Would you feel offended?

[Lovelysunshine]

I just want to keep my story short, but hopefully make myself clear enough. My mother (who is a bit narcissistic btw) bought some clothes for my DD when she was a baby, 3 items. She sent them from abroad where she lives. They were cheap and cheap looking (with poor finish and shiny colourful stuff on them) but I thanked her and kept them in our wardrobe.

Now she’s outgrown them and last summer the weather was so hot, she would not have worn them anyway. Last night my mother is asking me online if my DD is still too small for those clothes and I told her she’s outgrown them already and she didn’t get a chance to wear them. She said: oh, that’s a shame.

Now, almost 24 hours later she is writing me an attacking email that she spent one and a half of her pension (a total lie as I know how much she’s paid) and I decided not to use them, she is totally offended and picking a a fight. I am gobsmacked. AIBU?

No ignore her. I would have told a white lie though and say she had worn them but had outgrown them now.

I would have said she'd worn them. Seems a bit cruel to say she hadn't.

YABU why would you tell her that?

Yeah I'd lie and say has worn them but now outgrown.

Lesson learnt.
Next time put the item on your child, take photo, send to giver of ugly clothes and give the offending items to a charity shop.
She is b totally u
Sometimes you don’t need to tell the truths

Ignore the email. She may want to pick a fight, but you don't have to join in.

I think you were mean to tell her she never wore them.

You were mean to say that tbh

If we ever got hideous stuff, (shiny, character pictures, scratchy material) we took a couple of pictures in different parts of the house or garden, and then took them off and donated to charity.
Next time do that, I’d also ignore the email.

I think if OP had of said she worn it, grandparent would of been looking for photographs etc

Maybe could of said she worn them but don't respond negatively to that email.

"They were cheap and cheap looking"

You sound a right peach.
Not everyone has got money to be buying £k design outfits for babies.

I get where shes coming from, tbh.
Would it hurt you to tell her a little white lie.
Yes I'd be peeved too

Sorry but I think you were a bit mean.
I always just put unwanted clothes on my kids, take a photo and send it to the giver, then send the clothes to charity shop. Everyone’s happy.

You were being mean to your mum.

Why did you tell her she didn't get a chance to wear them? Completely unnecessary to tell her that, of course she's going to be a bit upset.

She took the trouble to shop for them and send them, and all you can say is 'no she grew out of them and I didn't bother to even put them on her'.

It doesn't matter that you didn't like them. People sent me loads of things I would never have dressed my children in when they were born that they never wore. I thanked them with a smile. I would never have told them that they never wore them, it's mean.

There was no need to tell her she never wore them. Why be so rude?

I think if OP had of said she worn it, grandparent would of been looking for photographs etc

Very simple to say 'I'll have a look but don't remember taking any'.

Number one rule:- take a photo with child in outfit. Say child has worn outfit. Produce proof- via photo. NEVER say they didn’t get a chance to wear it.

Why would you say that unless you were trying to make a point that her gift had been useless?
Not sure what you hoped to gain except a feeling of one-upmanship there.

you were mean , quite unnecessary to be so truthful, how hurtful

Yes yabu, you don't know the specifics of her Finances and the act of buying those clothes and sending them was a nice thing to do

although I suppose she may be used to your attitude by now?

You sound like snob and very mean.

You were unnecessarily unkind and I think you know it. It’s clear you do not like your mother (maybe your reasons are justified- only you would know) and this was your way of showing it.

I think it was a little unnecessary to say she hadn't worn them, better to just say she's outgrown them. If she asked for photos say life is hectic and you didn't get a chance to take any.

Your DM is being OTT in her reaction though. I'd ignore her.

What everyone else said, you say thank you, take a photo, give away to charity, it really isn’t hard