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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my friend?

98 replies

kellypp · 27/05/2019 21:50

I've been on a few dates with a guy and really like him.
Friday night we bumped into one of my friends (well she's a close friend but always does her best to make me feel stupid) anyway she sat down with us and had a drink.
Then here is where it starts ...a few days ago I said a girl called "Tina" was always commenting on his Facebook I wonder who she is.
(You know the way sometimes you talk to your friends)
She said to him "oh she's been obsessing over who Tina is,she is so jealous"
"I best not sit too close to you or she might get jealous"
Then she went on to say I'm very moody and love picking a argument (I really don't)
She went on and on and on saying things that made me look crazy and like a idiot.
Things that aren't even true..oh she loves to Facebook stalk her ex etc.
Since then he has been funny with me.
I text her earlier saying why did you do that and she said she was only joking etc .
Do I show him the text to prove she was joking?
I'm really upset about it.
We were getting on so well till she did that.
I said to him that she was only joking and he said he thought she was giving him the heads up.
I feel sick.

OP posts:
Asdfghjklll · 27/05/2019 21:53

Firstly she isn't a friend and you should really call her out on that she dropped you in it.
Not sure there is much you can do about the guy. Give him a bit of space and see what happens.

user1493413286 · 27/05/2019 21:53

That’s not the behaviour of a friend at all; I would be putting distance between her and you swiftly.
I’d keep it light with the guy and say she was joking but she’s not much of a friend and then attempt to move on from it.

Scarydinosaurs · 27/05/2019 21:55

Ditch her. What a twat.

Original poster
kellypp · 27/05/2019 21:55

He's attitude towards me totally changed.
His ex was really clingy and I think alarm bells rang.
I'm so angry at her.
She things it's a huge joke but it's my life she's messing with.

OP posts:
WoWsers16 · 27/05/2019 21:56

It sounds to me she’s jealous and has done it on purpose so agree with PP that she doesn’t sound much of a friend. She didn’t have to say all that and it sounds like she’s trying to act ‘the big I am’.
What a shame- hope it doesn’t spoil what was happening :( xx

Cherrysoup · 27/05/2019 21:56

Show him the text. Dump her ASAP, she’s no friend, is she? What a fucking awful thing for her to do, absolute sabotage. Why has she done this?

Divebar · 27/05/2019 21:56

Oh she is totally not your friend ..... a friend would totally be singing your praises. I have no idea what her motivation is ( jealousy perhaps) but you need to ditch her.

Drogosnextwife · 27/05/2019 21:57

What a bitchy thing to do. I would drop her like a hot potato. Not sure I would show him the text, just act like it hasn't bothered you and she's a bit daft.

Original poster
kellypp · 27/05/2019 21:58

I have the text off her saying
"Oh it was just joking we were all having a laugh"
Etc
I've been wanting to send it but thought I best not incase it made the situation worse.
He has been texting today as normal and hasn't mentioned it but still it will be in his head.

OP posts:
JustHereforHarriet · 27/05/2019 22:00

That is such a bitchy thing to do. What a cow! She’s not a friend. And she might fancy your OH a bit too, trying to show you up like that.

AbsentmindedWoman · 27/05/2019 22:01

I wouldn't send him a text about it. Just keep being your usual, balanced self - your actions will speak for themselves. Unless of course he brings it up or asks, or something related comes up in conversation when you next see him.

Your 'friend' is an arsehole though and she is not your friend. Distance yourself there.

Iwouldratherbemuckingout · 27/05/2019 22:03

An ex-friend did this to me. Essentially spent the whole evening telling my new bf that I was incapable of doing anything without a form of support in place but on the other time, spent my time collecting notches on my bedpost. He was utterly bemused as we had been out a few times and he'd got a reasonable enough idea that I was somewhat different to how I was being portrayed. He read it as her marking her territory, and when I called her out on it she went full on melt down on me and that was the end of the friendship.
It sounds as if your friend could be doing something similar. She's no friend. Dump her. Show him the text and all you can do is see how it plays out.

OldAndWornOut · 27/05/2019 22:03

What an absolute cow!
Is this the end of your friendship with her?

Ravingstarfish · 27/05/2019 22:03

Text him and say you’re sorry about friends behaviour, you’ve no idea why she would say those things, maybe jealousy? But you hope he knows it’s not true and you’re looking forward to seeing him again etc

Then text her telling her she’s a bitch. Or just walk away from the ‘friendship’

Original poster
kellypp · 27/05/2019 22:06

Well she tried calling today and texting about her husband and I didn't answer or reply.
I'm still angry and I don't want to speak to her.
I just thought friends should have your back.
Why couldn't she say nice things.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/05/2019 22:07

I hope you are smart enough to make it clear to her that you are no longer friends. She is nothing but a viper in the grass. The things she said are inexcusable, and trust me, they were not said in The spirit of "fun." She was deliberately trying to humiliate and hurt you.

BumbleBeee69 · 27/05/2019 22:07

I would ditch them both...

HER for being a jealous bitch and HIM for believing her crap over his time spent with you on several dates.

You don't need either of these people OP Flowers

CalmdownJanet · 27/05/2019 22:08

She is a cunt. She is not your friend. Dump her.

Don't text him, next time you see him say "I feel I just need to say that Mary has form for being a liar and not a trouble maker, I was really annoyed at the lies she told the night we met, I'll be giving her a wide berth, but I wanted you to know that I'm actually quite normal and sane although it seems I need to improve my taste in friends" and then just move it along, address it quickly and lightly and carry on with your night

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 27/05/2019 22:08

Friends do say nice things! She is not a friend or even a nice person.

billy1966 · 27/05/2019 22:10

Ye weren't having a laugh.

She was being a total nasty bitch, trying to make you look like a headcase and put him off.

Sorry OP, but if you think that is the correct behaviour of a close friend, boyfriend trouble is the least of your worries.

She is dangerous and goodness knows what someone so mean, who obviously doesn't like you, is jealous of you, could do to you, to sabotage your life.

Don't say a word to him, but if ye meet up again, a moment might present itself.

I wouldn't ever put yourself in a position where she can deliberately try to screw with you again.

Find some self respect and bin her once and for all.
She is not your friend.

Best of luck.

Sissy79 · 27/05/2019 22:11

No 1: if you do talk to him about it, make sure you stress that this woman is a total dick, and that she isn’t a close friend. Wtf was she on about etc couldn’t wait for her to leave etc
No 2: don’t talk to her about anything important

CalmdownJanet · 27/05/2019 22:12

But text her and say "I actually saw a really bitchy malicious side to you the other night and I didn't like it, I like the fact you are making it out that I can't take a joke even less. You are no friend of mine. Jokes are fun for all involved, you made me the butt of your appalling behaviour, you disgust me. Do not contact me again"

Nomorepies · 27/05/2019 22:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Original poster
kellypp · 27/05/2019 22:20

So would you all send him that message but make a joke of it ?

OP posts:
Hassled · 27/05/2019 22:21

She didn't think it was all a joke. She saw that you were with a nice guy who you were into and for whatever fucked up reasons she didn't like it - that sounds like quite deliberate sabotage rather than jokey thoughtlessness. Just let her drift away - don't reply to any messages and focus on the friends who are actually your friends.

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