To think my DF is being ripped off.

[Faultymain5]

My DF decided to go on holiday with his cousins to celebrate another cousin's 70th birthday.

From UK to US (Orlando).

He paid £900 to include flight and accommodation (airbnb between 6 adults (2 kids but I wouldn't count them and clearly they haven't). I was told that should be more than enough (so assume there is some money left over, but never told how much). Flights are about £500 for economy. Accommodation could be pricey they went for 3 weeks.

My dad is terrible with money and has memory issues after a stroke (but has always been allowed to be terrible with money), so normally I or my mum will travel with him (spoil him) and ensure that he's spending reasonable sums. I gave my Cousin £200 (this is to pay for any places they need to get to). I gave my dad £400, this equated to slightly over $500. I gave him $400 and $100 in a separate bag (in case of emergencies).

After day 7 I get asked for £40 as he wants to give $50 to his cousin for her birthday. I had to speak to him, as I felt that he should have more than enough for him (considering there is an emergency fund).

I got a message back from my cousin today saying my DF has around $150 left and they've got 9 days so it might be tight giving her $50. How in seven days do they get through $600? I know it's Orlando and I haven't been for a while, but still. One person who has paid all accommodation and flights, couldn't possibly have used all that up already could they?

I had to ask what they were doing and informed them that they need to cut their cloth accordingly. Was I wrong to say that?

I know my Dad is rubbish with money (his fault and mum's for enabling), however he's also 73 years old, doesn't work, so I'm not sure everything they're doing he needs to be doing too. Should I just send the extra money?

Your father is not being ripped off.
You seem to have an unrealistic ideas as to how much he should be spending daily.

Less than £100 a day on holiday is hardly being extravagant.

I presume he’s eating three meals daily, drinking coffee and possibly a beer, wine or cocktail. Visiting tourist places, taxis, tips (remember how much tips are in the US) buying souvenirs for himself and family,

Send the extra money.

I have been to the US twice this year after not having been for 4 years. It is far more expensive from the last time I went. The exchange rate is really crap. Whereas eating out over there used to be really cheap it is on a par with here now. Also I was not in traditionally tourist areas so I can only assume that Florida and Orlando in particular would be able to charge inflated rates.

In a group it is easy to say let's go out to breakfast etc because no-one wants to cook for a large group, clean up etc. Even breakfast could be $15 a day, lunch similar and dinner $35 before you even start on drinks.

Alcohol is also more expensive over there than here.

I think one of the tricky things about Orlando is the hidden costs. You drive to Universal the parking is $20, you drive to NASA it is on toll roads. There are lots of these costs which add up.
Yes if you make the effort and travel outside of the main part of Orlando you get to Walmart which is well priced, but the closet supermarket to the main areas is Wholefoods which is like Waitrose in steroids.

You even describe yourself as "annoyed at being inconvenienced", I don't know why there's the faux surprise that people are suggesting you're angry.

The online passport renewal is really very quick, I've recently done it myself. You'd have to see your dad for the digital photo but that's all. It seems like you're determined to make a big deal out of a few minor bits of admin and one lift. If that was so you could feel happy you'd helped your dad it would be positive, but using it to fuel your anger won't help anyone, least of all yourself. Why don't you admit your actual annoyance is because you weren't invited and aren't having a holiday yourself?

@MRex I was invited. I didn't want to go. No anger there. You are mistaken. Try not to read something into what isn't there.

Like I said, in 10 years I'll be contacting you to do his passport again.

Let me see if I can simplify: Annoyed at inconvenience, angry at being called financially abusive, tight and all the other insults hurled becuase this is AIBU, when not based on facts or my reality.

My anger is reserved for that and that alone.

@NannyRed seriously it's 5 pages long, only 5 pages.

OP, visit Orlando twice a year for past five years and must say, last year I notice a steep jump in supermarket prices between Easter and Christmas. So much so that when we returned I spoke to an American friend here to say it must be tough to be poor in America as even Walmart was expensive for food.
However, the $600 your Dad has already spent is likely to include a 'big shop' and so costs should be less for the remaining time as there should be food in the house to use up?

FWIW...We budget approximately $100 a day per person excluding Park tickets as even breakfast at iHop was expensive last time.

Lonecatwithkitten I absolutely agree about the hidden costs, but what are you counting as the "main part" re supermarkets? There's a Walmart right by the Visitors Centre and a perfectly decent Goodies just over the road ...

