To think my DF is being ripped off.

[Faultymain5]

My DF decided to go on holiday with his cousins to celebrate another cousin's 70th birthday.

From UK to US (Orlando).

He paid £900 to include flight and accommodation (airbnb between 6 adults (2 kids but I wouldn't count them and clearly they haven't). I was told that should be more than enough (so assume there is some money left over, but never told how much). Flights are about £500 for economy. Accommodation could be pricey they went for 3 weeks.

My dad is terrible with money and has memory issues after a stroke (but has always been allowed to be terrible with money), so normally I or my mum will travel with him (spoil him) and ensure that he's spending reasonable sums. I gave my Cousin £200 (this is to pay for any places they need to get to). I gave my dad £400, this equated to slightly over $500. I gave him $400 and $100 in a separate bag (in case of emergencies).

After day 7 I get asked for £40 as he wants to give $50 to his cousin for her birthday. I had to speak to him, as I felt that he should have more than enough for him (considering there is an emergency fund).

I got a message back from my cousin today saying my DF has around $150 left and they've got 9 days so it might be tight giving her $50. How in seven days do they get through $600? I know it's Orlando and I haven't been for a while, but still. One person who has paid all accommodation and flights, couldn't possibly have used all that up already could they?

I had to ask what they were doing and informed them that they need to cut their cloth accordingly. Was I wrong to say that?

I know my Dad is rubbish with money (his fault and mum's for enabling), however he's also 73 years old, doesn't work, so I'm not sure everything they're doing he needs to be doing too. Should I just send the extra money?

You are really out of touch! It cost me £2,000 to send my six year old with family members, who paid for a lot, 18 years ago. They only went for two weeks and park tickets and other attractions alone for a child were over £600.

Just so you know, Airbnb has a kitchen. My dad knows how to cook. He is expected to cook by everyone going. The spending money budget was created by them. Why on earth would they be eating out everyday at every meal, knowing their budget. They might as well be in a hotel.

However, I haven't been to Orlando in a while. I would have thought a supermarket shop wouldn't have broken the bank. But I stand corrected. I will send the money.

As for not trusting them, he's the one that complained the last time he went, his cousin kept borrowing money off of him and not repaying any of it back.

@pasturesgreen £600 was his TOTAL amount of spending money...cousin was given £200 'for excursions etc', Dad had a further £400 (which in dollars broke down to around 600 dollars she says). OP gave him 500 of these dollars in cash and 'hid' an 'emergency' 100 dollars in his case.

Definitely not enough money for 3 weeks in Florida.

@Ringdonna We budgeted £1k a week when we went for three weeks.
For 1 person? How many of you went?

Apologies, I misunderstood the OP. Still, the reasoning behind my post remains: more money is needed!

Let me get this straight. You allocated your DF $500 (including emergency fund) for a 3 week trip. And you think he should have plenty left over?

That’s $23 per day for all meals, transport, drinks, treats, souvenirs, etc. Even breakfast in Denny’s is going to be $9 with tax and tip.

And the £200 for activities given to cousin is not going to go that far. Attractions are £££ in Florida. Days out could easily be £25-£50 just for admission.

YABU. I really really don’t think your DF’s family are ripping him off.

So your dad has a budget of £19 a day (including the "emergency fund") for all food and drink and anything else outside of entrance fees and you're surprised that isn't enough? What planet are you on?

I’d be suspicious, given the cousin borrowed and didn’t repay last time. Is that happening again? Can you speak to your dad directly without him being overheard? It may be that he’s just paying for everyone and being generous. They surely aren’t eating out for every meal?

Presumably they should be eating in a fair amount if they're air b&bing, so have a kitchen, which should save costs.

Not necessarily. If I go self-catering it doesn’t mean I want to eat in. I might sling a breakfast together but still eat out most of the time.

I would think this sounds about right really.

600 for 3 weeks is nowhere near enough. I would probably budget myself a hundred a day, but probably more tbh. Especially for somewhere like Florida.

The key questions really are: Is it your money or his? Can you/ he afford more? If he can’t afford to spend more then you’re obviously not being able unreasonable to tell him he needs to budget, and yes if he has to miss out on some excursions well that’s part of life.

If he can afford it then it comes down to whether you think he’s getting ripped off/ throwing his money away and that really depends on what they’re doing/ the kind of holiday they’re having. If they’re eating in at their Airbnb , spending their days round a pool/ at a beach that’s going to be cheaper than eating out, going to the theme parks/ on lots of excursions.

Did you discuss what they’d be doing on their holiday beforehand? Expectations of spending budget etc.

Ultimately if he can afford it, unless he has a gambling/drink problem or you really think his cousins are taking advantage i’d give him the extra money for trips, nice meals etc. It sounds like a special one off trip and it would be a shame for him to miss out just because it’s more expensive than you’d expected.

(If it’s your money, then it depends how wealthy you are as to whether denying him the extra would be reasonable/ mean)

Doesn’t sound like much of holiday for him if he’s expected to do all the cooking and not go out in case he spends too much money.

Are they going into any of the parks? On a daily basis that's over $100 per day, even parking a car is about $25 on top, seems like an unrealistic budget, even if they self cater some meals.

Why on earth would they be eating out everyday at every meal

Well maybe because they are out and about, enjoying all that Florida has to offer, from early morning till early evening.

How miserable to spend £500 on airfare only to sit in an apartment eating cereal.

Send the man some money so he can enjoy his holiday.

He is expected to cook by everyone going.

Wtf? Why are they treating him like a servant?

Remember OP its the US and you have to tip all the time as well.
I've been twice and took 1K per week spending money as I like to buy a few clothes and perfume when I'm there.
I think your being very frugal, taxi and meals can soon mount up. I'd send him another £500 to be going on with.

This extra money - is it coming out of your own bank account or out of his?

Who’s money is it? Yours or his?

My DF can not keep up with regular trips to theme parks. He is a 73 year old retired hospital porter with a heart condition (and alcohol problem). The type able to fall asleep standing up. He is not rich, his savings are to be used on enjoyable thihngs, but I don't think he really thought this through. He definitely cannot manage to budget for this trip, which was primarily about the birthday celebration.

The budget, as stated previously was not provided by me. If all the elder gentlemen are carrying the same amount (which was decided by the organiser), then they should all be crying poverty, and sitting their behinds down imo.

Btw my dad loves cooking, that's how he shows his love to people (and shows off:)). That's his way.

However, as I said, I'm sending the money. I just thought £600 in less than 10 days was fast.

Hi OP,

I think you have your answer, there isn't any need to get defensive about it, people are just answering your ' AIBU? '.

Even when staying in an Air BNB, you would probably only expect to have breakfast at 'home', lunches and evenings meal I would expect to be either eaten out or stuff brought in..nobody wants to do budgeted supermarket shopping and cooking when they are on holiday, and it's a lot of work for that number of people.

Send your old man an extra £500 or £750 , if he doesn't spend it , it doesn't matter.

We allowed between $150-200 per day for food etc.

Definitely not enough spending money. Even if they were cooking every meal at the AirBnB place it would be tight - food is not cheap in the US.

Who goes on holiday to cook everyday.Send him the money

I think you need a serious reality check, OP.

There is no way that an AirBnb in Orlando for 8 people would have cost £400 for his share of 3 weeks. No way.

And $30 a day spending money including food? They must all be substantially subsiding him, not ripping him off.

Just