To be annoyed at my friend?

[kellypp]

I've been on a few dates with a guy and really like him.
Friday night we bumped into one of my friends (well she's a close friend but always does her best to make me feel stupid) anyway she sat down with us and had a drink.
Then here is where it starts ...a few days ago I said a girl called "Tina" was always commenting on his Facebook I wonder who she is.
(You know the way sometimes you talk to your friends)
She said to him "oh she's been obsessing over who Tina is,she is so jealous"
"I best not sit too close to you or she might get jealous"
Then she went on to say I'm very moody and love picking a argument (I really don't)
She went on and on and on saying things that made me look crazy and like a idiot.
Things that aren't even true..oh she loves to Facebook stalk her ex etc.
Since then he has been funny with me.
I text her earlier saying why did you do that and she said she was only joking etc .
Do I show him the text to prove she was joking?
I'm really upset about it.
We were getting on so well till she did that.
I said to him that she was only joking and he said he thought she was giving him the heads up.
I feel sick.

I agree with others. That ain't no friend OP. A friend would want you to be happy and be painting you in a good light in front of others. Maybe she's jealous,wants to keep you all to herself? You need to have it out with her,or just block her on everything and ignore if you don't like confrontation. Don't send the text to your fella,but don't delete it so it is there for you to show him in person should the subject ever come up.

OP, she is a first class bitch. Honestly, this would be (and was) a deal breaker for me.

I had been going out with someone for about 8 weeks and we were getting on so well, I really liked him and he seemed to be the same. We had spent a day out at the zoo/nice meal etc and went back to my house which I shared with my best friend.

I started to feel quite unwell (started a migraine) and went to bed early, leaving him downstairs with her and her boyfriend. My previous boyfriend had been her boyfriends best mate and he had treated me really badly. My boyfriend, best friend and her boyfriend, spent an hour or so chatting before he came to bed and off he went to work early the next day.

That night he phoned me out of the blue and told me that it wasn't going to work out between us and that he felt that I was not in a good place for a relationship due to what my best friend and her boyfriend had told him. So he dumped me. She denied saying anything and we had an argument before she finally admitted that they told him I was oversensitive and needy and had given my ex a really hard time (he got someone else pregnant so yes, I was devastated at the time). I had NO idea why she would do something like that, she knew how much I liked him and he seemed to like me. Our friendship ended right there, she completely let me down. This was almost 30 years ago and I still don't know why she did it.

I met the lad I had liked about 10 years after and we got chatting. He said he was sorry he had ended things, but that he panicked because he liked me and didn't know what to do. Seriously, this woman is not your friend.

What's crazy is when it's just me and her she doesn't do anything like this and we actually have a nice time.
She just makes sly digs.
She introduced me to one of her friends and she told me she thought I was really fun and she chimes in "really I don't " then laughed.

The ex-friend I was talking about was just like this. She could be lively and fun to be around. But it's not enough is it when they're making you feel like shit about yourself and sabotaging your other friendships/relationships? The sly digs are horrible as well - don't underestimate the effect these have on your self-esteem. My ex-F used to make comments then follow up with a laugh and "I can't believe I just said that" or "just kidding". She's chipping away at you. Honestly, just bin her. You won't regret it. A real friend has your interests at heart, wants you to be happy and fulfilled with other friendships and relationships too.

shes no friend. Shes a frenemy

She's a jealous bitch. Cut her off.

What an absolute bitch! Dump her OP, she’s either jealous or just a resentful cow trying to ruin things for you. Horrible thing to do to a so called friend.

Boo don’t send him the message! He may think you orchestrated the text. I agree with other posters. Let him see your balanced self.

I would try and have an adult conversation with him about your friend, calm and measured that the things she said are not true and she was obviously trying to make you look like a crazy idiot but this is her own issue/insecurity. Tell him that you were getting on great but now there seems to be this cloud and you shouldn’t have to spend your life worried that someone thinks your mad when you are not. He can trust this now ex friend and move on, which you will be sad about or trust you and move past it.

This friend has now put your in a position where you will be conscious about how he sees you all the time, it’s no way to enjoy a relationship. Men and women will all be a bit crazy at times and he will now be watching every move you make.

Listen;

She’s either a close friend OR someone who makes you feel stupid. It’s impossible for her to be both.

As for him; well I wouldn’t be making a huge deal out of it. If he’s going to be off with you because of a stranger’s (to him) comments then bin him off. It’s new. You don’t need the drama.

I’m not a jealous sort at all but I don’t see what’s wrong with being curious about a woman constantly commenting on his photos etc.

Incidentally, did he tell you who she is?

I'd be getting rid of the friend, she sounds mean.

Carry on as normal. He's not stupid. If your so called friend did nothing but ridicule you all night he would have seen through it. With friends like that who needs enemies?

As for the ' friend'- unless you have mutual friends and are likely to bump into her again I'd just ghost her. If you are liable to cross paths I would cancel if you know she'll be there.

What a horrible jealous person.

Wow! What a b!tch! Dump that doll, she is no friend of yours. She uses you to make herself feel better about her own shit life by running you down. Tell your boyo you've been noticing this more lately and are distancing yourself from her. If he's decent and worth it he will understand, if not....you've lost nothing other than a drag on your soul lol

Some people never seem to leave the playground; they were bullies at school and they’ve never stopped because no one has stood up to them.

Real friends don’t enjoy belittling you. They have your back and they’re people you enjoy being around.

She's not your friend, she's a nasty piece of work. Ditch her and you may find your self respect returning.

What a horrible person! You need to block her off your phone/social media.

Good riddance to a horrible cow!

She's not your friend.

Don't send him the text, don't even bring it up. He's clearly not taken any notice of her as he's been texting you as normal. It was such obvious bitchiness, if he's got anything about him at all he will have seen her for what she is. It's herself she has embarrassed here, not you.

If he's fine now, then leave it. If you think it's impacted him, I think I'd tell him a white lie and say you showed her his fb page and she picked up on this friend and has twisted it. You owe her nothing, and none of us want to show our insecurities so early on!

What a shitty friend!! I imagine she does this to other women to make herself feel superior. I would call her out for being a shit friend then block her out of your life. I don't think I'd text the guy about it if he seems to be acting normal. I would probably bring it up on your next date in a casual way and just say that you were angry and offended by her behaviour and unfair description of you, and that you've distance yourself as you don't need awful friends.

Ditch her

If he’s being normal again I wouldn’t send the text. If it’s appropriate next time you see him I’d prob just apologise for her behaviour, explain she’s full of shit and after her behaviour you’ll be giving her a wide berth, but don’t make too much of it.

Definitely don't send that text! Just carry on as you were. He hopefully has just seen her for a cow and trying to show you up. Ditch her.

Christ, she isn’t a friend at all. She sounds bitter and jealous, I would ditch her immediately.

You can’t really do anything about the guy now, give him some space and see if he’s still interested. If he’s not then chalk it up to experience, don’t let cows like that meet your boyfriends!

Tell your friend to fuck off. Don't bother with her anymore, she's not on your side and she will keep stabbing you in the back to make herself feel better for as long as you let her. Ditch her.

I wouldn't mention it again to this guy, unless it's to say "sorry about X being so weird the other night, we're not really friends anymore so you don't need to worry about another awkward evening with her".

Agree with @CalmdownJanet advice. What a bitch!

Have you ditched your nasty “friend” OP? I do hope so......