The online passport renewal is really very quick, I've recently done it myself.

As have I and the whole process is longer than 15 minutes.

Let me see if I can simplify: Annoyed at inconvenience, angry at being called financially abusive, tight and all the other insults hurled becuase this is AIBU, when not based on facts or my reality.

It doesn't even take 2 minutes to transfer money online. Is that really such an inconvenience to make sure your dad has enough cash in another country?

For LA and Vegas I budgeted $100 a day. You eat out, tip, tax is added to shopping at the till.

Honestly there unrealistic. Easilybsownf 150-200 a day there everything is so expensive

Also
ESTA also not 5 minutes.

Yes it is, I’ve had to do them and renew them over the last 10 years. It’s name, dob, nationality, address, flight number, where you’re staying, do you have the following illness, we’re you a nazi, have you kidnapped an American child. Pay $7 and you get you Esta.
Renewal is easier.

If it was a Visa then yeah, takes about 2 hours online paper work, a trip to the embassy and $100.

@Puzzledandpissedoff you see I was there 10 days and only ever found the Walmart way out in Kissimmee. My point is you are not local and don't know where the cheap supermarket is or the free parking and so on.

@Eliza9919 - you still here? Even though your financial abuse claim had no basis, you keep digging for more. In answer to your question, yes anything where I have to do anything out of what I expected in a day, does annoy me. It is inconvenient. Just because it is minor and wont take a moment or 3, doesnt mean that it didnt annoy me. Just because im going a little out of my way for a loved one, doesnt mean I have no right to be bothered/troubled/irked or any other word that I may feel at that moment.

@MorganKitten it's also nationality when born, town you were born, year you got current nationality, whether you have passport for other nationality. Did yours not have that? It also asks for parents details I believe. I called him up about 3 times for the stuff I didnt have the answer to.

@Lonecatwithkitten they are staying near people with knowledge of the area. I would not assume they went to the most expensive places to shop.

@SoupDragon - we obviously had different timings then. We're you just renewing and doing the online photo? How long did you take then?

*Were not we're

You're quite right that being local make things easier, Lonecatwithkitten, but I'd be surprised if nobody in the group has net access to check where such places are ... or if they didn't look a few things up before they went, for that matter. Surely that's also a benefit of the countless visitor forums?

You found a good Walmart, though; the Kissimmee one's excellent

£600 for three weeks in Orlando?!?! This is not even close to enough - you have clearly underestimated how much he needs. And then you send them a message like that!!! Have you ever been there to know?

My esta didn’t have anything to do with my parents. But like I said, I’ve been doing them for 10 years, even with those details 10mins tops. You just need to look at the questions, save what you can/know, and then go back in to it if you need to add extra things.
I understand having a family member with memory issues is hard - my nan has dementia and my mother accident induced brain damage, but that would mean they’d need the support for the forms.
And in the grand scheme of things esta are super quick and easy, the only time they are more expensive or longer is if you use the wrong site. My friend used a third party site and it took longer to fill in.

Ok, I’ve looked at the site, yeah there’s like 5 new questions and they now ask about social media. And they say it takes on average 23mins to complete.
It also tells you what you need before you get started so should t be that tricky.

Also Florida’s tax rate is around 6% so anything he spend will be more that expected.

Most Americans actually eat out 5-6 times a week, for most meals. I lived there for a while and it’s easier than cooking. Plus doggy bags!

It's an expensive place and he's going for longer than originally thought. It seems reasonable to require more money. It's his. Send it and move on.

While the money may not have been enough, I think some people here spend waaay too much on their holiday.
We have travelled arud Europe and Asia and hardly spent anywhere near as much as some people indicate. Our most pricey trips were Japan and Scandinavia, which are quite expensive areas, and we still kept to a budget, had loads of fun visiting places and making our own food and going out occasionally and we were not miserable at all. People suggesting £100 spend a day, wow, I'm happy for you to be able to spend this much while away, but this is really not a neccesity, and being smart with spending does not equal misery!

No-one has suggested spending a certain amount is a necessity nor that not spending that much makes you miserable. They are just giving their experiences to help inform the OP so they can make a decision.

Bully for you that you spend less. I have also spent less. But maybe try not to be so gloaty and judgemental about it? It doesn't make you a better person to be more frugal (clearly).