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Original poster

To think sports day sucks

79 replies

Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:06

DS is 10, it’s sports day next week and he’s really not looking forward to it. Despite his best efforts he always comes last in his races. His best friends always do very well. I can imagine how it makes him feel. I do my best to encourage him and he doesn’t let it upset him but it’s a yearly confidence knock. He’s very flat footed and in-toes which effects his running.

Any pearls of wisdom? Things to say to make him feel better? It doesn’t help that his mates seem to be going through a very competitive phase, thankfully it goes over his head.

It annoys me because he’s fantastic at maths and reading. He’s kind and funny but none of that gets awarded so publicly. Oh and the mum’s shouting and cheering when their kids do well. Ugh,I hate the whole things too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:41

Well if he’s fantastic at maths and reading he doesn’t need to excel at athletics too, does he. gosh no, of course he doesn’t! And he knows he’s not ‘the best thing since sliced bread’. He doesn’t expect to be. He’s actual very modest, never boasts and has self deprecation down to a tee.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/05/2019 21:41

Well my other DD has finally clicked that there are always very difficult questions on maths and physics papers otherwise it wouldn't test the grade 9 cohort so keep on letting him know that he is given the hard stuff to do to challenge him Smile

orangeshoebox · 27/05/2019 21:42

where’s the fun in coming last? it can be a lot of fun helping your friends. or just being happy about the excitement. or just being happy about moving around.

SparrowBo · 27/05/2019 21:46

It's all about your attitude at home. There are valuable lessons in coming last, still enjoying it and congratulating your mates for winning.

AlecOrAlonzo · 27/05/2019 21:48

Ours was last week. It was awful for dd. She was second last every time except for egg and spoon which was worst of all because the lassies who placed all did some sneaky holding of eggs 😜.

Dd is pretty competitive and was gutted. Her first school sports day was filled with tears.

I just gave hugs and lots of "Chin up!" And pointed out how good she is at swimming.

Probably character building or something. I still remember it myself and it was hideous. I loathed it. It is not fun never winning at any race.

Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 21:50

SparrowBo thanks sparrow, I do say that to him and I’ll remind him again this year, to just relax,try and have a laugh with it and not take it too seriously.

It’s a bit grim though, there’s lots of tears from kids who want to win and then don’t. Lots of parents shouting. The schools quite strict with ‘the rules’ of each race.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/05/2019 21:54

Too late for this year but please suggest the system our school used it was so much fairer so many more DC placed etc.

HaveNoSocks · 27/05/2019 21:58

I get it OP it's not the not winning it's the publicly loosing. I think it's great that he has other skills, he'll probably have enough resilience to get through the day and it gets much better after primary.

SolitudeAtAltitude · 27/05/2019 22:00

Oh, we turned it into a family joke thing, great tales about how rubbish we all are at sports day (we are) , how I did not know there were 2 parts in the parent race, how DS1 wandered off to go for a wee just as he was due to start, how DS ran the entire three legged race carrying his (much smaller) friend, then fell on top of him in a heap of giggles

It was always a bit of a family joke how crap we all are at sports day, how serious other people take it (and others are just in it for a laugh), and how fab if an underdog wins, the people we wanted to win and why.

We just embrace our sports day crapness.

Then we get competitive only about the things we really care about Grin

SaGa · 27/05/2019 22:02

My DD is like your son- great at academia but rubbish at sports. In fact the first sports day she had, she came VERY last (think all runners have crossed the line and she is not even halfway). She finished the race to an applause from spectator parents (kind of them). She has since improved a little and learnt not to participate in 800m races!!
This has stayed with me and I always cheer loudly for the last person crossing the line. I hope it’s the same for your DS.
As Albert Einstein said, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, it will live it’s whole life thinking it’s stupid.
I always underplay sports day. We participate, come last or second to last, congratulate the winners and then go for an ice cream to celebrate having an afternoon in the track instead of classroom.

Bananasandchocolatecustard · 27/05/2019 22:04

Let him have the day off school. Seeing the white lines on the field at junior school every summer used to make me feel physically sick ( I’m not a runner).

Original poster
Scion457 · 27/05/2019 22:05

it's not the not winning it's the publicly loosing. that’s exactly it. I don’t think a child struggling with anything else would have to do so so publicly.

RandomMess your system sounds fantastic. Funnily enough they do this for the yearly swimming gala. He’s a great little swimmer but once again, doesn’t get to do well because he’s placed with the kids who swim competitively (in the local swimming club) and against them he’s middle to bottom!! I think they do this to utilise the whole pool, so the weaker swimmers race against eachother in the shallow end, stronger ones in the deep.

