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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think sports day sucks

79 replies

Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:06

DS is 10, it’s sports day next week and he’s really not looking forward to it. Despite his best efforts he always comes last in his races. His best friends always do very well. I can imagine how it makes him feel. I do my best to encourage him and he doesn’t let it upset him but it’s a yearly confidence knock. He’s very flat footed and in-toes which effects his running.

Any pearls of wisdom? Things to say to make him feel better? It doesn’t help that his mates seem to be going through a very competitive phase, thankfully it goes over his head.

It annoys me because he’s fantastic at maths and reading. He’s kind and funny but none of that gets awarded so publicly. Oh and the mum’s shouting and cheering when their kids do well. Ugh,I hate the whole things too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:08

I’ve worded that wrongly. The competitiveness doesn’t ‘go over his head’ but he lets it’s wash over him (or at least he tries to).

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 27/05/2019 21:08

Could you afford to get him fitted for a decent pair of running trainers? Might make a difference.

orangeshoebox · 27/05/2019 21:09

yabu
sports day is fun and winning isn't everything,
your ds needs to find a form of exercise he is good in an which he enjoys.

kaytee87 · 27/05/2019 21:10

What other sports take place? It can't be just running. Is there something he could practice at so he doesn't come last in everything?

SachaStark · 27/05/2019 21:10

Tell him it gets way better at secondary school. We have about ten kids who do all the events. For the rest of us, it’s a day-long picnic on the grass, cheering and singing. I LOVE it.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/05/2019 21:11

Remember if he's kind and funny that gets reward every day through friendship.

SchoolPanicTime · 27/05/2019 21:13

I totally sympathise it can be grim when it's made really competitive. I actually love the way my DC's school does it. The sporty kids get their moment to shine but the kids who get up there and try despite not being natural sportsmen are also recognised.

For what it's worth at least sport doesn't really matter. As he grows up he can get exercise in a non-competitive way and his academic abilities will actually take him far. In the mean time I would make a big deal out of how proud you are of him for getting up and having a go and also being a good sportsman and congratulating the winners etc.

SinjunRivers · 27/05/2019 21:15

Always hated it when I was at school, it hasn't improved

MaudeLynne · 27/05/2019 21:15

Just tell him that different kids are good at different things, and remind him what he shines in. All he has to do is run as hard and fast as he can and don't give up, keep going until the finish.

Dorsetdays · 27/05/2019 21:16

I get what you’re saying but maybe consider that sports day might be the one day of the year that many children get to shine, especially if they’re not as clever as your DS at maths or reading.

I think it’s healthy for children to learn that they can’t be the best at everything and that we should celebrate other people’s success too.

Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:17

kaytee87
He has correctly fitting trainers/shoes and orthotics.

orangeshoebox where’s the fun in coming last? As an adult I wouldn’t enjoy a crowd watching me do something that I struggle at. He loves swimming and karate but he doesn’t compete in either.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 27/05/2019 21:18

Do they do anything like a bean bag throw anymore? Something that doesn't require running?
I sympathise btw, it wouldn't be much fun always coming last.

RandomMess · 27/05/2019 21:22

Our primary school did it in a great way yet kept it competitive.

They "assessed" the DC during PE lessons and put them into groups literally

The fastest
The slowest
The middle

So most stood a chance of winning and no-one was "last" by far.

They also did lots of silly races that didn't rely on them being great athletes.

We do need competitive sports but it can be made a more level playing field.

Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:22

I think it’s healthy for children to learn that they can’t be the best at everything and that we should celebrate other people’s success too. I’ll remind him of that.

It’s the way it’s so public though. Can you imagine if a child struggled at reading and had to stand up in front of all the parents from his year group and all the kids in his class, read infront of them and then come last?! And I know sport isn’t the same and it is about competition and it’s only a bit of fun bla bla bla but it still makes the slow kids feel like shit (or mine at least).

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Greeborising · 27/05/2019 21:22

I’m really sorry to sound so negative here but that’s life I’m afraid.
I can understand why you find it difficult
It’s no fun watching our kids competing in something when they don’t do well.
My dd was always last in every race (shit hot at long jump oddly)
There’s always the kid busting their balls, coming in way behind all the others with the parents screaming on the sidelines.
That’s where grit and determination come in.
I agree with everything SchoolPanicTime said
Show you’re proud of his attitude and willingness to have a go

MereDintofPandiculation · 27/05/2019 21:24

I think it’s healthy for children to learn that they can’t be the best at everything and that we should celebrate other people’s success too. But when there's prizes and accolades from other children for prowess at sport, and nothing but taunts of "swot" for academic prowess it is very far from healthy.

Greeborising · 27/05/2019 21:25

Lots of schools give prizes and accolades for academic achievement

Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:26

Every sports day I’ve actually been incredibly proud of him cause he gets up there and does it with a smile on his face and a shrug of the shoulders when he comes last but I know it’s chipped away at him.

Unfortunately he struggles in all the races. They do a stupid one where they have to put fancy dress clothes on as they run. He got his head stuck in the arm hole one year which of course everyone found hilarious 🙄

OP posts:
SuziQ10 · 27/05/2019 21:26

he’s fantastic at maths and reading.

If you're not so great at reading and maths, then most days / weeks at school will be a struggle since it's usually the focus.

I'm sure someone who's strong academically can miss one day of not being a high achiever. It's someone else's time to shine on sports day, and that's great.

RandomMess · 27/05/2019 21:26

Can you believe in year 6 on complete b*tch of a parent was there shouting to not let my DC win in a nasty way AngrySad and yes DD heard AngrySad

My DD is dyspraxic is poor academically, shy, has anxiety and they still couldn't bear for her to shine in the sprint...

Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:31

I'm sure someone who's strong academically can miss one day of not being a high achiever. It's someone else's time to shine on sports day, and that's great.

Well the irony of this is that he doesn’t even know he’s a high achiever in maths and reading because they push them so hard he always finds it difficult.

OP posts:
TeenTimesTwo · 27/05/2019 21:32

At least he's fantastic at maths and reading.

There are some DC who are hopeless at sports and struggle with academic work too (and music and art).

RandomMess · 27/05/2019 21:32

Have you not told him that he is excelling?

Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:36

RandomMess yes after every parents meeting I tell him he’s doing well but it falls on deaf ears because he finds it hard. I completely understand this because I always found maths very difficult despite being too set and getting A*. I think it’s one of those subjects that as soon as something clicks there’s always a more difficult level to push you to. It never feels like a breeze.

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 27/05/2019 21:37

Well if he’s fantastic at maths and reading he doesn’t need to excel at athletics too, does he. Maybe a discussion about us each having strengths and weaknesses? It’s good to know we’re not the best thing since sliced bread and others are better at some things.

He’ll probably find his particular sport in high school when there are more options. My son hated sports day too but went on to represent British armed forces at national level at rugby. I’d not worry too much.

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