit about invasion of privacy either.

@PollyPelargonium52 I'd guess your views are more a result of your poor taste in men than anything else. Of course, I'd love to see the factual evidence you have to back up your statistics?

Where has @PollyPelargonium52 claimed to be quoting statistics? It’s an opinion and totally valid as anyone else’s.

To the best of my knowledge DH has never cheated in 30 years+ of marriage however, if Sandra Bullock was to offer it on a plate and there was no way I’d ever find out, I couldn’t put my hand on my heart and say I think he’d bypass the opportunity.

I think it's natural to not stop finding other people attractive just because you are with someone.

Is to act upon that wrong in any other sense than because people (in monogomous societies at least) have decided that it is wrong, a betrayl, etc etc.

I think if you took away those psychological attitudes plenty of both men and women would act upon the aformentioned attractions to other people and have one-off shags outside the relationship. Especially in relationships that have been going a while.

But I don't think either ALL men would or ALL women would. For some they really wouldn't want to, even without there being any sense of wrong/betrayal about it.

I thought that, biologically, men wanted to ‘spread their seed’!

And 'biologically' promiscuity in women increases the chances of strong offspring. Humans are not simple organisms.

Speaking for my people: no, we do not all cheat.

what a stupid post. Why would ou only generalise and say men only? Women can and do cheat too, you know?

@NameChangeNugget
If you actually read their replies you will see she said this: I would say at least one in three men would cheat, one in three would never cheat and one in three would like to cheat but lack the requisite bottle.

Given the opportunity I think most men would, yes.

@Happyspud

Yes, I think you're right. If you could guarantee no consequences at all; no stis, no pregnancies and no hurting your partner. So "getting away with it", I think a lot of people would do it. But there's never a guarantee of that which is why most people don't.

There is a statistic that 1 in 25 kids father is not who they think it is.

I've heard this (although I thought the figure was higher, or do I mean lower?). Anyway...

I've reached the ripe old age of 55 and I know tens of men who have been unfaithful (although admittedly a lot of them in my circle were with the same woman - not me I hasten to add ).

I only know of three women. Or maybe women don't feel the need to brag.

And 'biologically' promiscuity in women increases the chances of strong offspring. Humans are not simple organisms.

The theories are often not PC though. The female will be the one who gets pregnant and then raises the baby. Whereas less intensive input into the whole process is required of males, so they can be freer to diddle more females. Or something.

@GreytExpectations

“I would say” does not infer the use of statistics merely the expression of a person opinion. That’s how I read it

A lot of women would too!

Not all but many would. I worked in a very male dominated environment for a lot of years and most were at it. There were a few notable exceptions and they generally had good careers and were moving up quickly. Chaotic personal lives would have been frowned upon so I am not sure how much of it was loyalty to their wife or a combination of that, and protecting their career.

@NameChangeNugget
Then what did you infer when she stated this after: but anybody that thinks any differently from this is so naive ?

I've known a lot of men, from all walks of life, and in all sorts of relationships, and sadly, yes, a large proportion of them would and do cheat if they think they can get away with it.

The one that really stands out is one that I thought was one of the handful I've known who I would put in the "never cheat" camp. A decent, kind, honest, hard working man. When he died we found out he had regularly meetings with a prostitute.

@GreytExpectations

I read it as someone expressing a personal opinion.

Nope. Ludicrous OP.

Your husband issue sounds concerning, you should post that in Relationships.