OP posts:
SparrowBo · 27/05/2019 22:07

My dd and I laughed at the histrionics of the over-competitive children and their parents.

Dd was brilliant about it. She came last in everything every year but she enjoyed it and congratulated the winners and the teachers noticed and praised her attitude.

At home we made a real effort to praise this too and tell her we valued this much more than winning. Winning must be great but let's face it, what does it actually amount to in employment and life enjoyment!

Ultimately she won a really great award when she left secondary school for her contribution to the school which I'm sure is not unrelated to her attitude to stuff like this.

Alittlebitofthat · 27/05/2019 22:14

I could have written this post about my 9yr old. He has dyspraxia and all the races are just difficult for him. He tries everything but always comes last. It used to really affect him but this last few years he’s come across the finish line with a smile on his face to cheers from his classmates, he was even awarded pupil of the week due to his ‘amazing sporting attitude ‘ his response ‘note they didn’t say aptitude mum’......but all that still doesn’t stop him hating it. He’s a very good swimmer and a high flyer academically but sports day is in front of everyone. I’ve only been to one of his sports day as I never get released from work so I’m sitting waiting for the texts from dh to see how badly it’s gone this year..... 3 more years of it then it should hopefully improve once he hits secondary

thenightsky · 27/05/2019 22:14

Seeing the white lines on the field at junior school every summer used to make me feel physically sick

Oh God yes... this comment brought it all back to me. I remember feeling sick at the sight of those bastard white lines and I still hate the smell of cut grass Sad

Ledkr · 27/05/2019 22:16

My daughternis sporty and good at athletics and will probably win lots at sports day.
However. She isn't academic and struggles a lot with maths which really upsets her at times and knocks her confidence.
Your son is a whizz at maths.
You can't be good at everything. Life is about divovering what you are good at and learning to deal with what your aren't.

Singletomingle · 27/05/2019 22:18

I was your that child throughout school never gifted at sport. I just enjoyed being outside and out of lessons. Since leaving school I'm no better but love running and going to the gym.

LovelyJubblee · 27/05/2019 22:19

My DS always came last or nearly last. Then in year 6 something changed and he came in the top section on sports day and also beat most of his peers in the swimming gala winning first place over and over in the races. We still don't know how that happened. Maybe he was a slow burner.

Anyway, it hasn't affected him at all the coming last. In fact it made him appreciate coming first more I think.

LovelyJubblee · 27/05/2019 22:20

On and we told our DS that as there was no expectation of coming first on sports day then he could really enjoy the day. Lots of tears from the kids that were battling for first. Our DS had a huge smile on his face all day because he was just having fun.

Greeborising · 27/05/2019 22:24

One year my dd was laying on my bed while I got ready to go out.

I said “how did the sports day trials go darling?”

She stuck one leg up in the air and said

“Put it this way. It ain’t fast, but it’s pretty”

3boysandabump · 27/05/2019 22:33

But what about the kid who's always last on the spelling test but is actually quite sporty?

I think kids need to learn that they can't be good at everything. In fact I teach my kids that they don't have to be good at anything. All that matters is that you try your best. If trying your best means you finish last then 🤷‍♀️

Alittlebitofthat · 27/05/2019 22:42

I also see a lot of people saying they’re good academically they can’t be good at everything and that is true. As it happens no matter how much we try to tell him different my son doesn’t think he’s good at anything but it’s the very public nature of it that makes sports different. Nobody stand round the classroom cheering when my son gets all his maths correct or knows all his spellings, nor do they point at or have to wait for that kid to get theirs finished and nudge each other when they are wrong....! It’s a very different situation in the classroom to on the sports track!

Greeborising · 27/05/2019 22:44

I’d just like to say that we had a huge laugh about that (in case anyone thought I was pushing aesthetics)

Surely, the whole point about sports day, exams, prize giving etc etc is that your child feels strong and confident in who they are, they know they are loved and have the tools to go forward and achieve all they can

Northernparent68 · 27/05/2019 22:54

Why do nt you keep him off school on sports day ?

BedraggledBlitz · 27/05/2019 22:58

I always dreaded it as a child. Mostly cos I hated being looked at/performing. But once I was there there were fun aspects, cheering on friends, trying 3 legged race, whole afternoon outside. I'll try to focus on these aspects when my DC starts all that shit!